Unexpected Research

Tuesday I applied the principles I've been posting about this week. I came into the office, rebounded, asked for guidance, thought maybe I'd start by tidying up my desk and then reading what I'd written the day before. And somehow, I'm not sure how, I ended up going through my collected articles on evolution, then reading some material online and...I spent pretty much all day on it. Not at all what I thought I'd be doing, but it's changed the direction in which I was planning on going with the scene I'm facing. I'm not sure exactly where I'm headed now, just not where I had planned. I am confident, however, that the book will be better for it.

I am also pretty blown away by some of the things I read. But more on that next week.

Grace,
Karen

Undicsiplined Lout

From a Nonstop I did a couple weeks ago, in the throes of blankness:

Lord, I need your help! I’m totally confused, I don’t know where to go, I’m starting to get antsy and uneasy because time is passing faster than pages are accruing and even though yes, it’s come together before, the last time was so hard and so bad and I hate having to do that to my editor and everyone else. I want to be responsible and reliable, not the temperamental, undisciplined artiste who can’t meet her deadlines.

If I can't, then I gain a reputation as a sluggard and a person with no discipline which could well be the truth. It may be I don’t have discipline. But if I need discipline, what am I to do about it? Why can’t I make myself… hmmm...

Make myself. Lord, do you even want me to make myself set a time and get my butt in here at that time and write nonstops? I could do that. To a point. Until my shoulder starts hurting, which it is starting to now. So I just can’t go on and on and on.

And now I wonder, is all this idleness and distraction part of the process? After all it’s always been like this. For thirty years of writing it's been like this. Of course, maybe I’ve always been undisciplined. Or maybe… the whole creative function won't be controlled. I wish I knew what I was to do.

Don’t compare yourself.
In whatever you do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord.

Okay, yeah, I get that. But… how do I do that with this? What does "heartily" look like? Reading a bunch of stuff, making a bunch of notes, then making an outline from the notes, based on which event follows which, and finally sitting down and just writing it out from the notes? That’s the way I learned to write papers for school.

But this isn’t like that. I don’t really know how all the pieces of this book fit together. I don't think I even have all the pieces yet. And I can’t just go read and collect a bunch of facts to put into my book.

Furthermore, if I stop and look back, I see that there are lots of reasons why I am where I am right now. I have had a lot of distractions.

In March last year, when I began writing this book, my hard drive crashed and I had to get a new computer. Simultaneously, my glasses didn’t work for about three weeks and I kept having to drive across town to the eye doctor.

In April I had the blog tour for RotGK, where there were interviews and blog posts to write and comment on. All told, it took about three weeks of my time.

In May… I got the royalty statement and realized that Legends of the Guardian King was not going to be the wild success I’d hoped and dreamed for.

In June I broke my leg.

In July I recovered, sitting about with my leg elevated (which is not easy to do while at the computer).

August 1, I broke my arm and lay around on the couch with my arm elevated for six weeks straight. I read a lot but did no real writing.

In September I went to a Bible conference, got my cast off, and started therapy.

In October I continued therapy and tried to start functioning again – catching up on all the dirt and dust and mildew that had taken over the house during the summer when I was lying on the couch with my arm elevated.

In November the trigger finger problem began, and troubles with my shoulder. I had to learn keyboard techniques to avoid the mouse.

In December it's always crazy, we were out of town for a week and my shoulder really started hurting whenever I tried to use the computer.

In January we had our Arizona Bible Conference and got Quigley, the Tasmanian devil doggie. And my car broke.

In February I was still dealing with Quigley, while the trigger finger worsened.

So yeah, there’ve been a lot of distractions. That tells me this book is important spiritually speaking, but that doesn’t tell me if I’m out of line for not being more disciplined, even if I don’t know what “more disciplined” looks like.

Grace,
Karen

New Title is Official (I think)

My work in progress, Black Box, now has a new title, courtesy of Bethany House's Vice President of Marketing.

You might remember that I submitted 14 possible alternative titles to BHP a week or so ago. The editors and others batted those titles around and came up with a short list for me to review. From that list I sent back the ones I liked best in order of preference. They were:

This Dark Illusion
The Institute
The Enclave
The Longevity Code

I said I'd go with any of them. Because This Dark Illusion had been the one the editors thought sounded best and fit the story best, and because I agreed, I'd kinda settled into that being the final choice. Which shows the foolishness of settling on anything until it's settled.

After input from the head of marketing, Black Box will henceforth be known as

The Enclave

I think I can see why. This Dark Illusion is kind of vague. More artsy than The Enclave. The Institute is really pretty generic. There are probably a lot of other books, or at least places in books called "The Institute". The Longevity Gene is something that would get lost in other longevity books. It also sounds like it could be a science text. Of them all The Enclave is the most accessible and visual, while being somewhat intriguing as well. At least that's my assessment. But really, what do I know? Only that readers do indeed judge books both by their covers and their titles!

