Evolution Posts Wrap Up

Well, finally I've come to the end of the words that reading Fossil Hunter inspired in me. It's been an interesting journey.

In the course of looking up sources and answering some email questions, I learned that it's not that the Young Earth creationists (those who believe that there was no sin before Adam and the earth and heavens were created, rather than renovated, in the six days of Genesis) don't know about the Gap between verse 1 and verse 2, it's that they don't agree with it.

In fact, someone sent me a link to a guy giving a presentation on Young Earth creationism who early on in his talk just threw the Gap "theory" out the window as both "unscriptural and unscientific." Having spent the morning going through all the scriptures in support of the notion of a Gap of time between "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth" and "And the earth was formless and void" and thus more convinced than ever that it is the only thing that makes sense of the different verses, I was not impressed. And even annoyed. I didn't like his tone either. And hey, I don't have a lot of time so I decided to turn him off right then. Maybe I'll listen later, because apparently he does have some interesting things to say.

Curiosity sent me Googling him, and then the Gap Theory, the latter quite interesting. For one, I had no idea that us Gap Theorists' main reason for supporting it is because science says the earth is old and we are trying to make the Bible fit with what science said. I also didn't know that it was, in the 19th and early 20th centuries a very common interpretation of Genesis and prehistoric events. Even more interesting was the fact that the Wikipedia article cited Donald Barnhouse, C.I. Scofield and Lewis Sperry Chafer as its chief proponents -- all of whom were also proponents of Dispensations.

But then those two subjects do intersect quite closely. Anyway, from there I went on to Answers in Genesis, a website that purports to explain beginnings and is very disparaging of the Gap theory. I read a bit of that, but found their objections to be based on faulty premise after faulty premise that eventually I just gave up on that as well. When someone starts out with their very first objection and you don't agree with the first sentence they write... you're in trouble.

Anyway, I might do a blog post or two on it, if the Lord leads in that direction. But not tonight...

It's been a busy week. I've taken my mother to doctor's appointments for three mornings straight. And I've been focusing on getting home tasks done as a priority -- back to using Flylady's system, more or less. Mending things, cleaning out the refrigerator, taking my wedding ring to get the prongs put back in place so I can wear it again, starting back up at the Y, washing mini blinds and trimming the edges of the grass...

I've been reading another book, too: The Hunt for Bin Laden by Robin Moore. This one's nonfiction, about the the invasion of Afghanistan right after 911. That's been very interesting.

So tomorrow our three-day weekend begins. Hope yours is a good one! And Happy Mother's Day to all my readers who are Moms!

