The Puppy We Wanted

It's been awhile since I said anything about Quigley. How's he doing? He's improved A LOT. In fact, since the weekend when I truly gave it over to God, and quit thinking this was something I had to figure out and do right, much has changed. My husband said after the first week that he thought we'd finally gotten the puppy we wanted rather than the tasmanian devil doggie we got. (Sorry, Aussie Fletchers, but really, it fits.) He still wants to bite things, and he goes through phases where he gets REALLY excited and falls into shark mode -- or is it tassie devil mode? -- his gaping mouth darting wildly back and forth... Here is a picture of a real tasmanian devil and its mouth looks just like Quigley's! Except it's still, of course.

But he's controlling himself more and more. Many times he confines himself to licks rather than the teeth.

For the most part he does fine in the crate, and we've started taking him on evening walks. Stu holds the leash, because we haven't yet taught him not to pull on it as he forges ahead. Though as the walk progresses he does that less and less. I've taught him to sit, lie down, stay (30 seconds is his tops) come and most recently, shake.

He's still absolutely horrid when people come over. He goes completely bananas, dribbles pee in his excitement and throws himself at the end of the leash if he's on one (or against the fence or barrier if he's behind one), trying to get at the person. Stu and I are using the knee trick when he hurls himself at us, but you have to get the timing right because he does it fast and hard, and guests can't be expected to have to do that. From there he goes into the flying mouth stage, and eventually, if the person stays long enough, calms down enough they can pet him.

I've been hiding treats for him to find in the yard and throwing the ball for him daily, plus bringing him into the house midday to give him practice lying on his bed quietly or with a chew rather than attacking and humping it. (I put away the new fleece bed, and brought out an old, but still in good shape twill bed and that seems to work better)

I have no new wounds today, and have had very few for a couple of weeks. Those I have sustained, I got when I was doing weird things with him -- throwing a ball, working with the grooming glove (which for some reason he is convinced he must attack and bite), etc. So, overall things are settling down. But he is still a huge distraction to my simply focusing on writing Black Box... er... The Enclave...

He is, as my husband says, "a whole lot of dog." I found an article on redbone coonhounds on Wikipedia that agreed. It said redbones "are very affectionate, but can be overwhelming to small children or even adults if not properly trained." Also, "young coonhounds are energetic (ROTFL) and need lots of activity, or they will become destructive. This can lead to acting out in the form of chewing and baying. They take a longer time to train than some other breeds, because they mature more slowly both physically and mentally."

"Like many hunting dogs, they have an independent intelligence especially well suited for problem solving. This can be an issue if the problem they want to solve is their backyard fence or the dog-proof garbage."

And finally, "They are all loud, loud barkers."

Oh, amen to that. Now that we have Quigley I think I might have to attribute some of my hearing loss to living with Bear. And Quigley's not helping. And to think I worried about having a silent coonhound. If you want to read more about the breed, the link to the article is HERE.

Grace,
Karen

10 Proofs of the Resurrection

The body of evidence for the actuality of the Resurrrection of our Lord can be grouped into 14 categories of proof. Below are ten of them:

1. Jesus Christ predicted it would happen.

2. He really died and was buried in a known, accessible tomb (He was put to death by professional executioners who knew what they were doing and were expert in making sure their charges were dead. Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea certainly thought He was dead and spent a lot of time preparing His body for burial. His enemies in Mt 27:62-64 believed he was dead, and feared that the disciples would take away the body, thus they established elaborate security measures to guard it.

3. The facts of the empty tomb (known and accessible) and the condition of the grave clothes.

4. The post Resurrection appearances of Christ. He appeared for a period of 40 days to many different people. On one occasion to at least 500.

5. The tacit recognition of the resurrection by His enemies. Powerful people in Jerusalem had participated in His execution and certainly would not want stories of His resurrection getting out. They had the ability to take action, to access to the tomb, the witnesses, etc. If it was a hoax, surely they'd have been able to prove that.

6. The character of the witnesses to the resurrection.

7. The dramatic change in disciples after the resurrection. Peter went from denying the Lord and hiding in the upper room, to literally getting in Pharisee's faces: "Let it be known to all of you (Annas and Caiaphas and others), and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead...He is the stone which was rejected by you, the builders, but which became the very cornerstone. And there is salvation in no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved". Acts 2:10-12

8. The origin and perpetuation of the Christian church. (ie that it was started in hostile territory, Jerusalem, where everyone would know if the resurrection was a hoax.)

9. The persecution of the disciples (why continue to proclaim a lie in the face of continued persecution? And if the persecuting authorities had any evidence this was a lie, why not just produce it?)

10. None of the apostles recanted their claim the resurrection was true, though most of them died violent deaths for their beliefs. And they died alone, when they could have recanted without the others' knowledge and lived. None did.

Unexpected Research

Tuesday I applied the principles I've been posting about this week. I came into the office, rebounded, asked for guidance, thought maybe I'd start by tidying up my desk and then reading what I'd written the day before. And somehow, I'm not sure how, I ended up going through my collected articles on evolution, then reading some material online and...I spent pretty much all day on it. Not at all what I thought I'd be doing, but it's changed the direction in which I was planning on going with the scene I'm facing. I'm not sure exactly where I'm headed now, just not where I had planned. I am confident, however, that the book will be better for it.

I am also pretty blown away by some of the things I read. But more on that next week.

Grace,
Karen

More Disciplined

So what, I wonder, does the "more disciplined" I harangued myself with yesterday look like?

Not reading blogs? Not playing with the dog? Not… what? No housecleaning? No writing in the journal? No Bible class? That’s ridiculous.

There is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.