Grace,
Karen
P.S. Oh, my goodness. There really are a lot of Longevity books when you look it up on Amazon. Most are health books and one is even called The Longevity Code: Your Personal Prescription for a Longer, Sweeter Life.

A New Title

Last week my editor emailed to let me know that the title of my WIP (that's Work In Progress) could no longer be Black Box. Apparently another novel called Black Box was published by a Christian publisher in 2004. It didn't do so well (it had to do with airplane black boxes) and marketing is afraid booksellers and readers will get my new book confused with this older one. So I've spent the last few days coming up with some alternate titles.

As I did so I realized that Black Box really isn't a very good title. For one thing, your title should use fresh and lively words. "Black" and "box" are not exactly either. In fact, there are several other books named Black Box out there besides the one I just mentioned and I have to admit, looking at them the title seems rather dull. If you have no frame of reference... well, a black box is just not that interesting.

Yes, it works perfectly for my story if you actually know which black box I'm talking about -- not the one in an airplane, but the concept of a black box, which is a thing whose actions or output are known but the mechanics behind them are not. "Something that is mysterious, especially as to function." So many things in life are like that, from living cells at one time, to genetics, to aging, to the human soul, to many aspects of the spiritual life. It's a perfect concept, but...alas, since for most people this concept is not going to be the first thing they think of when they see Black Box on the cover of a book, not the perfect title.

But coming up with something better? I don't know. I made a list and sent it off. Perhaps nothing on it will be the actual title, but hopefully one of the titles I brainstormed will generate the one that ends up on the book. We'll see.

Wanna see the list?

Here is some of my suggested titles:

Ziggurat
Illusions in Twilight
Veils of the Soul
A Storm of Darkness
Once There be Giants

I actually sent 14 titles, many of them variations on the above. It will be interesting to see how this develops. I'm really kind of hoping that one of these will spark something in someone else that will lead to an eventual title that I really like. Not to say that if one of the ones I submitted is chosen I won't end up liking it just fine. That's kind of what happened with Return of the Guardian-King. Where at first I was disturbed by the similarity to Tolkien's Return of the King, as time passed I grew more comfortable with it and it really seemed like the right title to end the series with.

Grace,
Karen

Jigsaw Puzzles and Empty Stages

From my nonstop as a part of today's writing efforts:

"I’m swimming around. I’m tumbling along in a washing machine. I don’t know what I’m doing. But from reading my previous writing journals this is common. This is usual, actually. I just did a provisional sketch of a scene I feel needs to be here, but… I don’t know how to integrate it. So right now it’s just there.

"The way I write just seems so wrong. Where’s the outline? Where’s the orderly forward momentum? Why is it so amorphous and confused? Why? Why? Why?

"I don’t know.

"One of the things that seems to be happening is that I write something in a sequence and then start breaking it up, inserting new parts, moving sections of the original further and further back.

"I’m kind of going through the scene and sequel cards I had made up and they seem to be fitting, sort of. I also have a list of plot events I want, but when I look at those I am dismayed because I’ve only managed to get two of them into the story so far. But maybe most of them occur at the story's end. And right now this story's end is far more in place that its soggy, wandery middle.

"I have lots of partial scenes and scraps. Do they go together or not? Aack! Why can't I decide?

"There is no need to freak out and get all agitated. God has everything under control. This is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle and all the pieces are here. Yes, there are parts of other puzzles mixed in, but eventually all of it will be sorted out and this picture come together. I know that is the case because God is behind it. God knows. I don’t. So I’ll just keep plugging. One word at a time. That’s really what it is, too. One word at a time."

But I am progressing, working on Chapter 17 now (and you might recall that at my last report I was on ch 14), with some of it already pulled out and held for chapter 18. I have too much plot, but that's standard for me. I read my journal entry for two years ago when I was working on RotGK and I was saying the same things. Too much plot. No direction. Elements floating around with no clear place to go.

Today I thought that perhaps having Quigley as a distraction isn't really going to make all that much difference since even if I was focusing all my attention on the book for eight hours a day, I still wouldn't have gotten any further.

Another analogy is that it's like I'm watching a darkened stage, waiting for the players and scenery to emerge from the draperies. So far nothing has emerged, though I hear snatches of conversations, rumblings and rustlings. Still, after awhile staring at the empty stage gets boring and I lose interest and so go off to something more entertaining. Which today, was play with Quigley (who was very good).

So today was a thinking and simmering day. And tomorrow? Who knows!

Grace,
Karen

Hand & Box Report

Last week I visited the hand specialist. He confirmed that I have trigger thumb and two triggering fingers on my right hand (my ring and index fingers), with the thumb being the worst. He said there's really no clear cause, and that while restricting activity and anti-inflammatories can help, they don't necessarily cure it.