The painting is mine...
~~~

Marketing Questionnaire

Well, the colonscopy went very well. I have a normal colon, complete with pictures. The preparation for the colonscopy is something I am glad I will not have to repeat for ten years, by which time, I suspect that procedure will not be something I'll ever need to bother with again.

Got in some good work on Saturday. I'm now to ch 16 and for the first time ideas are starting to flow. Today I had to work on a Marketing and Publicity Questionnaire for the Bethany House M&P Department to use in selling my book.

I've had to trust the Lord to guide me on this. As may be obvious to consistent readers of this blog and my books, concise and pithy summations are not my forte. Here are some of the questions:

1. Why did you write this book?

2. How did you develop the initial story idea/plot line for this book?

3. Did you encounter any interesting challenges while writing/researching for this book? Please explain if so.

4. Did the book involve special research? Please explain if so.

5. What is the underlying theme/message of the book? Is this what you set out to write?

6. What is the take-away message you want readers to receive after reading your book?

7. Almost every author puts a little of themselves into their stories—what did you put of yourself into this one? (personality traits, life events/jobs, settings, characters based on people you know, likes/dislikes, etc.)

There are twenty of them in all. As I was pasting them in here, I thought... hmmm. Maybe my blog readers would also be interested in the answers I gave. Perhaps I should use these as blog posts...

I'll have to think about that. I already have my post for tomorrow written, however, so it won't be till after that.

~~

Modern Medicine

Tonight I am preparing my colon for a colonoscopy tomorrow (my first). What fun. Not. But I can't help thinking what a strange world we live in, that we will deliberately drink a solution designed to give us diarrhea.

I guess there've been worse things in the past -- trepanning, blood-letting, leeches...

I have to drink it in two sessions, one today (at 5pm) and another tomorrow, when I have to get up at 4:50am to do it. I comfort myself with the reminder that long before this time tomorrow, I'll be done with the whole thing.

Despite the weirdness of being on a liquid diet all day, it was a good one. I am very slowly learning just how it is I'm to trust the Lord, in all areas, and relax. Just let Him take my hand and guide me and when some giant rears up to threaten me, not to run away but stand there, letting all the confusing, conflicting thoughts swirl around me until finally they fall away and He shows me which one I need to focus on. I've wanted to know which one too soon, I think. Anyway, I've finished chapter 14 and am on to 16 (skipping 15 for now to attend to when I work through the other plotline/pov)

So it's off to bed. More or less.

~~

Not a Wasted Day

Well, tonight I'm even more tired than I was last night. I wrote the beginnings of a post this morning, but now I lack the mental clarity to edit it sufficiently to have it make sense.

Actually, I was tired most of the day, which is probably partly why my first day of trying for 4 hours of 100% concentration on writing was a total bust. I didn't even get in my former goal of two. Things did not go "right" this morning.

I had some spiritual issues to deal with. Also, Quigley started chewing on various fence boards which are in a pile in the back yard, some of which had nails and screws in them, so I had to take those out. (The boards are to stay there in the pile -- it's not my pile). In the process of taking the nails and screws out, I broke my hammer. :-( Had to find a new one.

I did a bit of dusting. Then decided that it was time to get to work (about 9:30) and I'd just let the other stuff go. But I couldn't get to work, was all out of sorts and had to address the spiritual issues, because what good is the work if I'm out of fellowship? It took me awhile to figure out what was going on.

Simply put, I had my eyes on the things of this world, rather than the things above. And since I didn't like the particular things I was contemplating and concentrating on, well, I was reacting to them. Which means sinning. Resentment, complaining, self pity, fault finding... arrogance... fear... Confessed them all, and recalled to mind that whatever my circumstances, ultimately they are the way they are because God has chosen them for me, decided in eternity past to place me in them and everything about them ultimately comes from His hand. Thus they provide an opportunity to bring glory to Him by acknowledging that fact and living as if it is true. If they are wearisome, frustrating and difficult, so be it. They're from God and I will accept them. Embrace them even, as an opportunity which is only available on Earth in time.

By the time I worked through that, I was hungry. While I ate lunch though, I went through my notes for Chapter 14. But then I got really tired. My brain felt scrambled. When I tried to think of what I was doing no thought led to any other logical thought. I went to take a nap. One thing led to another and that was the end of my writing for the day.

No matter. Tomorrow is a new day and I will try again. Four hours. I think I'll set 10 o'clock as my start time, and work til 12. Then try 2 to 4.

~~~

Heaven Forbid! Bibles in Barnes & Noble

I was in the Barnes and Noble today, looking for a new journal and as I was examining the various offerings I overheard one of the clerks say to another, "Boy, some of my customers are really going to get upset about these."

Curious, I looked over at what he was doing -- hanging up new bookmarks with a large, decorative cross on them, these amidst the fluffy white puppies, cute kittens, nature offerings and various bookish and avant garde designs. Hmm. Did he really mean what I thought he did? Did people really come into the Barnes and Noble and complain that they are selling cross bookmarks?

I stayed around in the adjacent aisle even though I'd already determined it didn't have what I wanted and continued to eavesdrop.

The other clerk came over to see what the first one was talking about and offered a story of his own. Apparently elsewhere in the store they had some teen study bibles displayed on an endcap that had set customers off, as well. They didn't think those bibles should be there at all, but especially not in the nonfiction section. If anyplace,they should go in the fiction section.

"Well, I think they have a case, sort of," said the first clerk.

From there the conversation continued but I couldn't follow it -- the first clerk said something about why the bibles were on the end cap, and added the fact that some people (not sure who) couldn't see the sign that said 'study Bibles.' I'm not sure what effect their seeing that would have had on the situation, largely because I'm not sure what situation he was referring to.

Was it the one where people looking for the bibles couldn't see the sign and so couldn't find the bibles, thus necessitating the end cap which offended the other people who apparently don't think bibles should be sold in a secular book store?

Or the one where people objecting to the bibles couldn't see the sign and so didn't know that they were study bibles and as such really did belong in the nonfiction section.

What was of greatest interest to me was that it was an issue at all. I was astonished to learn that people actually go into a general book store and complain about the sorts of books it sells. Of course I could see complaining about pornography, so maybe I shouldn't be so astonished. It all depends on your scale of values. And sadly more and more people in this country seem to be holding to a scale of values that not only excludes the Bible, but actively opposes its principles.

This was recently illustrated for me by a "much forwarded" email of an editorial piece on Sarah Palin written by Indian spiritualist Deepak Chopra. In it he took many of my values and turned them around as being evil. Small town values = "petty, small minded parochialism"; family values = "code for walling out anyone who makes a claim for social justice"; patriotism = "the usual fallback in a failed war."

Oh, yeah and Sarah Palin is the evil shadow of Barak Obama.

