Updating Mundanity

Having read Matt Labosh's article about Facebook, I decided to give one of its functions a try here on my blog, just to see what it would be like. This would be a combination of FB and Twitter I guess... A running update that will keep readers, um, up to date, on all the thrilling events of my life...

9:40am Karen is typing at her computer about how she is typing at her computer for a silly post on the minutia of what she is doing...

9:50am Karen is waiting, quite a loong time, for her very slow computer to show her the save window.. tick tock, tick tock... It's up and she is now saving her post...

10:30am Karen is again waiting for her very slow computer to open the um... well, she's been waiting so long, she's forgotten what she's waiting for it to open... ah. The email...

10:40am Karen is so frustrated with waiting for her very slow computer to do ANYTHING, she is deleting the temporary files and cookies and going out to turn off the sprinkler.

1:08pm Karen just finished reading Dean Koontz's One Door Away from Heaven and writing up her thoughts about it, which on balance were not positive. To make matters, worse, the book is autographed specifically to her! She feels like an ingrate.

2:22pm Karen is figuring out the postage to mail a copy of Arena to someone and checking her email.

3:39pm Karen is again checking her email and turning to that earlier task of figuring the postage after being distracted by reading news-sites and political blogs. She is not sure how this rather lengthy distraction occurred.

5:27pm Karen is updating her website to show The Enclave as her latest release instead of Return of the Guardian-King. She is amazed to find her ancient FTP program works on Vista.

6:40pm Karen is tired of noting the "mind-numblingly dull" things she is doing and is going to stop. After which she will fix dinner, eat it, then walk Quigley around the park.

~~~

Bees

Last week, right as I was finishing up the galleys, the neighbor came over to ask if we had a bunch of dead bees in the yard. No, we had no dead bees that I knew of. I went out and looked, but no dead bees. She, however, had a bunch of them on the ground near the fence that separates our properties. We looked at the bees, most of them dead, some dying, and speculated what might have happened. Maybe they'd gotten into poison...

Afterward I went in and called my husband at work. He called a friend who knew about bees, and from him learned that the temperature the night before -- in the low 40s as I recall -- was cold enough to kill bees when they are swarming. No doubt there was a swarm, and when they stopped for the night, balling up in a tree somewhere, the outside layer of bees had perished in the cold and fallen to the ground.

Well, that was interesting. If it was so, then maybe the swarm was still there, because at the time it was still pretty cold. So I went out for another look. There were only a few bees buzzing around, but nothing obvious... Wait. What was that dark blob way up there on one of the pine tree's branches? I peered at it, walked around trying to find a better vantage, thinking it looked an awful lot like wood or some sort of deformed growth of pine cones. Could it be the swarm? It looked completely solid. And nothing was moving. Suddenly I thought of the camera. I could use the telephoto to get a better look at it. So I did. And it was the swarm:


At left is the mass of bees. It was about the size of a basketball. It stayed just like this until about 3 pm when the bees began to stir. About that point the neighbor freaked because this was right above her back patio. Even though I told her I didn't think the bees would hurt anyone (they don't sting when they are swarming, only when they have a hive to guard) and that we could just wait for them to move on she wasn't interested in waiting. She called some bee removal people, who came a few hours later and dispatched them.

I thought it was weird of me to be sad that the bees died. But...obviously there were many bees around or they wouldn't be swarming and the likelihood was great that having been stressed by the cold they would look for a permanent home very close to where they'd swarmed. Like in our yard. All our bees in Arizona are Africanized now, and so you don't want them setting up house on your property, especially not in a place close to the neighbor's door or patio, so I couldn't feel that badly about their demise. As I said that was about a week ago.

Then, late yesterday, the neighbor called to tell me the bees were back. So I went out again, and this time the swarm was making its way into one of the tires in a stack of three we have out in a side yard. A carpet of bees covered portions of the tread of the tire and was moving slowly upward through the crack between where two tires were stacked. Others buzzed wildly about the area. Exactly what we were told to beware of...

Well, my husband took care of them after dark. He said even when he took the tire away, they didn't fly much, didn't try to sting, just bunched together. He thinks they might have been remnants of the earlier swarm. Could be, since there weren't nearly as many.

But... weird.