I could have gotten a cortisone shot around the thumb tendon that day, but I had Quigley in the crate and didn't want to have my hand incapacitated for the rest of the day. Plus I wanted to see if the chondroitin and glucosamine would work. The bottle recommends you take three capsules for 1-2 months, so I'm waiting to see if there's improvement at the end of two months. It seems like there is some, but it's not dramatic by any means. And the fingers seem to change. One day the ring finger is triggering, the next day it's the index finger.

If it doesn't work out, I can call whenever I want to set up an appointment for an injection, and I don't have to worry about it spreading or getting so bad there's no hope but surgery. At least at this point.

It's not necessarily a repetitve injury related thing, though it can be. Or it can be from an injury to the base of the finger where the tendons have thickened. It can be related to another condition like arthritis or diabetes (I don't have either of those). More often it has no clear cause. It is more common in woman than men, and often begins between ages 40 and 60.

Dr. Margolis doesn't really recommend the chondroitin/glucosamine route, but he was fine with me waiting to see what would happen. He said that sometimes it just goes away by itself, too. Why do I suspect it might go away as soon as I have this draft finished?

Assuming I ever finish it, which at the rate things have been going seems doubtful. LOL. Not really. Today I woke up realizing that I had taken back Quigley's biting problem from the Lord and was trying to solve it myself again -- feeling like I had to constantly be interacting, watching him, dealing with the situation. But when you trust the Lord with all your heart (thinking) and do not lean on your own understanding, you aren't supposed to be thinking about the problem and what to do about it. You leave the problem to Him.

When I saw that I could just put the whole biting thing into His hands and leave it, and not feel like I have to take a puppy class, or some other class, or find the best solution, training tip, or be the best trainer, but could just leave it alone and let Him handle it -- in His time -- the peace returned. So that's how I'm dealing with it today. If he bites, I do the same things I've always done, but I'm not going to get into that place where I'm thinking I have to get it stopped NOW.

And today was great. He hardly made any skin-teeth contact at all. I actually had him outside quite a bit, too, so I got a lot of thinking work done on Box. I decided not to include a number of scenes I'd planned, rearranged chapters and a scene or two. I'm now working on chapter 14 again, but I've taking the second half of the old ch 14 out and put it in 15 and have a new scene I'm adding to the end of the new 14. Once finished, I can move on to 16, which is already sketched in, or maybe even 17, depending on how I'm led.

Tomorrow is another day.

Grace,
Karen

Light at the End of the Tunnel

Quigley was really good today. Well, most of today. With me, not our guest... but hey, he was so good about the biting that it's cause for rejoicing.

A friend emailed me the other day about another technique to use in providing negative consequence for his biting, and that's where you place your fingers in his mouth from the side, and squeeze the roof of his mouth and top of his nose at the same time. I saw one of the technicians do this at the vet's office last Saturday, but had never had it explained until my friend's email. It works well. Another tool in the box to use against the biting.

Besides that there is making the sharp, short "AAA!" sound when he touches me with his teeth, immediately stopping play and turning away, or leaving his presence altogether, holding his mouth closed, reminding him "no biting", sticking my finger in through the side of his mouth so I pull the cheek with it over his teeth -- he bites me, he bites himself. We also stick his ear into his mouth sometimes or his leg (he seems happy to chew on them as well) or give him a chew or toy.

It's rapid fire, constant, intense... but! We ARE making progress. Tooth/skin contact has been greatly reduced and when it is made, it's far gentler. So much so I almost don't notice it sometimes. He gets praise for when he jumps beside me rather than on me, praise for when he licks instead of bites, praise when he bites the toy instead of me... There is light at the end of the tunnel. I have no new blood wounds today.

I'm also seeing the biting as a form of interaction and communication. The barking, too, which seems to be gradually taking over from the biting -- a good thing! Increased tendancy to bite comes when he's tired, and today he barked at me to tell me he wanted to go out, or eat or get in his bed, instead of biting me.

In addition to some success on the Quigley front, there was also progress on the writing front. I'm writing again on Chapter 14 after several days of thinking about the outline. No, the rest of the book is not clearly outlined, but it is outlined. More or less. And this time I have a lot more confidence about what I'm doing and where I'm going with it all. So that's nice. Hopefully I continue to progress tomorrow.

I also brought Quigley into the office with me today, not the first time he's been in here, but the first time in a few weeks. He was too interested in exploring everything for me to really work. But hopefully in a few days he will be able to come in and be here with his chew while I type.

Grace,
Karen

Learning through Suffering

I saved this picture from the cover of Coonhound Bloodlines magazine, the December 1996 edition. It's watercolor for one, and it depicts my favorite dogs for another. Redbone Coonhound puppies are soooooo cute! This is pretty much what Quigley looks like now. When we take him to the vet, technicians have to come out to see him and pet him and coo over him.