Wow. If you want to read this editorial, it's here. Not that I recommend it, since in my opinion Deepak Chopra is heavily influenced by and promoting doctrines of demons. But I think there are many who apparently adhere to the viewpoint, so from that angle it is interesting.

~~~

Hair Clip Kibble

Quigley ate one of my hair clips on Sunday night. It's about 2 1/2" long with about seven tines on a side. I found part of the tabs that you use to squeeze it open, the spring and a few tines. I guess he thought it was kibble.

I am sorry to say, that even after all my practice slamming things on the Lord my first reaction was not good. Later though, I got around to realizing there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. If some tine were going to perforate his intestine, well that was in God's hands. I think it was God the Holy Spirit who brought to mind pictures of the droppings of some of our former dogs that had rocks in them. If rocks could pass through, the small pieces of plastic probably could. So why think about it and torture myself with worry? How about I pretend it never happened and just go on?

Anyway, so far, he seems to be fine. He was very ... um... active today. Very pushy, willful, playful, intense. He barked at the dog next door until I had to bring him in. Later he barked at the neighbors behind us who have recently moved in and started some sort of landscaping improvement project (they're cutting down the jungle of weeds in the yard). He's also got half a dozen excavation projects going here and there. And the wind kept blowing weird things into the yard or onto the ground, which of course he found and had to eat. I have no idea why he was so ... mischievous. Maybe it was the wind...

Last weekend was a three day weekend for my husband. The Mondays after 3-days I'm always especially tired. We also had our monthly communion and pot luck on Sunday. I'm usually tired after those, too. Together I figured I'd crash yesterday, but I did pretty well. The crash came today. I crash weirdly. Instead of dozing off or collapsing into a nap as would seem logical, I just want to putter, don't want to get down to work, want to drift from activity to activity...

I did manage to get in my two hours of work (though I was hoping for more) (actually I think it probably was more. Maybe three hours). I'm on chapter 13 now, and in a tinkering phase. This is where I look at the section that needs fixing, have no idea what to do. Add a few things, take some things out, move other things around, put some of the things I took out back. Take out some of the things I added. Print it all up and put it in a folder for tomorrow. When I'll do more or less the same thing.

The progress is slow, incremental, spiraling. I think someone called it noodling. You go from complete chaos and "wrongness" to a gradual improving of the scene or sequence, one small area at a time. I keep getting ideas for things I've already written, too, so I have to go back to take care of those.

We took Quigley for his three mile walk, and though I started out wondering if I'd have to be carried back, I think it actually woke me up. I've just finished dinner. Now it's time to stretch and go to bed!

Tomorrow... an article about elitism.

~~~~

Hmph

Well, I got in some fairly decent work today. That's not to say I've made decent measurable progress, but I actually stuck to the program and concentrated, with frequent trips to the Throne of Grace for help. Help sorting through my confusion, help maintaining my concentration, help finding the right word. And slowly, painstakingly, one sentence at a time, I crawled along. I now have a sequence of thoughts/events to guide me. Next I need to go through the stuff I've written at the end of the chapter and figure out how to line that up with the sequence. If that makes any sense at all.

Anyway, things were going quite well in the get things done on my list and in order category. I even made lasagne tonight, putting it all together right after Bible Class, so it could cook while we took Quigley for his walk. Unfortunately... somehow in my haste... I forgot to put it in the oven!!!

Arg. It's cooking now. We won't eat until 9 o'clock. Hmph.

Monsoonal Return

It rained over the weekend, pretty hard, and they're forecasting a return of storms, which gives me an excuse to share this photo from a couple of months ago, when the sun was shining in the west and the rain was moving in from the east. I wasn't sure the rain would actually show up, but I think it does pretty well.

The chainlink in the foreground is part of a little "atrium" we have at the backyard gate so we can have two gates into the yard, sort of a safety/containment feature for Quigley. It's worked out pretty well for us, especially with him.

Also in the picture is Adam's old gym set, and to the right, behind the grapefruit tree, our no longer used pigeon loft. Originally it was a chicken coop, then we got rid of the chickens and a few years later, started raising homing pigeons. Here's an old picture of some of them:


Today I took my mother for her fourth and final chemotherapy treatment, and this time everything went smoothly again. She's still having sensitivity problems with the drugs, particularly in the days following the treatments so they are giving her prednisone to counteract that. The doctor tried to get her to go for two more weeks, but since the data supporting this treatment came from studies that used four treatments he didn't have hard facts to support his advice, only a "gut feeling." She'd had enough of it all, though, tired of feeling bad, which this time was for over two weeks, and came in there ready to quit.