Am I condemning myself here? Or is this the Holy Spirit? I think it’s my sin nature because there’s fear and urgency connected to it:

You’ve GOT to get more work done! That deadline is approaching and you’re nowhere near done. You have been undisciplined and bad and you need to work harder and stop being so distracted. This all depends on you. Yeah, fine to trust God, but you have to set your behind down in the chair and write.

Do I? This all sounds more like the legalistic, old sin nature-taskmaster than the grace and mercy of God. The Holy Spirit convicts rather than condemns. When He’s done, you feel good, you know what you’ve done wrong clearly and what to do about it. Condemnation from the sin nature just leaves you feeling rotten.

And what about that dead, blank-headed time when the creative part is working behind the scenes?

What about God revealing the story in His timing and not mine? What about me waiting on Him? Being patient. Not striving, just confident that He will move me as I need moving. Sometimes reading blogs and such sparks an idea… so it’s not always bad.

Striving, self-condemnation, anxiety, getting all afroth with impatience and worry… It doesn’t look by sight that I will ever finish on time, that this will ever work out… But that’s just the kind of situation God likes to put His children in, because we’re not supposed to be walking by sight but by faith. I think this must be a really hard lesson for me to get, because I keep going back over and over it.

It really is diametrically opposed to the world’s way and to the sin nature’s way -- to just relax and rest and trust God to move me at the appropriate time and in the appropriate ways to get the work done He wants done. His plan, not mine. His work, not mine.

There’s always time to do the Will of God.

Grace,
Karne

Undicsiplined Lout

From a Nonstop I did a couple weeks ago, in the throes of blankness:

Lord, I need your help! I’m totally confused, I don’t know where to go, I’m starting to get antsy and uneasy because time is passing faster than pages are accruing and even though yes, it’s come together before, the last time was so hard and so bad and I hate having to do that to my editor and everyone else. I want to be responsible and reliable, not the temperamental, undisciplined artiste who can’t meet her deadlines.

If I can't, then I gain a reputation as a sluggard and a person with no discipline which could well be the truth. It may be I don’t have discipline. But if I need discipline, what am I to do about it? Why can’t I make myself… hmmm...

Make myself. Lord, do you even want me to make myself set a time and get my butt in here at that time and write nonstops? I could do that. To a point. Until my shoulder starts hurting, which it is starting to now. So I just can’t go on and on and on.

And now I wonder, is all this idleness and distraction part of the process? After all it’s always been like this. For thirty years of writing it's been like this. Of course, maybe I’ve always been undisciplined. Or maybe… the whole creative function won't be controlled. I wish I knew what I was to do.

Don’t compare yourself.
In whatever you do, do it heartily, as unto the Lord.

Okay, yeah, I get that. But… how do I do that with this? What does "heartily" look like? Reading a bunch of stuff, making a bunch of notes, then making an outline from the notes, based on which event follows which, and finally sitting down and just writing it out from the notes? That’s the way I learned to write papers for school.

But this isn’t like that. I don’t really know how all the pieces of this book fit together. I don't think I even have all the pieces yet. And I can’t just go read and collect a bunch of facts to put into my book.

Furthermore, if I stop and look back, I see that there are lots of reasons why I am where I am right now. I have had a lot of distractions.

In March last year, when I began writing this book, my hard drive crashed and I had to get a new computer. Simultaneously, my glasses didn’t work for about three weeks and I kept having to drive across town to the eye doctor.

In April I had the blog tour for RotGK, where there were interviews and blog posts to write and comment on. All told, it took about three weeks of my time.

In May… I got the royalty statement and realized that Legends of the Guardian King was not going to be the wild success I’d hoped and dreamed for.

In June I broke my leg.

In July I recovered, sitting about with my leg elevated (which is not easy to do while at the computer).

August 1, I broke my arm and lay around on the couch with my arm elevated for six weeks straight. I read a lot but did no real writing.

In September I went to a Bible conference, got my cast off, and started therapy.

In October I continued therapy and tried to start functioning again – catching up on all the dirt and dust and mildew that had taken over the house during the summer when I was lying on the couch with my arm elevated.

In November the trigger finger problem began, and troubles with my shoulder. I had to learn keyboard techniques to avoid the mouse.

In December it's always crazy, we were out of town for a week and my shoulder really started hurting whenever I tried to use the computer.

In January we had our Arizona Bible Conference and got Quigley, the Tasmanian devil doggie. And my car broke.

In February I was still dealing with Quigley, while the trigger finger worsened.

So yeah, there’ve been a lot of distractions. That tells me this book is important spiritually speaking, but that doesn’t tell me if I’m out of line for not being more disciplined, even if I don’t know what “more disciplined” looks like.

Grace,
Karen

Peace and contentment

Continuation of the early March journal entry I posted in Constantly Vigilant, this part written at the end of the same day:

Quigley had another great day. I just decided to stop trying to figure out all the timing and arrange everything around him, and just put him in the crate when I needed to go somewhere. If he howled, oh well. So I went to the store and to the Y. And it was fine...

Bible class was great -- echoes and refinements of my conclusions this morning (see Constantly Vigilant below). Pastor is teaching on Abram and how he had to go "to a land which I will show you." He was given a general direction, but no specifics, and especially no specifics of blessing. "There are many commands we must obey without God telling us what type of blessings we'll receive if we do."

We desire happiness, peace and contentment. We think success (or marriage or a nice house or good kids or a well-behaved dog or...?) will provide it. So we want success (or the other things). We pray for it, strive for it. But success doesn't give happiness, peace and contentment. Nor do any of those other things. They're all time-oriented and therefore transitory. None are things we can control, but things God gives or takes.

Success can be taken. (Shaken?) So by definition, it cannot give peace and contentment because at the back of your mind will always be the sense that you could lose it. And if circumstances come where it appears you will lose it, goodbye peace.