Today was a good day. I got to go to church, Quigley was good, and my car is finally fixed. Hurray! Thursday was not good. I went on the internet and read about dog training. Pretty much everything I could find advocated "gentle, positive methods of training" where you never reprimand your dog, only find ways to redirect him so you can praise him, where you never make your puppy feel uncomfortable obeying you, or, it would seem in any of his interactions with you. As for biting, said one article, if your puppy bites hard enough to break the skin you have an aggressive dog and had better see a veterinarian behavior specialist to evaluate as soon as possible.

I was freaked. Looking back, I just want to slap myself upside the head and ask, "What were you thinking???" Everytime I go on the internet I learn stuff that freaks me out and turns out not to even be valid or relevant to my situation.

I tried some of their advice and it only made things worse. Quigley needs more than "Just leave the room for a minute when he puts teeth to your skin." Let's see, I'd be like a jumping bean, going in and out of the room every other minute. Quigley's kind of like an eel. At a certain point when you're petting him his mouth flies open and never closes as it swings back and forth after your hands... and he's sooo fast. Teeth are touching skin before you can even register it happened.

Well, so many things happened this weekend, that I'd be here all night, but the upshot of it was I realized I've been obsessing over the dog. Again. Instead of sitting back and trusting the Lord to handle things, I was thinking about the problem, trying to figure out what to do about it, and going to the world to look for a solution. Today I decided, Phooey. Back to business as usual, so much as I can. The Lord will have to protect Quigley from his strange appetites (the roots of bermuda grass, rocks, charcoal, wood, pine cones, roofing materials, weeds, leaves, sticks and anything else that comes into the yard) and He will be the one to fix him, not me. I will do what I do, what I'm led to do, what I've done with the past five dogs we've raised... Jake, Grumpy, Sam, Boomer, Bear...

It occured to me in Bible class the evening of the day I read all that stuff on the internet... Jesus learned obedience through the things that He suffered. We learn obedience through suffering. In fact, we often learn things through suffering we could never learn by any other way. The Lord sometimes deliberately puts us through it (this has all been in current Bible classes) so we can be alone with Him and learn things about ourselves and about Him.

Suffering is not a bad thing, through our society has made it seem so. People are constantly trying to make sure nothing bad ever happens to anyone. No one should ever suffer pain, mishap, injury, accident, disease, illness, being offended.

Last year in our hundred year old Rodeo Parade, a five year old girl riding in the parade was killed when horses pulling a wagon behind her bolted and ran over her and her horse. It was a tragedy, but the little girl did know how to ride, so it wasn't totatlly unreasonable for her to be in the parade (though she was under age according to the rules). She'd been around horses all her life and everyone knows when you deal with horses, these things occasionally happen. Horses are big and stupid (though not as stupid as sheep, I will point out!) and they have a lot of strength and speed. People get hurt. Horses get hurt. Yet what was the unending refrain on every newscast relating to this story? "What can we do to make sure this never happens again?" "We must work hard to make sure this never happens again." "H0w could this possibly have happened?!"

I use this just as an example of how accidents are treated. Horror! Shock! The sense that no one should ever suffer anything under any circumstances. Yet that is not the Bible's view.

Well, anyway, I decided that if Jesus could learn through the things He suffered, if I could learn through the things I suffer (and, in fact, must with certain kinds of lessons), if my son learned obedience from the things he suffered, it doesn't seem like such a bad thing if the puppy has to learn things from suffering like all the rest of us. Of course by suffering I mean, reprimanding him, pushing him off the table when he jumps up to put his paws on it and see what he can steal, lifting my knee to bump his chest when he jumps up (more like hurls himself at me), telling him NO from time to time. It even means he can scream in his crate until he learns that he is not the only one who gets to decide when he's going to go into it.

And I will recall that I have a book to write, which I am called to do by the Lord Himself, and it takes precedence over the puppy.

Speaking of, I am currently engaged in trying to come up with a master outline. I have combined about four lists of events, plotlines and sequences into one master document (everything but the kitchen sink, it seems) and now have to make it coherent, logical and more streamlined. Not an easy task, but when it's done, I think I'll be able to write fairly smoothly, especially when I'm not requiring the writing to be anything but lousy!

Grace,
Karen

The Old Quigley Returns

Okay, yesterday really was a respite. The old Quigley returned today, full of spitfire and mischief. New skills: barking continuously as I cook anything, because he thinks it is for him and can't wait, and even if it's not for him, he wants it to be for him.