Next up will be radiation treatments, which seem like they'll be much less troublesome, but one never knows.


~~~~

Lots of Rain

We stayed home for our four day Labor Day weekend, and endured a lot of rain at the wrong time. That is, rain that suddenly deluged right about the time we were getting ready to take Quigley for his walk (on two separate nights) so that we couldn't. Worse, we couldn't put him outside for shrieking either (I can't believe I worried we'd have a hound that made no noise!). Shrieking is what he's taken to doing at night when he wants you to do something (usually you have no idea what) or he wants you to stop doing something he doesn't like (for who knows what reason) -- thinks like cutting out a picture from a piece of paper, shaking water in an empty barbecue sauce bottle, trying to watch the news or working at the computer.

His shrieking is so loud it makes my ears ring. I can't stand it, and Stu doesn't like it much either. So eventually we put him out despite the rain. Then brought him back in... which meant lots of in and out and drying off and washing off of feet.

My son and his girlfriend were also here from San Diego. He stayed with us and she stayed with her grandparents who live here in Tucson. We spent some time with the two of them on Friday night. It was good to see them.

Honestly, I don't know what happened to the last four days, except that today I was really, really tired. That is no doubt partly due to the late hours we were keeping. I guess I did do a lot of stuff, even though it doesn't seem like I did because it was routine stuff or things like fixing breakfast and cleaning it up and washing sheets and cleaning out the office so someone could stay there... the kinds of activities one tends to disregard as anything worth noting or recalling.

I did try to get in some work on Enclave, Ch 7, but beyond noting that the entire existing chapter is totally lame and needs to be completely redone, I made no progress. I did try, but the blankness is upon me again. So I cast that care on the Lord and tried not to think about it, even though part of me is still insisting that it's irresponsible not to think about it and just trust Him to move me to do whatever needs doing at the right time. But since that's the only application that seems reasonable to me right now, I'm going to stick with it. He can surely straighten me out or make up for my misapplication, and that's what I'm going to rest in.

And now I'm going to go stretch and maybe take a bath. I did get most of my Monday chores done, so I won't have to worry about that tomorrow. Whether that means I'll push forward on Enclave remains to be seen.

~~~

A Typical Day in August

So here's the way my days have gone lately.

I get up between 6:30 and 7, and go through my morning routine, which involves taking the dog out, dressing, making the bed, feeding the dog, training the dog, sweeping the floor, and putting a load of laundry in the washing machine.

Then it's time to eat, during which I enter my first dink around period. I intend to get right to work on the book, but instead, keep getting pulled off into other directions. For example, I go into the bedroom to get a pen, see the rubber stamp on the desk and decide to finish stamping my three new Hero Arts DesignBlock stamps into my catalog. Done with the first stamp, I discover the stamp cleaning pad is dirty and I have to clean it before I can go on. In the process of that, I discover something else and somehow... two hours disappear. Then I go in and start working. And may get sidetracked again by reading email and blogs.

Maybe another hour disappears. Then, annoyed with myself for all the dinking around I finally Get To Work. I concentrate for awhile, do some heavy thinking, tinkering, analysis. Figure out what exactly is happening, what exactly is bad, and maybe what I need to do about it. Or more often, just that I do need to do something, but not what I actually need to do. Then there might be more sidetracking. Walking about. Lying on the couch watching penguins.

At some point I hang out the clothes, brush Quigley and bring him in and this is always good for at least a half hour of distraction. I usually put him on an 8 minute stay sometime in there (we're working our way to half an hour) And I eat lunch.

Then more work interspersed with who knows what. Finally, Quigley hits his active stage and has to be put back outside because he's too annoying inside. Then it's time for Bible Class.

After that I start dinner and we go off to walk Quigley or visit the dog park. Then it's home, eat dinner and do the dishes amidst much moving of Quigley from the house to the back yard, to the house, to the yard, etc. (depending on his behavior, which is often bad in the evening). During this time I try to get a blog post in. Which maybe makes it obvious why sometimes I just can't get it together to do one.

Have a great Labor Day Weekend. We're in for lots of rain. (We're having a big thunderstorm right now, in fact.) I still love the rain, but I am very ready for all this humidity to GO AWAY.

~~~~

The AZ Group

Here is a smaller than I expected picture of the AZ group that attended the 2008 New England Bible Conference in Massachusetts last week. I'm second from the left. As you can see, most of us are wearing long pants, long-sleeved shirts/jackets, etc. I should note that the tallest person in the back is not from Arizona, so far as I know. Also, two of our group reside in Colorado in the summer, Tucson in the winter, so I guess they could count for Colorado and Arizona.

It already seems like an age ago. At church today people asked how my week was, and I could hardly remember. Well, there's been a continuing issue with Quigley. He is acting all fine and lively but his digestive tract has not been right for days, so I've been cooking a lot of rice and examining a lot of droppings.

Tomorrow (Monday) I take my mother for her third chemo session. This time we are bringing our lunches since I expect they will want to go very slowly with the infusion to avoid a repeat of the reaction she had last time.

Here is a snippet from my conference notes that I especiall liked:

Every day when I wake up, I should say, "What does God have planned for me today? What will happen in my life that I can learn of the Lord Jesus Christ and how He responded to life and to His father."