Peace and contementment have to come from something stable and eternal and unchanging. Like God. Like His word. Like the fact that He is for me, not because of me, but because I received His perfect righteousness at salvation and will never lose it. When He looks at me, that's what He sees. He will never leave me or forsake me. He will provide my needs, because He has promised and He cannot lie. He loves me. He blessed me in eternity past. I can't begin to imagine the blessings that he has for me. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. He's omnipotent, wise, cannot make a mistake, never wavers, never wanders, never for a moment loses control of the situation. All my problems have perfect solutions.

Let me say that again: ALL my problems have PERFECT solutions. In Him. I am nothing. I can do nothing. But so what? He does it all.

Grace,
Karen

Constantly Vigilant

From an early March journal entry:

10:30 am Today, so far, I've been constantly upset by things not going as I'd like them to go. Then I stop and think... but it's God's will and God's plan that matters. I serve Him, not myself. I'm here to bring glory to Him, not achieve my goals.

I think of Autumn Lightning (The Education of an American Samurai" by Dave Lowry), which I read some years ago. The samurai student had to constantly be on the alert, never knowing when the master would attack or set someone upon him -- in bed, walking down the hall, even on the toilet. No place was out of bounds. This is how you must be when at war, when you are a man-at-arms. You're trained to use your weapon for defense, thus you must always be ready to use it.

How like the Christian Way of Life, where we are soldiers in a war, too. (2 Ti 2:4) The weapon, of course, is God's word. And the attacks come at the master's behest for our benefit, to train us and make us stronger, quicker and more solid in our use of our weapon. They mostly are the small things in life. Things not going your way. The dog steals a sock when you're hanging out the laundry, then rips it in the ensuing tug of war as you try to get it back. People change schedule without notice and now all the things you'd planned to do, you can't. Distractions pile up until the morning's gone and you didn't get a lick of writing done...

But it's always your plan that's being thwarted, never God's. And this stuff isn't even suffering for His sake (Phil 1:29). It's just things not going your way. The kingdom of darkness will set up situations to get you out of fellowship. To get you to worry, to feel condemned and guilty and now, in my case... to get me mad and frustrated. For so long it's been fear and approbation lust I've had to deal with. Now we're moving into power lust as God probes ever deeper, challenging and grinding and stripping away the layers of arrogance.

So again, the thing to focus on is that it's God's plan, not mine. His plan moves on. My plan is nothing. My goals for the day don't matter at all in comparison to me staying in fellowship. And His goals for my day are unknown when I start out. I don't know what His plan is until I see it unfold. Because of that, I must trust Him continually, moment by moment, always getting my thoughts off myself and my situation and bringing them back to Him.

Which is exactly where He wants them.

Grace,
Karen

New Title is Official (I think)

My work in progress, Black Box, now has a new title, courtesy of Bethany House's Vice President of Marketing.

You might remember that I submitted 14 possible alternative titles to BHP a week or so ago. The editors and others batted those titles around and came up with a short list for me to review. From that list I sent back the ones I liked best in order of preference. They were:

This Dark Illusion
The Institute
The Enclave
The Longevity Code

I said I'd go with any of them. Because This Dark Illusion had been the one the editors thought sounded best and fit the story best, and because I agreed, I'd kinda settled into that being the final choice. Which shows the foolishness of settling on anything until it's settled.

After input from the head of marketing, Black Box will henceforth be known as

The Enclave

I think I can see why. This Dark Illusion is kind of vague. More artsy than The Enclave. The Institute is really pretty generic. There are probably a lot of other books, or at least places in books called "The Institute". The Longevity Gene is something that would get lost in other longevity books. It also sounds like it could be a science text. Of them all The Enclave is the most accessible and visual, while being somewhat intriguing as well. At least that's my assessment. But really, what do I know? Only that readers do indeed judge books both by their covers and their titles!

Grace,
Karen
P.S. Oh, my goodness. There really are a lot of Longevity books when you look it up on Amazon. Most are health books and one is even called The Longevity Code: Your Personal Prescription for a Longer, Sweeter Life.

Masdar -- Dharma

Yesterday's blog included an embedded YouTube video -- first time I ever tried it on Blogger and while it worked online, I wasn't sure what would happen when it went out through the Feedblitz email. Sure enough, the email I got this morning did not include the video because I don't have Active X something or other installed or functioning (and don't want to). If that happened to you and you'd like to see the creepy promo video for "The Masdar Initiative," you'll have to go to the blog itself.

This morning I figured out one of the reasons the name "The Masdar Initiative" and logo are so creepy to me. To any Lost fans out there: Isn't it an awful lot like "The Dharma Initiative?" Just add an s and switch the syllables and you've got "Masdar." (okay and take away the h, but you don't pronounce that) The Masdar logo is even vaguely reminiscent of the Dharma one. Is this a coincidence?

I doubt the Masdar people copied Lost, but maybe the Lost people copied Masdar... nah, probably not. (though I just read of two actual incidents in the non fiction book I'm reading now (The Biotech Century) which Michael Crichton used to model plot elements in his genetics gone awry novel Next after.) Anyway, according to Wikipedia, Dharma means the "underlying order in nature and life (human or other)...which makes the cosmos and the harmonious complexity of the natural world possible."

Spiritually it's said to refer to the 'right way of living', 'proper conduct', 'duty' or 'righteousness'. Which really kind of fits with the whole Masdar thing, especially if you look at it from the "environmentalism as religion standpoint." Living in Masdar will save the world, save mankind, be the pure and pious thing to do. Yuck. Masdar, by the way, is Arabic for "source." That's creepy, too. Especially as it echoes the "order that makes the natural world possible" part of dharma.

And since the source of all things is God, who is the source and orderer who makes the natural world possible... these both seem like words that express kingdom of darkness sorts of concepts.

Enough of the creepiness. I am working on chapter 19 of my newly titled book today (having skipped over chapter 18). Didn't get very far. Lots of sitting and staring and shuffling of notes. Or maybe I did get far, I just can't tell.