He also has diarrhea from the diet change, I think. Or maybe the edible nylabone, which we thought was fine, until I got a non-edible puppy nylabone today. I gave it to him and then noticed on the packaging that I was not to use the bone until I'd read the enclosed paper. Which warned against giving the new bone to a really strong puppy chewer. How are you supposed to know what a really strong puppy chewer is? It also gave information about all of the other nylabone products including the edible bones, which should never be given to dogs who don't have all their adult teeth because it's not suitable for the immature digestive systems of very young puppies. Swell. Is that why he has the diarrhea?

Okay, no one cares about this, but that's been part of my day. It means he has to go out a lot. It means I have to think about about why it's happening (food change, overeating, stress)

I did finish the first scene in chapter 14 and started thinking about the second and final scene in that chapter. I also listened to Quigley howl and scream in his crate during Bible class (when I had a friend over listening to class with me; he was fine last night when I did it alone. Naturally). Then after class, as I was making dinner he stood in the kitchen and barked incessantly, despite instruction not to. Finally I put him in his crate. Then he screamed and howled and barked and protested. At last he quieted and I let him out.

Stu came home, and the barking in the kitchen began again, combined with frantic jumping on the counter and chewing on the cabinet hardware, biting my clothes... So it was back to the crate for more screaming. I wore my earplugs and gritted my teeth. He quieted after only ten minutes or so...

It's amazing how nice and fun he can be for most of the day but around dinner time... the torture begins. Ah well. This too shall pass and soon he will be a big, grown up dog. I am making a point, despite all the puppy annoyances, of enjoying the things about puppies that I love. He will let me hold him and pet him for as long as I want earlier in the day. And he is still SOOO cute! Even when he's barking imperiously in the kitchen, or jumping up.

Okay, I am beat. Time for bed. But at least I got a post in, when I thought earlier I might not.

Have a great weekend,
Karen

A New Dog?

This morning I asked the Lord for a respite from my 16 hour focusing on the dog days. He answered. Quigley was soooo good today! He was like a different dog. I was concerned he might be ill, but he's eating and playing well, so I think not.

He's been really good about not biting, and stopping when I say no. He jumps beside me when I walk around the back yard, rather than on me. We just had a lot of fun today. One of the things I really enjoy is when I sit on the floor and he comes running over to get in my lap, or just hang over my leg and chew on whatever I give him to chew on. He seems to settle and I love to pet him. He's so soft and warm and puppy-ish.

My camera still labors to get good shots of him. In all three of these I've posted today, he's moving. In one, he was so cute lying there. Then I clicked the shutter and he started to bound up -- so his ear is flopping out in the exuberance of his movement!

I don't know that I've ever put so much of the dog training into the Lord's hands before. I don't know that I ever thought I could. But if something's big enough to worry about, it's big enough to put in His hands. I am so aware of what I don't know and how poorly I execute, but I know that He knows exactly what is needed. He also knows I'm not going to do everything right. Or even much of anything right. Or so it's felt from what I realize now is the old perfectionistic viewpoint.

Anyway, I'm not worrying about how he turns out, something that used to be a big concern for me. I'm not worrying about whether I do the right thing or not. God will show me what to do, and take up the slack for my bungling. I'm not even worrying about whether he eats something bad in the back yard, which is a fear this latest development has stirred. Helped along by the vet who said we should take all his blankets and stuffed toys away and ... and I don't know what. Lock him in the crate 24/7 until he stops trying to eat everything in his periphery? Phooey.

He's a dog. He's a hound. They eat weird things. God will have to take care of him, because I have a book to write, and can't be chasing the dog all over the yard trying to pry every little thing out of his mouth.

And today, he did a lot less of it. Today he seemed to understand that I don't want him to jump on the laundry basket and tip it over, spilling all the clothes onto the ground. And though he was tempted, he didn't do it. Today I left him for 20 minutes in his crate and went to the store. He was fine. I just can't get over how nice today was.

I even got a lot of work done on Black Box. I finished reworking the first half of ch 12 and started in on ch 14 -- did 6 pages. So I'm happy with that, too.

Oh, and I got an email about a blog post called "17 Ways to Stop Being a Perfectionist and Get More Done" (good timing there). I thought it was a good article. Most of it I've heard/read before, but it never hurts to be reminded, because it's a habit that is all too easily fallen back into. You can find that here.

And here's my last pic of Quigley, running toward me in response to my "Come" command. (He's also learned to "sit.")


Grace,
Karen

Trigger Fingers

Based on the number of hits the writing parts of my body are taking, I'm beginning to think I must be writing something really important in Black Box. Now, just as my left arm is finally getting to the point of being useful and not too troublesome, I find I've developed tendonitis in my right hand, particularly my thumb. I think it's from too much housework, too fast.