~~~~

A Slave Mentality

Surprise! A Saturday post (that's because I'm going to be gone next week, and wanted to finish out this subject before I leave. And also because I have no doubt I will have other things to write about when I get back!!)

I wrote the other day about how accomplishment in life (even in a day) does bring pleasure and satisfaction. It's a blessing from God. The problem is in seeing it that way and not as something I can obtain if I strive enough, or am disciplined enough. (And isn't that funny, to think that all that discipline and hard work is actually motivated by a desire to feel good about oneself!).

Of course, it's not really something one can always obtain if you just "do things right," because sometimes things don't work out so you have the accomplishment. You work all day, and the card ends up a disaster. You scrub the kitchen floor and in minutes the dog and other arrivals trash it. You spend hours pouring over the manuscript and can't seem to change one word, though you are very aware that it is in dire need of changing. Or someone needs help. Or something breaks. Or, Heaven forbid, you have to do something new on the computer! (that's good for about six hours) Or you get sick... Or you just can't seem to get yourself to settle down and focus.

Then you have no accomplishment. If you think it's up to you, then you feel bad. But all it is, really, is a pleasure denied, not an indictment. Probably something God allows so we'll remember it's not up to us and not about us. He gives the accomplishment for our blessing, or He doesn't.

And really the other way of thinking is a form of legalism. In fact, it's a slave mentality. Here's a quote from one of my pastor's sermons of some time ago:

"When believers seek satisfaction about who they are and acceptance through accomplishment, it's legalism. We don't have to seek acceptance. We already are accepted. We don't have to seek satisfaction; God already is."

And if He is, shouldn't we be?

"Instead of life bringing forth service, we turn it around to make service the life. If you serve and hustle and accomplish and feel happy and accepted (and satisfied), then fail to do any of that and feel awful, you're in the trap. This is the relationship of the slave/servant to his master. We are to serve others, but we're not to have a servant mentality because according to Gal 4:7, we are no longer slaves. We are heirs."

So all this going through the day with my mental list of "what I have to do" or "what should be done" and the perpetual urgency, racing through each task to get to the next so I can accomplish things, get everything done (or thinking I should be doing B while I'm doing A, or A while I'm doing B -- which I also do) -- all that without enjoying any of it... it's just legalism. (And as I said before, Heaven forbid that anything should come up to hinder me in my pursuit of accomplishment). The Law in this case is that of my sin nature and my old human viewpoint thinking: You must get these things done or I'll make you feel rotten!"

When I should be focusing on each thing the Lord has chosen for me to do today. Every day is one He has made, for me to learn more of Him, see more of Him, enjoy whatever He has for me, no matter how mundane.


****

Answering Email

Today I answered the reader letter I received awhile back that was completely in Dutch. I ran the letter through one of those online translating things, and got at least a general idea of what was being said, but didn't see how I was going to respond. Especially since, according to the translation the reader's question was, "What does Arena have to do with the Bible?" Hmmm. Would I write it out in English and then put it through the translator for the Dutch version, then send that off to the poor kid (he wanted to use my answer for a book report...) not even knowing what it actually said. If it was as bad as the translation to English that I got, it might not even make sense to him. Her. I don't know.

So I just wrote to tell him/her I didn't read or speak Dutch. Which seems hardly worthy of the time I held onto the email without answering...

I've also actually answered a couple of friends' emails. A couple. As in, two. In between dealing with Quigley, and watching the news. Hmm. Maybe Quigley has had a greater impact on my life than I give him blame for.

I was watching the news so I could see all the storm damage Tucson's eastside sustained today. We had a fun hard rain at our house, on the fringe of the eastside storm -- we had black clouds thundering to our east, and sunlight shining through blue sky to our west. The backlit rain looked like silver blades hurtling to the ground. I tried to take a picture but the rain was so bright it just turned all white and you can't see anything.

When it passed, we took our walk around the park where, as usual, numerous fellow walkers commented on what a pretty/beautiful/handsome dog Quigley is. Yes. He is certainly that. And they didn't even see him in the sunlight. We also got sprinkled on, but it hardly mattered, given how humid it was.

Okay, I need to go rescue him from the backyard and get to bed.