Tomorrow: the new title.

Grace,
Karen

The Masdar Initiative

Oh my. The following video about Abu Dhabi's planned supercity, The Masdar Initiative, is SO CREEPY! Such a clear indication of living in the end times. Remember the Anti-Christ is supposed to rule out of Babylon, which is not all that far away. Of course there's all the global warming stuff, and the international cooperation stuff, and the glory of man stuff... but even beyond that everything about this city and its plans just screams enslavement. Think about living in such a place, think about the rules there would HAVE to be. Think about the capacity to be watched and how well the mark of the Beast would fit into the whole thing...

Even the name and the music accompaniment are creepy!






Karen

A New Interview

Well, I've been seriously remiss in keeping up to date with Interviews, reviews, etc. Perhaps that's because the notice that this interview had been posted came during Christmas when I was caught up in the delusion that any day I was going to have time to deal with it, because after all, we didn't have the puppy yet, I wasn't up against a close deadline and... who knows? But it slipped out of the frame on my inbox into dreaded out of sight/out of mind land.

Recently I've been culling emails and it fell back into view.

Embarrassment! But better late than never and we are just about at the the one year anniversary of the release of Return of the Guardian King. So, without further ado, there's an Interview up at Australian Narelle Mollet's blog, Relz Reviewz Her questions include Why Christian Fiction? Why Christian Fantasy? If the series was made into a movie, who would you cast? What impact do you hope these books have upon the reader? And, Would you taste Vegemite if given the opportunity? Stop by for a read, and unlike with my blog, you can leave a comment if you wish. (And thanks, Rel, for putting the Interview up)

I believe I have a couple more interviews to do, and I'm afraid to look at how long it's been since I was asked to do them. Did you know that the closer you get to death, the faster time flies? LOL It's true, though.

Enjoy,
Karen

Poppies

The poppies are blooming! In some places, they carpet the desert with orange. Our skies are blue and clear. The breezes are gentle. The temps are in the mid to high 70s... It's dry and just wonderful to be outside. As one of my friends says, we live in paradise!

Have a great weekend

Karen

Dispatches from Iraq

I came across this essay from Victor Davis Hansen the other day called Dispatches from the Front, "a synopsis of dispatches from Iraq that appeared October 6-9, 2007, in Hansen's blog Works and Days." Hansen is a Senior Fellow at the Hoover Institution, Stanford University, a professor emeritus at California University, Fresno, and holds numerous other academic positions and accolades. He's also a prolific writer of articles, book reviews, scholarly papers, newspaper editorials and 16 nonfiction books on matters ranging from Greek and military history to contemporary politics and culture to farming. The latter because he was also once a full time farmer before heading up the classics department at Fresno.

These dispatches are very well written, with lots of information gleaned from Hansen's trip to Iraq last year, covering not only what is really going on over there, but what our fighting men are really like. For example, "Three weeks after I heard a formal lecture on the history of Vietnam presented by Col. H.R. McMaster, a Hoover research fellow, at Hillsdale College, I found myself being led by him in full combat gear through Anbar."

It's a long essay as Internet pieces go, but rich and worth the time. You might want to read it in two or three parts (which is what I did).

Here's how it starts:

From Ramadi to Taji and in various hot spots in Baghdad and Diyala province, almost all the Marine and Army units I visited expressed the belief that there has been a sudden, almost inexplicable shift in the pulse of the battlefield. Sometimes, with little warning, thousands of once-disgruntled Sunnis have turned against al Qaeda, ceased most resistance, and begun flocking to government security forces and begging the Americans to stop both al Qaeda and Shiite militias.

Read More

Enjoy!
Karen

A New Title

Last week my editor emailed to let me know that the title of my WIP (that's Work In Progress) could no longer be Black Box. Apparently another novel called Black Box was published by a Christian publisher in 2004. It didn't do so well (it had to do with airplane black boxes) and marketing is afraid booksellers and readers will get my new book confused with this older one. So I've spent the last few days coming up with some alternate titles.

As I did so I realized that Black Box really isn't a very good title. For one thing, your title should use fresh and lively words. "Black" and "box" are not exactly either. In fact, there are several other books named Black Box out there besides the one I just mentioned and I have to admit, looking at them the title seems rather dull. If you have no frame of reference... well, a black box is just not that interesting.

Yes, it works perfectly for my story if you actually know which black box I'm talking about -- not the one in an airplane, but the concept of a black box, which is a thing whose actions or output are known but the mechanics behind them are not. "Something that is mysterious, especially as to function." So many things in life are like that, from living cells at one time, to genetics, to aging, to the human soul, to many aspects of the spiritual life. It's a perfect concept, but...alas, since for most people this concept is not going to be the first thing they think of when they see Black Box on the cover of a book, not the perfect title.

But coming up with something better? I don't know. I made a list and sent it off. Perhaps nothing on it will be the actual title, but hopefully one of the titles I brainstormed will generate the one that ends up on the book. We'll see.

Wanna see the list?

Here is some of my suggested titles:

Ziggurat
Illusions in Twilight
Veils of the Soul
A Storm of Darkness
Once There be Giants

I actually sent 14 titles, many of them variations on the above. It will be interesting to see how this develops. I'm really kind of hoping that one of these will spark something in someone else that will lead to an eventual title that I really like. Not to say that if one of the ones I submitted is chosen I won't end up liking it just fine. That's kind of what happened with Return of the Guardian-King. Where at first I was disturbed by the similarity to Tolkien's Return of the King, as time passed I grew more comfortable with it and it really seemed like the right title to end the series with.

Grace,
Karen

Quote of Note: Man in the Arena

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worse, if he fails, fails while daring greatly.