It's not the first time I've developed tendonitis from housework -- scrubbing the tub is something I have to do in parts or I'll get it in my elbow. I've also developed painter's elbow when I painted the outside of the house a few years back. This is the first time I've gotten it in my hands (and I do have it in both of them, though it's much worse in the right hand)

Too much squeezing and scrubbing led to my fingers growing stiff and painful. I can't make a fist. In the morning they are especially stiff, and when I try flex them and straighten them out they lock and then suddenly spring open. I researched it last night and discovered this is called trigger finger or trigger thumb. And I have it in my thumb, as well as the fingers, and lately it's been worst of all, because when it "springs open" it sends a sharp pain through my thumb and palm. It's also visibly swollen.

It's officially called tenosynovitis and involves the inflammation of the tendons and sheath around the tendons, which prevents them from flexing open smoothly. The treatment? Advil. Ice and... of course... immobilization. They advise a splint. I'm just trying not to do anything. It's been going on for about a month, and seems to be getting worse, so finally I went to the Internet and realized I really have to stop doing everything. Which is what I've done today. I thought I'd give it a couple of days of the above treatment, and if it doesn't get better I guess I'll have to see a hand surgeon. I can't open bottles, turn faucets, door handles, locks, open the car door, or turn on the ignition. I can type, but I feel I need to do so on a limited basis because I can't always tell while I'm doing something if that's going to bother the thumb or not. Writing longhand is definitely problematic. (Does that mean I should just sit down and start typing out scenes and stop making notes?)

Sheesh! What a crazy year. But as with all the rest of it, I know this is the Lord's problem not mine. If He wants me to write, He'll have to work all this out.

Grace,
Karen

Zoolights

The local Reid Park Zoo, which is not far from our house, sponsors a zoolights program each year around the holidays. They decorate the zoo with lights, trees, blow up Santas, bears and snowmen and invite the public in to stroll about after dark. The animals, of course, are all in their beds.

On members' nights, they also provide entertainment -- quartets of singers, choirs, a jazz band, a harpist and, our favorite, a steel drum group. They serve hot chocolate and cookies, have a snow machine set up and the kids can visit Santa. My mother and I have gone every year for a long time. In years past when they sponsored group-decorated Christmas trees, our homeschool group participated, and I was the leader of that project. It was a lot of fun.

I took the camera tonight and got some not so great pictures, though they capture the feel of the event. At right is a picture of the long line of trees along one of the zoo's paths, their lights reflecting in the water of the elephants' pond in the foreground.

Today was the first since the Tuesday before Thanksgiving that I got any work at all in on Black Box. I don't know what happened, but though I tried Monday and Tuesday, I could not get myself to work. It was one thing distracting me after another.

But today was good, and I'm hoping tomorrow will be, too.

Grace,
Karen

Goal Work

I'm pleased to report that I finished Chapter 10 on Friday! Hooray. On Saturday I pulled out all my notes on the next possible scene. I'm still wrestling with how to assign myself good, attainable goals, especially when things are as amorphous as they are now. One thing I've thought is that I will try to work for three hours every day on the book.

Another thought I've had is to break the book down into sections, like Flylady's zones, where you work on each room/chapter for a specified period of time (say a week) and when the time is up you move on, knowing you'll come back to it later. In the case of the house zones, they repeat every month. In the case of the book's chapters... well, coming back to them could be when I go through the next draft. Probably in a couple of months.

It sounds good on paper. I'm not sure I can do it, though. I'm pretty sure I could start out writing something and making myself stop at week's end. What I'm not sure of is whether I could keep going with it. When I've tried this in the past I've eventually run into a wall where no matter what I did I couldn't write. Or if I wrote it bored me to tears.

I see I shall have to work on this...

Oh, and I touched base with my editors at Bethany House on Friday and I have a new deadline: March 31, 2008 with a planned release in the Spring of '09. That's a whole year and a half away. Which is nice -- it gives me time to work, where I haven't had that in awhile!

Grace,
Karen

Halfway There

I've been really tired the last couple of days. And also really busy with various pursuits. Which is why there was no blog post yesterday. I see my orthopedic surgeon tomorrow -- the one month follow up. In preparation, the physical therapist measured my range of movement and we compared it to his original measurements. I've made decent progress and am about halfway there on the waving/flapping motion with my hand, and maybe not quite halfway on the twisting/rotating motion (twisting your arm so your palm faces up or down -- facing up is the hardest and the one with the least progress)

Between the visiting dog, interrupted sleep, various chores needing doing, the increased number of arm stretching sessions, errands and appointments, I haven't had more than a hour 0r so a day to focus on Box. Tomorrow doesn't look much better but I might be surprised. I'm off the skyscrapers, and have made the relevant decisions about my building. For one thing, I intend to abide by Connie Willis's advice to research and work out no more of the details of your background than you really need. I'm not writing a novel about constructing a building, after all...

The latest area of inquiry is what life is like for a postdoc (and what exactly a postdoc is) and in a research institute. Yesterday I overwhelmed myself with the vastness of my ignorance. Today I remind myself that I am not writing about life as a postdoc or in an institute, either. It's good to keep the goal before me. Also, the Lord knows exactly what I'll need to know and I'm going to trust Him to guide me in that pursuit.