~~~

Some Things Grow Clear

I think I might have mentioned that I've been having trouble concentrating and staying with the work. I keep thinking of all these things to do besides write. And before it's time to write, I often get this feeling of oppression and discouragement. The feeling that the work is no good. That it will never be good. That no one cares. That it's all a failure. Why am I bothering, etc, etc. Unfortunately I don't usually take the time to focus on the specific thoughts behind the feelings, I just feel the feelings. And so I don't want to do the work.

Then when I do manage to get myself into the office and start to get settled, little thoughts keep coming in to get me off track. I should check the email! I need a pen. Then I go to get the pen, and stuff lying around the house in a different room distracts me and the next thing you know I'm organizing my stamps or cleaning spots off the wall, or doing something with Quigley.

Last week I asked the Lord what was wrong with me. I got the idea then that maybe all these thoughts didn't originate with me. I've heard that concept before -- Pastor has mentioned it off and on -- I just didn't really think it applied to me. Usually he mentions it in conjunction with concentrating in Bible class or praying... But now I thought maybe it could apply to my writing as well and that it wasn't all me. So I asked Him. "Do these thoughts originate with me, Lord?"

That very night, Thursday, He answered me in Bible class. NO! They do not!

Here are a couple of quotes from the speaker (Evangelist Scott Grande, standing in for Pastor McLaughlin who's had a back injury) first on the subject of concentrating during Bible class:

"When my mind wanders when I'm in class... those thoughts are distractions from the kingdom of darkness. You must CAPTURE those thoughts; lock them up in a prison in your mind... during the time dedicated to exposure to Bible Doctrine, concentrate on the Word being taught and block out all distractions. This takes mental discipline."

Wow.

Even as I was taking notes, applications were rushing into my mind: all those thoughts to check the email, the blogs, to go do X (not writing) are NOT from me. And not only are those thoughts from the Kingdom of Darkness, but I'm certain the negative ones are too -- the doubts, the "what's the use" thoughts, etc. The word tells us that Satan wants to wear down the saints. We are told not to grow weary, not to lose heart, not to get discouraged. It tells us Satan and his minions will try to do that very thing, get us entangled in the details of life, try to persuade us that what we are doing in God's plan for our lives has no worth or purpose. Those thoughts have to be recognized, captured and replaced with truth.

Evangelist Grande went on to detail potential distractions, of which several struck me as being particularly fertile ground for my enemies to plant seeds in: the desire for something easier to do than struggle with this book, the desire for attention and approval, the desire for social interaction, the hypersensitivity of caring what people think, feeling sorry for yourself when you don't have all you want... but then he hit the last one and it got me all excited: Interruptive technologies.

Cell phones that interrupt you whenever as you are trying to focus. Or...

"I'm at the computer, looking something up and the email's on. Ding! You've got mail. Ding! Southwest Airlines flight specials. Shut the stupid things off and give 100% concentration to the work."

I don't have a cell phone. And I do not have my email open. I have to open it and push send/receive to check it. Those aren't really very strong barriers though. When I sit down and the thought comes, "I wonder if so and so replied. It'll only take a moment to check," and I believe that, and don't recognize that thought for the big fat worm on the hook that it is, I'll be lured away for maybe a couple of hours.

So I've decided to set aside time (sacred="set apart") devoted to writing, and during that time I will devote 100% concentration to the writing and allow no distractions. I'm also trying to come up with some sort of opening routine for my writing time, a couple of steps to go through every time to give me something preplanned to do that I can do whether I feel like it or not: pray, stretch and read through yesterday's work.

I've only adhered to this little change for two days (Friday and Saturday) but so far the results have been amazing. It just feels different. To really know those thoughts are not little harmless, it won't take long thoughts, but deadly enemies. Vipers. The little foxes that trample the branches and thus ensure that they will not be producing any fruit.

Of course the proof is in the long term, so momentary enthusiasm means nothing. It has to be day by day...