--

Recover and Recharge

Today I read an article online about creativity fatigue. This is from Alexia Petrakos's post, "How to Recover and Recharge from Creative Burnout" on Collective Creatives - a cooperative artisan blog:

"Creativity comes in cycles. One month you’re churning out piece after piece, everything you put your hand to comes out fabulous. It seems like it’ll go on forever. You are the Productivity Queen! Next month you crash and burn. You can’t even bear to look at your studio, let alone make something. This is when you need to recognize the signs your body is sending. After a time of great creative work, your brain, spirit and body need a break. You’ve spent your creative energies and your well is dry. It’s time to recharge."

I think that I could paraphrase that second to last sentence to "after a lengthy period of sustained and concentrated creative work, your brain, emotions and body need a break." Now it applies to me. Some of the things she suggests are write in a journal, take a vacation, read a book, take a walk and sleep -- as in take more naps. She left out sit and stare out the window.

I have never experienced myself like this, being so without motivation. There are tons of things I should be doing... I should be catching up on all the cleaning that has been put off while I took care of the dog, nursed my trigger finger and wrote Enclave. (Instead, I'm just doing the bare minimum and one or two extra tasks a week). I should be answering my emails, but for some reason, can't seem to make myself do it. No words. I should be writing a newsletter but, again... can't seem to make myself do it. I should be cleaning out my files, backing them up, and reworking my website. I should be tackling all the house projects that have been put on hold while I was writing Enclave. But I can't seem to make myself do any of it.

Of course, I have been taking my mother round to her tests and doctor's appointments -- we have two more scheduled for the upcoming week, which isn't exactly a vacation, but sort of. It does seem to consume much of my energy for the day. And the heat doesn't help, either, since that always sucks the life out of you.

And we've been walking Quigley -- he and I went together around the park Saturday night and it was exquisite. After day of 107 degree temps, a sort of thunderstorm developed over the mountains and then dumped rain which sent a semi-sustained wind through the city. The temps dropped to the mid eighties during our walk (plus I love the wind) and it was downright comfortable. Quigley was as good on the walk as Bear ever was. It was wonderful.

My son returned from San Diego this weekend and we celebrated Father's Day on Saturday morning with breakfast at our favorite breakfast place, Millie's Pancake Haus. Those were all wonderful, fun things, but they take up time. And energy.

But beyond those things and the day to day requirements, I've mostly continued to spend my time making cards, playing with my stamps, ordering new ones and just sitting. I enjoy doing mindless things, like cutting out stamped images with small scissors. It's easy, and you make measurable progress. Plus I love looking at the shapes and colors and putting them together into pleasing designs.

It dawned on me today that I'm still tired. And that I'm tired in a way I've not been before -- not just physically but mentally and emotionally and ... willfully (?) That is, my capacity to make myself do things seems to be very weak. A friend in college told me today that she feels this way after a semester ends and it doesn't go away in a week (which I was expecting). More like a month.

I doubt I have a month, but I think I'm going to give myself grace here. It's been a difficult, confusing, chaotic year. I can continue to go gently and while I might not be napping, the sitting and staring, or playing with the cards, is a form of resting. A weird one, for me, but resting, nevertheless.

Baby Mockingbird

Here's our baby mockingbird. I wanted to take more pictures, but he didn't like the flash, which I'd never intended to use anyway, but by the time I figured out how to turn it off, he ran away every time I got out the camera. He has a little cubby in the fence that he can run to if something big and scary comes by. I feel better, knowing that. He seems like way-too-obvious dinner in his current, flightless state. In fact, I saw one of the parents fighting off a female grackle that was showing a bit too much interest in him. So I went out and scared it off!

Needless to say, Quigley had to stay mostly in the house again today. In fact, while I went with my mother to see the radiation oncologist, I left him in alone for the first time. He did great.

I washed windows, set up my new flatscreen, vacuumed and worked on a card with a cow on it. So again, I was mostly wordless.

Okay, my eyes are crossing. Time for bed!

Still Wordless

This is quite weird. I ended up looking through a rubber stamp catalog with my mother while we waited for the CAT scan on Monday. (Which, contrary to what I'd read on the Internet, took only 20 minutes, not the predicted hour.) After we had exhausted the rather skimpy catalog and she went away to be scanned, I still didn't read any of the stuff I'd brought, but looked through a Sunset magazine. As in, looked at the pictures...

Today I caught up on some chores and spent the rest of the day working on cards, figuring out layouts, playing with new stamps and papers, experimenting with different techniques and creating an "inspiration journal" that is really more like a "bungling..." er... "exploration and problem-solving" journal.