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." -- Teddy Roosevelt

Q and A: Human Good, Part 2

QUESTION: (PART 2) I fully believe that when non-Christians do good things there is no redemption in their actions. That's only through Christ... But isn't the fact that they are even able to do something good --"good" being something one can only define by God's principles -- a sign of God's image/creation?

ANSWER: Satan's sin was not the desire to be opposite of God, but to be like Him (Is 14:13). He has ministers of righteousness who teach people how to be righteous (2 Co 11:14, 15). How to do good. It is a total corruption of what God is. Satan has systems -- religion is the best of them -- for corrupting God's plan and subtly impugning his character. If you look at sin as being beyond immorality, but really thinking and acting in independence from God, which is what it is, then the good is only good in man's eyes, and is despicable in God's.

As I said yesterday, all those righteous deeds performed in the power of the flesh revolt Him. That which is highly esteemed in the eyes of men is detestable to God (Luk 16:15). I guess I'd have to say technically you're right in that the counterfeit and corruption do point to the original... but what is the point of looking at the alleged "good" being performed by people as being a sign of God's image? It's like looking at a counterfeit bill and saying, "Well, this counterfeit bill tells me there's a real bill somewhere that this was copied and corrupted from."

Hmm. Actually, you wouldn't even know it was a counterfeit unless you were already totally familiar with the real. It's almost like what's being said in this line of thinking is that even though the good done in human power is totally disgusting to God, it's actually a little bit good because it's a sign of God's image.

I don't think so. I think because it's a corruption of God's character, and a substitute for God's ways, that it's a great deception and evil, a deception designed to turn people away from God. And if God thinks it's gross and disgusting, then I think we should, too.

Grace,
Karen

Q and A: Residual Imprint or Human Good?

QUESTION: I've enjoyed your thoughts/truths again in your blogs, "Planting Thoughts" and "Spiritual Schizophrenia" and had a question to pose: While those who are "dead in...sins" (Eph 2:1) and our sin nature are completely opposed to God, we are still made in God's image, albeit fallen. And so, in my mind, there is still that residual imprint of His--we see it everywhere, in His creation, in human beings--it is why we long for restoration in Him. Would you agree with this, or do you believe that's just the "human good" that's showing up?

ANSWER: I'd like to start by pointing out something that people always seem to miss when they bring up the "God created us in His image" concept. Actually, God created Adam and the woman in His image, as documented by Gen 1:27. However, after Adam fell, he "lived one hundred and thirty years [and] became the father of a son IN HIS OWN LIKENESS, ACCORDING TO HIS [i.e., Adam's] IMAGE, and named him Seth (Gen 5:3) Since the Bible is careful to make a distinction here, I think it's important we understand why.

In Gen 1:27, the word for image connotes a shadow image and is talking primarily about the soul. Our souls are framed in God's image as it were, with self-consciousness, mentality, volition, vocabulary, norms and standards, memory, etc. All qualities God's word shows that He has as God. Adam and the woman were also perfect in body and soul and spirit, but once they fell they were not perfect. Their bodies were corrupted with a sin nature and they were spiritually dead, incapable of having a relationship with God on their own and, being cut off from God at that point, incapable of doing anything good in His eyes. All our righteousnesses are as filthy, menstrual rags. From the top of our head to the bottom of our feet, there is no soundness in us.

We can't actually see God in His creation, but even in its fallen state, "His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made so that [unbelievers] are without excuse." Creation brings us to the point of being conscious that there is a God, and from there we decide whether we want a relationship with Him or not. I don't consider that as falling under the "human good" category.

Nor do I think the longing after Him is human good. The reason some of us yearn for Him is because "He has set a desire for eternal things in the heart of every man..." (Eccl 3:11) When a person reaches the point of realizing there is a God and has a desire to know about him, then God will bring the appropriate information to him. Which is what I think you are talking about in our yearning for Him.

This longing is a fragile spark and if it is not nurtured or acted upon it will grow dim. Thus not everyone longs for God. Many people want nothing to do with Him. They may feel the lack, the hole but instead of filling it with God, they seek to fill it with the things of the world. Which is futile, as the book of Ecclesiastes shows us. Others convince themselves they are quite satisfied with their lives as they are living them, happy to believe the lie that they are the "Captain of their own ship and the masters of their fate".

It's volition that determines the difference. The desire to know God versus the desire to go independent from Him, which is really what Satan's original sin was about. Being independent from God.

I also believe there is an element of yearning in us for what we lost in Adam -- the original glory that Adam had, the spiritual element that he lost -- I think we're all in some way conscious of the lack, conscious of the fact that without Him we are not whole. But it may not be a cognizant consciousness. Just a general sense of incompleteness that tends to drive people again, toward all those experiments Solomon pursued in Ecclesiastes.

And of course there is the sin nature part, that makes it even more obvious how flawed we all are.

Tomorrow, part two of this reader's question.

Grace,
Karen

Jigsaw Puzzles and Empty Stages

From my nonstop as a part of today's writing efforts:

"I’m swimming around. I’m tumbling along in a washing machine. I don’t know what I’m doing. But from reading my previous writing journals this is common. This is usual, actually. I just did a provisional sketch of a scene I feel needs to be here, but… I don’t know how to integrate it. So right now it’s just there.

"The way I write just seems so wrong. Where’s the outline? Where’s the orderly forward momentum? Why is it so amorphous and confused? Why? Why? Why?

"I don’t know.

"One of the things that seems to be happening is that I write something in a sequence and then start breaking it up, inserting new parts, moving sections of the original further and further back.

"I’m kind of going through the scene and sequel cards I had made up and they seem to be fitting, sort of. I also have a list of plot events I want, but when I look at those I am dismayed because I’ve only managed to get two of them into the story so far. But maybe most of them occur at the story's end. And right now this story's end is far more in place that its soggy, wandery middle.

