Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Perfect Timing

Recently I've been contemplating aspects of who and what God is... and the fact that, as Ephesians 1 tells us, He actually blessed us as His children even before he elected us. That means His first act toward me was to bless me, to give me the gift of His son, but also many other blessings -- spiritual and temporal -- on deposit, as it were, waiting for me to acquire the capacity to receive them. Being perfectly just, He knows it wouldn't be fair to give me blessings I have no capacity for. Without capacity they wouldn't be blessings, they would be causes for misery and might even destroy my spiritual life. Or my life altogether.

But capacity or not, they are still there and that is very cool to consider: that there are incredible blessings I can't even imagine, incredible open doors just waiting ahead of me -- and ahead of every one of God's children -- to walk through. And how about the fact that God is outside of time? That means that in eternity past He had an infinite amount of time to consider all the options relevant to my life and all the ramifications of those options and has chosen only what would be best for me specifically. He's put all those choices into a perfect plan that is based on His perfect omniscience, his perfect love and justice and righteousness. And timing.

God always does the right thing in the right way at the right time. Always. He can never make a mistake and He has complete control over my life. There is not one detail that He does not know about and has not taken into account. In fact, many of the details -- the ones I enjoy and the ones I do not -- were specifically chosen to bring me to the place that I am now.

These are things a novelist can really understand. We do the same sorts of things -- not perfectly, by any means-- with our characters. If only we had all eternity to do it. But we don't and so right now these are things this novelist is really holding to her heart. God knows what I want: to have the story in this book I'm writing revealed to me in its entirety in the proper time. He is going to do that, but it will be in His perfect timing, not mine, and all my anxiety and fussing and trying to force it is a total waste of time. I just have to relax, and wait for Him to unveil it. No matter what sight tells me. I am not to live by sight but by what His word says.

No change to the word count because I spent all day struggling with what was supposed to be the easy edit of Chapter 29. Instead, I got through pages 1 through 8. Out of 15. Not at all my plan. Not at all my timing. But He knew. In fact, tonight in Bible class He literally said to me, through the pastor, "Don't let the kingdom of darkness come and say you're going too slow. That you're not where you should be. God will tell you that, and it will be a conviction not a condemnation. Stop being so worried about where you are..."

Resting then in His timing, not mine,