To that end I started reading Michael Crichton's Next which I just picked up from the library yesterday. Already I've learned about dewars (steel thermoses you fill with liquid nitrogen to transport embryos) and cytokines, got reminded of venture capitalists and the biotech world and, having been slogging through a fairly boring biblical novel (a different one from the one I talked about a few posts ago), am quite pleased to be carried along again.

But I still think I'll be going to bed shortly after this is posted. And after I ice my arm one last time...

Grace,
Karen

Blowin' in the Wind

"Your soda is sloshing in the cup. The hanging lamp over the table is swaying like a pendulum. You're beginning to feel a little seasick. Are you in a boat on rough seas? Nope, just on the top floor of a skyscraper on a windy day."

"On very windy days, the building sways...the corner columns creak and groan... and my windowpane flaps and vibrates so alarmingly that I abandon my office." -- Tenant, Sears Tower, Chicago, IL

--From Skyscrapers by Carol A. Johmann

I'd heard about the fact that skyscrapers sway a bit in the wind, but I was... ahem... blown away to read that your soda would slosh in its cup and you might actually feel as if you were at sea. Wow. The book says that skyscrapers are actually designed to sway no more than their height in feet divided by 500. Which means the taller of the two World Trade Center Towers (yes, this book was written before 9-11) could and did sway 3 feet in all directions at the top.

My building in Black Box is not going to be a skyscraper, but it is going to have an atrium and it's going to be unusual, so I needed to know if it was even possible. I think it is, and I'm glad not to have to deal with swaying in the wind -- it's only going to have ten stories. I also learned about how they have to keep water tanks on the tops of very tall skyscrapers for fire fighting, since even the longest firetruck ladders only reach about the tenth floor.

My institute is ten floors but it's out in the middle of nowhere, so it probably needs some water tanks on the upper floors, too. Which has given me an idea for a lake and a garden on the ninth... or maybe eighth floor. That should be fun. I wonder if I do that, does it mean there has to be a flood sometime in the book? ...ooh. When I put it that way, given this story's Noahic underpinnings, I suppose it's almost inevitable. But we'll see...

Have a great weekend,
Karen

Skyscrapers, Therapy and a Bird

Well, I ended up just too tired to do a post yesterday. Oh well. Today I worked on making a map for my research institute campus. I also have to decide on how the main building is constructed and do some floor plans. As I was progressing through the chapters I was jumping all over the place (Lacey's room is first in the basement, then on the third floor, then the fourth...) and I realized that if I didn't stop and take care of these details now, it was only going to get worse, probably to the point where no one would be able to find all the inconsistencies before the book went to print.

To that end I went to the library and checked out books on skyscrapers -- mostly I was looking for information about what their basements were like, but as usual I've learned lots of other interesting things that are helping me with the building design in general. I also made a campus map, using the information I've already set down in the book combined with a few borrowed features from an old map of the Biosphere2 property.

Besides that I had another physical therapy session today, during which I was given some silly putty like stuff to take home to squeeze and pinch. Since I'm having less problems with the swelling, we're getting a little more aggressive on the exercises -- bending my wrist down, then up, then rotate right and left -- and he increased my daily sessions from three times a day to five or more.

Finally, I received in an email the following link of a dancing bird. I enjoyed it so much I thought I'd share it. It was posted on another blog (for bird rescue) and is accompanied by music from the Backstreet Boys. Enjoy.

http://birdloversonly.blogspot.com/2007/09/may-i-have-this-dance.html

Karen

Moving Forward

Today marks two weeks since I've had the cast off. My arm is still an almost constant annoyance -- aching, twinging, being weird -- and not regaining its range of motion nearly as fast as I expected, but it is improving. And my expectations, I realize now, were worthless, based as they were on my total ignorance of this rehabbing process.

But every day I can do a little bit more, and I'm content. One cool thing to come out of all this is that I now have a night time brace for my right hand and a nifty little "smart" glove with ergo beads to keep my right wrist in proper position while typing to prevent the carpal tunnel syndrome from revving up. And of course, I have the speech recognition, as well.

And I'm also making progress on Black Box. Not a lot, but I'm still feeling utterly relaxed about it, knowing that the Lord is going to see it through. I worked in some changes on Chapter 7 today, and have come to the realization that I have GOT to make some maps, so I'll probably be doing that Friday or Saturday, if I have time. I have to go in for another physical therapy session Friday afternoon, plus do my home exercises in the morning, so I can get in two sessions for the day. That's good for eating up about three hours at least...

Anyway, my hands are getting tired of typing here (speech recognition can be quite cranky and stop working for no apparent reason, which it did when I was trying to dictate this post) so I'll say good night and toddle off to ice my arm.