"I have lots of partial scenes and scraps. Do they go together or not? Aack! Why can't I decide?

"There is no need to freak out and get all agitated. God has everything under control. This is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle and all the pieces are here. Yes, there are parts of other puzzles mixed in, but eventually all of it will be sorted out and this picture come together. I know that is the case because God is behind it. God knows. I don’t. So I’ll just keep plugging. One word at a time. That’s really what it is, too. One word at a time."

But I am progressing, working on Chapter 17 now (and you might recall that at my last report I was on ch 14), with some of it already pulled out and held for chapter 18. I have too much plot, but that's standard for me. I read my journal entry for two years ago when I was working on RotGK and I was saying the same things. Too much plot. No direction. Elements floating around with no clear place to go.

Today I thought that perhaps having Quigley as a distraction isn't really going to make all that much difference since even if I was focusing all my attention on the book for eight hours a day, I still wouldn't have gotten any further.

Another analogy is that it's like I'm watching a darkened stage, waiting for the players and scenery to emerge from the draperies. So far nothing has emerged, though I hear snatches of conversations, rumblings and rustlings. Still, after awhile staring at the empty stage gets boring and I lose interest and so go off to something more entertaining. Which today, was play with Quigley (who was very good).

So today was a thinking and simmering day. And tomorrow? Who knows!

Grace,
Karen

Perfectionism Strikes Again

Well, Stu returned from his trip on Saturday night and we all had a very good day on Sunday. I went to church and Stu worked on the fence. Quigley was out in the yard with him for much of the day, and quite mellow by evening. Though we did have visit from Mr. Hyde for a few hours this afternoon, most of today was good in a lot of ways, too.

Quig's finally starting to get "sit". Food definitely motivates him. I can wipe him down with a cloth, put him in the crate for varying periods of time with almost no fuss (especially in the morning) and there was almost no humping. Biting has reduced to him putting his teeth alongside my arm/hand rather than on it. Mostly... At least I've sustained no new wounds for the last two days.

Even so I woke up this morning -- as I've awakened for far too many mornings lately -- feeling tense, anxious, and out of sorts. Not wanting to get up and face it all. Since I'd already figured out that I really was going to give it to God, and not be trying to solve things and that my husband was going to play a big part in it all, I couldn't see why I was anxious and tense. But after sorting through some things and talking to the Lord, He finally showed me what was at the bottom of it: some ridiculous, unvoiced, unrealized standards that I had laid upon myself and Quigley both. The old perfectionism again. Not only did I have to do everything right when it came to training/living with him, but he had to, too. This is completely irrational, I know.

But we are all irrational people. Ecclesiastes says the hearts of men (in their flesh) are full of evil and insanity all of their lives. What's weird is that this standard can be there lurking behind and in my motivation, and it took me so long to realize it. My sin nature had taken control yet again in demanding that I do everything right. Or Else.

Who wouldn't be tense with that kind of demand? It's impossible to fulfill and I knew it, even if I wasn't thinking about any of it consciously.

I've been through this so many times (albeit with different scenarios) that recognizing it was a relief. I just acknowledged how ridiculous it was to think I was going to do everything perfectly, and even more to think that of a 13 week old puppy. Once I did, the tension dissolved. It's so freeing to know that it doesn't really matter if we fail or not, especially in something like this. We're still perfect in God's eyes and that's what matters. Not only that, but I know that He is here, part of this process, knowing everything before it ever happens, and having His plan already in place... I may not know what I'm doing, but He does.

So, while I don't expect that Quigley is going to be the model puppy from now on, nor that I am going to make all the right decisions, being able to fail has brought the peace back. I can fail, Quig can fail and God can still make it right. In fact, I know He is working through all of it, just not in accordance with any pattern or "plans" that I can see. Which is pretty much how it is most of the time, these days.

Grace,
Karen

Nonstop Blog

I have no idea what I'm going to do for a blog post tonight, but it's Sunday and I want to put something up. I have a couple of prepared posts, but I think the Lord's telling me, "Not tonight." So what am I going to post?

How about I try a little nonstopping on the blog post and see what comes up? I'm tired. It's been a difficult four days. On Thursday my DH left for an annual camping trip that took him hundreds of miles away and out of even phone contact, leaving me home with ... Mr. Hyde. My lycanthropic dog (lycanthrope being the word Pastor used this morning in his message to describe many people; he didn't tell us what it meant though so we would look it up.) It's probably a bad metaphor to compare a dog to a man who's being compared to a wolf... or is Jekyll and Hyde more about the notion of the dramatic change in personality than lycanthropy? Hmm. Was Mr. Hyde really a werewolf, or just sort of like one? I can't recall.

Anyway, Quigley was very wearing. Or maybe it was just me wearing on my self with all my self-condemnation for my failures, my speculations about the distant future and worries about the near future in addition to never really knowning what was going to happen. Would he be sweet and semi cuddly? Or would he bite at my glasses or my ears? Would he prance jauntily at my side as we walked about the yard, or try to grab my leg in his latest behavior aberration, humping. (If I use that word does it make this blog an x-rated blog?) Actually from what I've read, humping at this age is somewhat normal, though perhaps not with the intensity that Quigley does it. On the other hand, he's an intense little animal. (I really believe he's an ADHD doggy)

It can just be playing, it can precipitate from getting too excited, it can be set off by allergies, even. I've seen connections to the playing and excitement. The cure is to take away everything that stimulates him to do it -- his bed, all his soft toys and now... me. Which is kind of cool. When he starts, I rip his bed out of his crate and throw it over the boards that block off the dining room. When he starts on me, I leave immediately. And don't return for some time -- which gives me time to go do some work on the book.

That seems to be working. Slowly, erratically, but... I think... maybe... it is working.