Oh, but that was another thing he said, again referring to the study of Bible doctrine -- the daily study of it, which is commanded by the word, and essential to our spiritual growth. But we're not supposed to be living in the future. We're supposed to be living in today. So don't think in terms of "daily intake," think only in terms of today. Today I will make sure that I get in Bible Class, because it's the most important thing I will do.

So it is with writing. Today I will make sure I get in my two hours, (in addition to Bible class of course) because that's part of my calling, and I have to be taking it seriously.

~~~

General Hospital

Well, the obstacles and distractions continue right up to the end, it would seem. I really intended to start posting more after the Sunday May 18 post, but circumstances have prevented it. I can't remember what happened that next Monday, but something did and I do remember only being able to work for half a day.

About two weeks ago we learned my mother has breast cancer, and last Thursday we spent the day at the hospital with her while she had her surgery. The operation went splendidly, no blood loss, no problems whatsoever, which is pretty remarkable for an 80 year old woman. Of course many people were praying. We are waiting now to see if chemotherapy will be needed.

Friday, the next day, she was discharged from the hospital, and after driving her home, I come home and literally crashed. I was SO tired I just lay around all day and napped. Meanwhile, during all of that my husband was suffering from a very intense stomach flu. Saturday I got some good work in, but Sunday was church and also the day we were going to celebrate our son's birthday. We were to meet at 5pm.

About 4pm I went from feeling fine to feeling bad. By 6:30 I was in the bathroom losing my lunch (literally). It was the most intense bout of stomach flu/diarrhea I've ever had, which admittedly isn't saying a lot since I've rarely had the stomach flu. I think the last time was when I was a kid.

The second day, Monday, I couldn't sit up for any longer than it took to take a few sips of water. I slept on and off pretty much all day. And visited the bathroom in between. So obviously I didn't get much work done then either.

It's so bizarre the way these things keep coming up, but I am getting used to it. In some ways I just want to get this book finished before something else happens! If only I had the energy. I'm not feeling too bad today, even went for a walk, though I still haven't been able to eat much more than dry toast in the way of solid food. Maybe tomorrow.

Believe it or not, though, things are progressing with The Enclave. I have 23 chapters ready to go, and six more drafted. Only one of those is really, really sketchy at this point (that would be ch 29, the one I started today). I think the book is going to go to 33 or maybe 35 chapters. But these are shorter chapters than were in Guardian-King, especially some of them. So it doesn't look utterly hopeless. I doubt I'll get it in by next Monday, but I'm now shooting for sometime that week for sure. Probably should let my editor know.

On the home stretch now!
Karen

SUPER High Maintenance Quigley

Here is a picture of the speck that was in Quigley's eye. See that tiny black dot at the end of the white arrowhead on the right? That's it. The ballpoint pen (on the left) is there for scale.

Today, Friday, I did about half an hour of very lame editing on some of the material I had in ch 19, Bible class, and almost nothing else. I was pretty much a dog nurse for the entire day. Or maybe the dog nanny.

He's not supposed to get all exercised and rambunctious, but all his chews that we use to calm him down, he can't chew without help because of the Elizabethan collar. So I have to sit with him and hold the chew. Then he can't go outside except to "eliminate". Since we are still working on communication about that issue, I have to take him out a lot, on the leash (which he keeps trying to bite now). Can't just put him out in the yard because we don't want to get anything into the healing eye. Dust, bits of grass, leaves, weeds. Our yard is very interesting for a dog, but not a very good hospital ward.

He's also supposed to have ointment put in his eye every 4 hours. Stu did the 6am one, but my attempt at 11am was a complete disaster. I tried three times, wrestling and fighting to restrain him til I was panting with the effort. And since I couldn't restrain him with one hand and put the ointment in with the other, especially with the collar in the way... it was a disaster, as I said. I know I got the outside of the eye well-covered; unfortunately the ointment was to go in the eye, not outside. Worse, after that, now he's all weird with me.

Well, everything is weird. Our entire routine, all his usual things, are gone. He can't sleep in his crate because of the collar, which is too big. So last night Stu sort of stayed up/slept with him in the living room. He kept trying to take the collar off, insisted on sleeping with Stu on the sofa... and I don't know what else.