Have a great weekend!
Karen

Therapy

I went for my second therapy session yesterday. My physical therapist (Jeff) first had me put my arm in a tank of melted paraffin. That was pretty cool -- er -- hot, actually. But when I pulled my arm out and had a wax hand, that was cool. Then he wrapped it in plastic wrap, then some kind of quilted thingie that had been heating in a steam bath and finally a blanket. Then I sat there for a bit and let it all sink in. That was the good part.

After everything was nice and warm, he took it all off, including the paraffin, and started cranking on my arm. The two places with the most limited range of movement are bending my hand back from the wrist, and trying to turn it over, palm up with elbow locked at the waist. Even with lots of work and pressure, the muscles/tendons hardly gave at all in either area. Progress is minimal. And of course my wrist, which doesn't care for such abuse, tends to swell and ache in reaction afterward. I do have a brace, but Jeff recommended I use it as little as possible.

At the moment, my most regular use of it is in the middle of the night, when I wake up to a throbbing wrist and grope around in the dark for the brace. Putting it on brings swift relief and I fall back to sleep until morning, when I take it off again.

The whole process has made me think of things spiritual and how much time, teaching and pressure it takes to transform us. How so often in our lives we see no progress at all, even as we know that God is at work in us. Staring at my stubborn wrist, especially when I'm trying to pull it around palm up, and seeing such resistance, seeing maybe a hair's breadth worth of movement, is a great visual aid to compare with things invisible.

And what of Black Box?, some ask. It's coming along slowly (I finished going through chapter 3 and making changes today), but I am not in the least alarmed. I just feel very calm, very placid, very much at peace about it all. It will get done in the right time. And I am no longer interested in stressing out about it.

So many things have happened lately in my life that have shown me that God really is in control of every little detail, I can hardly think otherwise. Relax, He has been telling me, and let life come to you. I have everything under control. The only thing you need to fear is not entering into the rest I've designed for you to live in. I've really seen it as a choice, and more than that. I've come to the realization that nothing the world has to offer is worth giving up this peace. Yeah, maybe I'll be so relaxed that I won't get the book out "in time" (whatever that is) and lose readers. But you know what? I no longer care. I'd rather have the peace.

Grace,
Karen
PS. The picture is of one huge, 4-parted kite that we saw on our beach walk in Oregon. It was cool, and reminds me of resting and relaxing... so I put it up. The biggest one on the bottom spun in the wind

New Review & BHP tips

A new and nifty review of Return of the Guardian King is up at Christian Activities.com. You can find that here. What a nice present to start out the fall.

Also, every other month or so Bethany House sends me an envelope with advertising and publicity material produced for my titles. This is not usually a very thick envelope, alas and in the cover letter they always include some marketing tips for the month. I don't think the marketing tips are included specifically because there isn't a lot of stuff in the envelope, but I could be wrong. :-)

This month's tips concern reader reviews at Amazon.com, Barnesandnoble.com and christianbook.com. "If a reader lets you know that they enjoyed your book," says the BHP letter, "ask them to consider submitting a short review at one of the sites. As a first priority, encourage them to post at Amazon since it has become the top site for book-buying research, but it's very helpful at the other sites as well."

Bethany House has also developed a page on their website which they intend to continually update with simple ways readers/friends can help promote books they particularly like. If you're interested in seeing what they've come up with, click here.


With Tuesday being day 2 on my countdown to cast removal, my wait is now almost over. Only one day left. Hooray! I know the bones have healed to a large degree because there is so much more I can do now that I couldn't do only a few weeks ago. I have more strength in my fingers and the most pain I have seems to come from pressure spots inside the cast where my hand bumps it when I try to do things. (Like type, for example -- which I'm doing now.)

I also made some decent progress on Black Box, which surprised me. And I'm staying with the relaxed mental attitude about it all! Yay!

Grace,
Karen

Healing

Another day of healing. Another day to find some new small thing I can do because the pain is less and the bones are stronger. There are still plenty of things I can't do, but I'm really starting to get the importance of focusing on the positive and forgetting about the negative.

For example... yesterday I was starting to get restless with how much I was having to lie around and do nothing -- even reading was difficult since the books I wanted to read are too big to handle one-handed while lying flat on one's back with an arm & pillow on one's chest. Then I remembered: lying around and letting my mind wander is exactly what I need to do to work on the book! And I won't get carpal tunnel doing it.

So today I welcomed the time to lie still and watch my penguin mobile and the mental blankness began to give way to small thoughts, ideas and snatches of dialog as more and more things came together. I'm almost ready to start rewriting Chapter 9, I think.

Also, I noticed overall today a dramatic decrease in the swelling of my arm and the attendant pain and discomfort that comes with it, which removed a lot of distraction.

Grace,
Karen