But that's today. On Thursday, it was terrible. And I was at home alone to deal with it. Well, not alone, since I had the Lord and knew that He had chosen all of it for my benefit and His glory. I just couldn't see much what the benefit was, other than forcing me to seek Him every five minutes.

Okay, let's not go there. I did a bunch of failing. It got very hard. Thursday was a disaster. Friday was good until evening when he went bonkers for a bit and we had issues going in and out, issues with the bed, barking issues... Saturday wasn't bad, until evening when my son came for a visit and out came Mr. Hyde. I think now that the solution is just to not go in with him when he's like that (Quigley, not my son) and ignore him until he calms down before giving him any attention at all. That is my current plan.

Because even when you give it all over to the Lord, you still have to do something. You have to feed the dog. You have to take him out to potty. You have to stop him if he's chewing a hole in the fence or digging up the old shingles and eating them... People come over to see him and you have to have some plan in place or you just repeat the terrible scenario you had the last time.

I have learned some things. About Quigley. About myself About what works and what doesn't. About life.

One thing I learned about myself is that when I have a good day, I assume the worst is over and all subsequent days will be good: a steady, upward path of improvement now awaits. Which makes the bad days all the more shocking and demoralizing. Then, on the bad days, I assume that the worst is yet to come and all subsequent days will be bad, a steady downward path into increasingly unpleasant relations with the dog.

Neither viewpoint is right. The fact is, we really don't know what kind of day we are going to have. And young dogs, like old dogs, like people, like life, are unpredictable. Growth is not a steady upward curve. It zigs and zags. You go forward, then regress. You hit plateaus and think things will never change. There are reversals, stutterings, wrong paths...

Hmmm. Sounds an awful lot like writing a novel... Or spiritual growth. The key in all of them is to just hold the line. And keep on plugging.

So we will.

Karen

Letting Go

It's amazing to me how we can give a problem over to God one day and take it back the very next. Just as soon as we think of a new way to solve it, and now must rush off to try it out.

Usually only to find it ending in disaster. That's been my experience with Quigley and the behavior issues. Yesterday I stupidly read more on the Internet (I don't know why I get so exasperated with Quig as a slow learner -- look at me!) about how to raise a puppy, how to handle a hyperactive dog, how to develop habits, how to deal with biting, humping, barking, digging, what kind of exercise, and on and on. Waaaay too much. In the end I dispaired. There was no way I could remember all the stuff I'd read, let alone follow it. Besides I don't even know if I agree with it all, or if it would work. It's a bit weird to get to the end of an article and find the caveat -- if these tips don't work, you must go find an animal behaviorist right away.

Hmm. There are several in the phone books. How do I know which one to try? Oh, they say, ask the people you know who have the best behaved dogs. Well, uh, in the past... that's always been us... But anyway, that would mean lots of research. In addition to the gazillion things I read about that I had to do, including the fact that raising puppies is complicated, and not even experts know what they're doing and you can't tell the damage you've done until it's far too late and... really, you're better off not even to start with a puppy it's so hard.

O-kaaay... Not helpful. A mass of confusion and GOD is not the author of confusion, so this must have come from somewhere else.

In a way, coming to the point where there's no way you're ever going to be able to follow all the instructions is good. Because then you know that you have to put it back in the Lord's hands. It also helps that when you do go off with one of your cockamamie tips to try, the thing just falls into disaster. So it was with me yesterday and this morning. And as the nice little thing I thought would happen devolved into chaos and biting and frenzy, the thought ran through my head: "This is a lot like what happened when you kept trying to do the marketing thing you weren't supposed to be doing. Do you suppose God is trying to tell you the same thing here?" Uh, yes.

It's made me realize, though, that there's more sometimes than just putting a problem into the Lord's hands. Sometimes you have to confront what it is you want and how greatly you want it (which you might not have realized) and you have to accept that you just might not get it. That whatever happiness or blessing you are looking for in the situation, might not ever materialize and you have to be okay with that. Because the Lord is to be our only focus of blessing -- His person, His will, His plan -- and we're not to go scurrying after whatever it is that we want (in my case, a soft, sweet, snuggly puppy who will let me pet him and love on him without always biting me -- I mean, Quigley is just so cute that you want to hug him and he does not really want you to do that. Of course... I like hedgehogs, too and they aren't particularly huggable either...)

Anyway, coming to that realization was what really enabled me to let it go. This is what I want, what I've been striving so hard for, and I might not ever get it. I certainly am not going to get it the way I am going after it. And all the striving destroys the peace. So. I really have no choice -- put it in my Father's hands, forget about doing any research or any classes or really even any training and leave it to Him to do whatever He will. He can make the dog a sweet companion. Or not. The thing is, you can't be going to the dog for things the Lord wants to give you. For things the Lord is really the only one who can give them to you.

And I take comfort from the verse in Ps 127:2 It is vain for you to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors; For He gives to His beloved even in (her) sleep.

And also Ro 9:16 So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy.

And wouldn't you know, tonight's lesson brought up the Grace pipeline -- the fact that it's God's own perfect righteousness that He imputed to us at salvation that is the reason He blesses us. Not anything we do. Nice dogs are made by good owners, says the world. No. Nice dogs are a grace gift from the Lord. You can do everything "right" and have a bad dog. You can do everything "wrong" and have a good one. We really don't have as much control as we'd like to think.

Karen

Q and A: Violence in Christian Fiction

QUESTION: Having read your books, Perreti's and Dekker's novels - I see that there is a lot of violance in them. I suppose the genre in which you write would not allow for anything different. I also do take into account that these represent everyday fight of good versus evel. However, I can't get over the fact that Christianity is a truly non-violent faith, and I am not sure that even self-defence would be justified in His eyes. I am sure you have thought this through and are ahead of me - so I would appreciate your explanation.

