Sunday, January 06, 2008

I'm Back!

From the day of my last post, December 20, until today, I've done no writing. First there were Christmas preparations and activities and then we left for California to visit my stepmother who is 86. Her sister (who is 87) is living with her now, and they have the house filled with belongings that were suddenly taken out of a much bigger house and put into a storage shed, and from there into the current small house. There was no room for us to stay there, so we stayed in a hotel. First time we've ever done that on this trip. In fact much of this year's trip was different and we really didn't know what was going to happen from day to day. But all turned out well, and we had a good time. Visited the Aquarium of the Pacific, the beach and found a great Chinese food restaurant in Cerritos.

It seems to me that God has been doing this constantly in my life now -- much fog and uncertainty, no plan ever allowed to stand as it was conceived. Something always changes, and often everything that you thought was going to happen collapses entirely to make way for something new. Or perhaps people or circumstances prevent a plan from being developed in the first place. The lesson then, is flexibility and the importance of focusing on Him -- rather than circumstances -- on a moment by moment basis.

I'm also seeing more and more the reality of the fact that true to God's word, those who desire to live the spiritual life will have problems and sufferings, and they are not going to go away. A particular problem might resolve but it will soon be replaced by another. Details of life. The charge of the mosquitos. There's been clouds of them lately.

The tendonitis I mentioned last month has continued unabated, actually worsening after the trip, probably because I did none of the recommended treatments for it. Oddly, repositioning my pillows at night (the ones I use still to prop up my arms) seemed to have had the worst effect, all that gripping and pulling through the night. Or maybe it's just been all the things I've had to do with my hands in the process of the aforementioned Christmas activities, cleaning, carrying and the stuff on the trip. Or maybe it just takes a long time to get better.

Besides the hands, a muscle spasm has started up in my right shoulder that manifests with burning intensity every time I sit down at the computer. Like a knife in the muscle. I don't know what to do about it, beyond stay away from the computer. I don't know what to do about my hands; either, though I'm thinking about calling a hand surgeon tomorrow.

And even when I decide that I am GOING to sit down and right, things come up that must be dealt with or attended. And I fall back on the knowlege and conviction that God has everything under control, that I might not have a clue what is going on, but He does. This book I'm supposed to be writing is His work, not mine, and He's going to have to see that I have time/energy/health and mental clarity to do it. Period.

I'm hoping that I can start again tomorrow. But that's tomorrow. For now, it's enough I've done this blog post!