Oh, and we've had a baby mockingbird that has just jumped out of the nest in our back yard today. Quigley started barking up a storm this morning and I went out to see what he had. The bird ran away as soon as Quig was distracted and I managed to intercede before he really pounced. Whenever he finds something new, his first reaction is to bark frantically and keep his distance. Then as he gets braver it crescendos into The Pounce. Which is very energetic and would probably crush a baby bird. If not, The Pounce is followed by The Bite-And-Shread.

Later, I thought the bird was gone, so we went out again. (He looks like he's right at the edge of actually flying, but so far all I've seen him do is run) Quigley found him right away. He was standing in the grapefruit tree treewell, staring at Quig who was not barking but sniffing very cautiously and with great interest. His nose got maybe 10 inches from the bird, when the baby opened its beak, flapped its wings and chirped, where upon Quigley backpedaled frantically and got out of there. When he recovered his courage and came back for more, I told him to leave it alone. (More like, "No, no, no! Leave the baby bird alone! No!"). He actually listened and obeyed, though, and we went back inside.

He's spent most of the day inside, which was fine since it was 109 outside, and he finds that too hot. He's been unusually lethargic ever since this heat wave got going. We took him on the three mile walk around the park last night and he was really dragging at the end. Even though the humidity's at about 10 percent , so the evaporative cooler's been working really well. Of course there wasn't a cooler on the walk, and it was still something like 99 when we were out there. But Quigley's still something of a puppy at 8 months and this is his first Arizona summer. Plus he gets to lie around in the house all day, so he's not really getting acccustomed to 100+ temps.

If the bird's still out there tomorrow, I think I'm going to try to take a picture.

Mostly Wordless

These are a pair of metal dog sculptures I saw on this year's garden tour. I thought they were fun!

Since I turned in The Enclave on Thursday, I've been mostly wordless and generally still decision-challenged. I've done a lot of napping and staring out of windows. I went to a stamping party Thursday night, made a couple of cards on Friday and Saturday, and played with my new stamps, two orders of which I bought while trying to finish Enclave, then refused to let myself use (or in one case even open the package) until I was done with the book.

I've done very little that has to do with words. I've hardly even gotten on the computer, and have had no words to answer emails. I've played a lot with Quigley and we've walked him or taken him to the dog park every day. (He's finally beginning to understand that when we say "no," we really do mean we don't want him to do whatever he's doing. My! What a concept!)

Oh and how about this for a "coincidence?" Now that the first draft is done, my trigger fingers are almost completely gone...

This week I hope to get back to my Flylady cleaning routines, which have mostly been dumped for some time now (at least the weekly ones; I've kept to the morning and evening ones). And also answer my backlog of emails, though I'm going to keep that to a minimum. I'm actually trying to not do things involving words. Tomorrow I'm going to go with my mother as she gets her CT scan, and probably will spend some time waiting. I'm so used to reading when I wait, I'm not sure what else I'd do. Maybe sketch.

I'll let you know.

Karen

I'm Back!

From the day of my last post, December 20, until today, I've done no writing. First there were Christmas preparations and activities and then we left for California to visit my stepmother who is 86. Her sister (who is 87) is living with her now, and they have the house filled with belongings that were suddenly taken out of a much bigger house and put into a storage shed, and from there into the current small house. There was no room for us to stay there, so we stayed in a hotel. First time we've ever done that on this trip. In fact much of this year's trip was different and we really didn't know what was going to happen from day to day. But all turned out well, and we had a good time. Visited the Aquarium of the Pacific, the beach and found a great Chinese food restaurant in Cerritos.

It seems to me that God has been doing this constantly in my life now -- much fog and uncertainty, no plan ever allowed to stand as it was conceived. Something always changes, and often everything that you thought was going to happen collapses entirely to make way for something new. Or perhaps people or circumstances prevent a plan from being developed in the first place. The lesson then, is flexibility and the importance of focusing on Him -- rather than circumstances -- on a moment by moment basis.

I'm also seeing more and more the reality of the fact that true to God's word, those who desire to live the spiritual life will have problems and sufferings, and they are not going to go away. A particular problem might resolve but it will soon be replaced by another. Details of life. The charge of the mosquitos. There's been clouds of them lately.

The tendonitis I mentioned last month has continued unabated, actually worsening after the trip, probably because I did none of the recommended treatments for it. Oddly, repositioning my pillows at night (the ones I use still to prop up my arms) seemed to have had the worst effect, all that gripping and pulling through the night. Or maybe it's just been all the things I've had to do with my hands in the process of the aforementioned Christmas activities, cleaning, carrying and the stuff on the trip. Or maybe it just takes a long time to get better.

Besides the hands, a muscle spasm has started up in my right shoulder that manifests with burning intensity every time I sit down at the computer. Like a knife in the muscle. I don't know what to do about it, beyond stay away from the computer. I don't know what to do about my hands; either, though I'm thinking about calling a hand surgeon tomorrow.