It's like all our efforts at training him are also going down the drain.

In between the bathroom trips, holding the chews, and the war over the ointment I tried to figure out other things to distract him from getting all excited about pulling his e-collar off, or fighting with the sleeping bag in his disassembled crate... Like filling the kong toy with treats so he could work them out of it. And take him on short walks in the street, which they said we could do, as long as it wasn't windy.

The eye doctor did say we might have to use sedatives for him, if he's too rambunctious. In his defense, he did sleep for three and a half hours straight this afternoon. And then another half hour a little while after that. And I think he's lying quietly out in the living room right now, but earlier there was nothing quiet about him.

And at the end of the day, we're trying to decide: is his eye more swollen than it was or isn't it?

Karen

PS. We see the doctor on Tuesday morning when hopefully he will take out the stitches and say we can quit with the e-collar.

Quigley's Splinter in the Eye

Well, today I had planned on reporting my progress with The Enclave : I spent an hour and half working on the last scene in ch 19 (or the first in ch 20 -- I haven't decided yet.) Around and after that I spent the day dealing with the latest Quigley crisis, and so that's what I'll report on.

When I took him out of the crate this morning, his left eye was squinting . So I called the vet and she said he wouldn't be doing that if it didn't hurt and there was probably something in it. So I went and put the crate into the car, and at 1:45 left to travel 20 minutes across town to the vet.

Turns out he did have something stuck in his eye, poking into the cornea.

They had to sedate him (which hadn't had any effect they said, but I could see it when they brought him back) to stain the eye and flush it out and see if she could brush off the object (hey, it's another foreign body somewhere it shouldn't be! And this time there really is one). The problem was, she didn't have the equipment to see it well enough to determine what it was and if it went all the way through the cornea, in which case surgery would be needed. So she referred us to an ophthalmic specialist across town.

After something like a 40 minute drive, we arrived, and Quigley was really feeling that sedation by then. Slept in the crate, drooled all over the place, didn't want to get out of the crate -- I had to pull him and his bedding out to get a hold of him and lift him out of the crate and then the car...

The specialist looked at his eye with his instruments and immediately determined that the foreign body had probably been in his eye a few days, that it was a strange bit of plant matter that he'd seen a few times in other dogs around this time of year, but he still doesn't know what it is. It had worked its way halfway through the cornea, which meant it would not be easily removed, and he'd have to fill in the hole. With Quigley under anesthesia, he would remove the object and then either fill the hole with medical superglue, or have to do a graft of tissue from the conjunctiva, which is what covers the white of the eye. He was hoping for the superglue, but if the cornea beneath the foreign body was mushy, he'd had to use the graft. Which would be a lot more expensive.

Regardless of which, it's still wildly expensive. Also, there are only two docs in town who do this. Our doctor was leaving for LA on a 6am flight to do surgeries over there, and the other one had a full schedule tomorrow, so our doc is doing it as I write this. I left Quigley there about 5 as they were taking him to surgery, and came home. When he's out they'll call us and we'll go back and pick him up. Probably around 7. Thankfully, it won't be as long a drive as it was from the vet's office.

Then there will be the recuperative care. I'm guessing there'll be a cone involved, but beyond that... who knows?

The workers at the vet's office kept talking about how weird this is, and how could this happen and... I'm almost laughing. Wearily, but laughing, none the less. Of COURSE it would be weird. And now that I have a dog back in the picture, he can take the book-deadline hits instead of me. Even though I take them, too, when he gets hit.

But it was so weird today, so familiar, to be trying to concentrate on the book and yet my mind distracted by the whole health issue. At least we know what it is, now and have begun to treat it.

Oh well. God's gonna have to deal with it, like He's been dealing with everything else. And I have to remind myself that He is for me, that He has a plan and it doesn't necessarily line up with mine. In fact, more and more, I KNOW that it doesn't line up with mine at all, and I am almost at the point of saying, "Plan? You want me to plan? Why in the world would I do that?"