And even when I decide that I am GOING to sit down and right, things come up that must be dealt with or attended. And I fall back on the knowlege and conviction that God has everything under control, that I might not have a clue what is going on, but He does. This book I'm supposed to be writing is His work, not mine, and He's going to have to see that I have time/energy/health and mental clarity to do it. Period.

I'm hoping that I can start again tomorrow. But that's tomorrow. For now, it's enough I've done this blog post!

Plan Z

I love how the Lord is just pounding in the lesson that it's HIS plan, not mine. That He wants me to be flexible, not fuss when my plan gets demolished. Even when it's plan Z for the day (plans A - Y having previously been demolished).

This being a Monday after a very full three day weekend (my hubby gets every other Friday off), I shouldn't have expected to get much done writingwise, but having done nothing since Thursday I was hoping... Alas, it was one thing after another including a hail storm with lightning late in the afternoon. I finally got started writing around 4:45pm, planning to work until 7:30 or even 7:45 since my husband would not be home until late. I'd worked an hour when he suddenly appeared. The rain had canceled his pole vault practice. No problem though, because he would do his practice in the street. I went back to work and around 6:24, bam! The power went out and unlike last summer, this time I was plunged into total darkness.

I groped my way through the house to the flashlight, then went around trying to find our puck lights. Finally found one, but couldn't turn it on. Was it my hands, weakened from tendinitis? Or were the batteries out? It took me some time to figure out how to take the back off the thing, and when I did, I discovered one of the batteries had leaked all over it. So I gave up on that and went to candles and the petzl head lamp and sat down to read a book.

Then my husband came back and we went out to eat at the Mongolian Barbecue where you put together your own bowl of fresh/raw ingredients, and they cook it for you. It was fun and yummy. From there we cruised back toward home, but since the power was still off, we went shopping. I picked up a couple of Christmas gifts and some other things we've been needing. Then it was home again, and finally the power was back on. Just in time for bed!

You just never know what a day will bring.

Grace,
Karen

Mopping the Ceiling

I'm really tired tonight. Had a big day, with lots of things in it. I had to do my morning routine, including arm exercises, then get in some writing time, then more arm exercises, so I could leave at 11:30 to get the car washed and then take my mother and sister to an art show. From there it was off to my physical therapy appointment, hurry home to walk around the park and get back in time for Bible class... With little time to spare between activities.

I had it all mapped out. Not surprisingly, God had other plans. I'd just finished my routine, was on the verge of going to the office to start writing when I accidentally dislodged a bottle of root beer from its six-pack carton in the laundry room and it fell to the floor. Amazingly it didn't break, but the fall built so much internal pressure it popped the lid off and sprayed the kitchen. Root beer shot across the floor to the opposite side of the room, doused the stove, the fridge, the cabinets, the walls... It also puddled into the doormat beneath the bottle and spattered the carpet in the adjoining bedroom. what a mess!

I cleaned it up, hosed off the mat, then found root beer on TOP of the microwave. How did it get up there? I wondered. Then I looked up. My white kitchen ceiling had transformed itself into something out of Carlsbad Caverns -- a brown wash, gathering itself into an array of stalagtite drops, which looked as if they'd fall to my newly cleaned floor/microwave, etc, at any moment. Aaack! I grabbed the mop I'd just used on the floor, rinsed out the head and mopped my ceiling. I've never done that before. It works rather well.

Since I had to move the dog crate to get the mat out so I could take it outside to hose it down, I decided I should use the opportunity to clean under that as well, even though it was root beer free. Then about two hours later, when the mat had dried, I had to put it all back.

I lost about an hour to all that, but the rest of the day went more or less as scheduled. I'm starting not to be so bothered by things like that. Even though it undoes a lot of what I'd just done, or puts me back on my schedule, I'm realizing that it doesn't matter what kind of obstacles come up. The system is solid and if I just keep with it, all will get back to normal eventually.

And as it turned out, I did get in some work on chapter 10, despite it all. I'm doing revisions right now, changing the direction I was going with the scene, and got about half way through it before I had to stop. And I have the next few scenes after this outlined. The 15 minutes on the timer method is working well (for writing and decluttering!). In addition to getting me started I use the timer to remind myself to get up, stretch a bit, walk around, and then come back -- which is good for my hands. I don't always do that after the first 15 minutes, but always after the second.

Sometimes I even use it to write a blog post! And now, the time is nearly up and I need to get ready for bed. I have high hopes that tomorrow morning will proceed more smoothly than today, and I will get at least 2 hours of work in. Maybe even three. But I don't want to get unrealistic in my goal-setting. LOL.

Grace,
Karen