ANSWER: Regarding the notion that Christianity is a non-violent faith, I'd have to disagree with you on that. The premise comes from part of Jesus's Sermon on the Mount where He talks about turning the other cheek, but that is for the Millennial reign when He will be in total charge, there will be no armies, and any affront or crime will be instantly dealt with by Him. His admonition to Peter in Mt 26 to put down the sword because those who live by it will die by it is referring to murder. The Old Testament Commandment not to kill (Ex 20), is more properly rendered "You shall not commit murder." And murder is mentioned in God's list of 7 worst sins (Pro 6:16-19), whereas killing in battle or defending one's life, family or property is not.

Also, when Jesus met the Roman Centurion in Matthew 8, he healed the man's son, and marveled that he had "not found such great faith with anyone in Israel." This was a man whose job was to be a soldier. To fight for Rome. To kill people and to be very, very good at it. If Christianity is non-violent, why didn't Jesus reprove him for his wicked choice of jobs instead of praising him to the skies? He didn't praise anyone else in all the four gospels as much as he did this guy.

Finally it was God who taught Israel to war (The Book of Numbers), God who taught David's fingers to fight (Ps 144:1). And it is Jesus who will return on a white horse with a sword to personally slay the armies of His enemies (human armies) until the blood runs as high as the horse's bridles... (Rev 14:20)

I say all that so you will know that I do not in any way believe I am compromising my faith to read books with violence in them (nor to write them, for that matter) so long as it lines up with the divinely instituted principles God has provided for life. In particular the violence of military function is needed for the perpetuation of nationalism which is important in preserving the freedom to spread the gospel and to grow in grace and knowledge of Christ. (yet another huge subject!)

Grace,
Karen

Hand & Box Report

Last week I visited the hand specialist. He confirmed that I have trigger thumb and two triggering fingers on my right hand (my ring and index fingers), with the thumb being the worst. He said there's really no clear cause, and that while restricting activity and anti-inflammatories can help, they don't necessarily cure it.

I could have gotten a cortisone shot around the thumb tendon that day, but I had Quigley in the crate and didn't want to have my hand incapacitated for the rest of the day. Plus I wanted to see if the chondroitin and glucosamine would work. The bottle recommends you take three capsules for 1-2 months, so I'm waiting to see if there's improvement at the end of two months. It seems like there is some, but it's not dramatic by any means. And the fingers seem to change. One day the ring finger is triggering, the next day it's the index finger.

If it doesn't work out, I can call whenever I want to set up an appointment for an injection, and I don't have to worry about it spreading or getting so bad there's no hope but surgery. At least at this point.

It's not necessarily a repetitve injury related thing, though it can be. Or it can be from an injury to the base of the finger where the tendons have thickened. It can be related to another condition like arthritis or diabetes (I don't have either of those). More often it has no clear cause. It is more common in woman than men, and often begins between ages 40 and 60.

Dr. Margolis doesn't really recommend the chondroitin/glucosamine route, but he was fine with me waiting to see what would happen. He said that sometimes it just goes away by itself, too. Why do I suspect it might go away as soon as I have this draft finished?

Assuming I ever finish it, which at the rate things have been going seems doubtful. LOL. Not really. Today I woke up realizing that I had taken back Quigley's biting problem from the Lord and was trying to solve it myself again -- feeling like I had to constantly be interacting, watching him, dealing with the situation. But when you trust the Lord with all your heart (thinking) and do not lean on your own understanding, you aren't supposed to be thinking about the problem and what to do about it. You leave the problem to Him.

When I saw that I could just put the whole biting thing into His hands and leave it, and not feel like I have to take a puppy class, or some other class, or find the best solution, training tip, or be the best trainer, but could just leave it alone and let Him handle it -- in His time -- the peace returned. So that's how I'm dealing with it today. If he bites, I do the same things I've always done, but I'm not going to get into that place where I'm thinking I have to get it stopped NOW.

And today was great. He hardly made any skin-teeth contact at all. I actually had him outside quite a bit, too, so I got a lot of thinking work done on Box. I decided not to include a number of scenes I'd planned, rearranged chapters and a scene or two. I'm now working on chapter 14 again, but I've taking the second half of the old ch 14 out and put it in 15 and have a new scene I'm adding to the end of the new 14. Once finished, I can move on to 16, which is already sketched in, or maybe even 17, depending on how I'm led.

Tomorrow is another day.

Grace,
Karen

To See the Need...

Today was difficult. My DH (that's Dear Husband in flylady talk) went to Phoenix for a pole vault competition, so I had Quigley for the day and intended to leave him crated for longer than he'd ever been crated during the day (2 1/2 hours). Just as I was getting him prepared for this, the phone rang and it was the neighbor, whom I have known for 11 years, though only superficially. We rarely talk. She's never expressed any interest in Christianity only disdain, and speaks of various new age beliefs that she favors. Anyway, she called with a favor to ask...

Leaving out most of the details, what she wanted was my time. On a somewhat daily basis, in the morning, doing a task I really am not suited for and don't like doing. I would never know which day I would be doing it, and would only find out in the early morning of the same day. There was no near end mentioned for this arrangement, which means I could be doing it for months.

I was...completely blown away. I'd been praying for her salvation. Was this an opportunity? I wanted to help, but of all things on earth, this was not something I wanted to do. I told her that it was way out of my area of competence. She said she'd have asked another neighbor, but that one was sidelined with illness. I suggested a third, who seemed the perfect candidate. My neighbor said she'd call her and get back to me one way or the other this afternoon.

I hung up in shock. My thinking which had been mostly washed away by astonishment, began to kick in again. This was not a good thing I had somewhat agreed to. There was, in addition to the rest, the potential of the hour long task expanding to fill the whole day. Plus, I really dislike situations where you never know what you're going to do the next day. Not that I ever really know, mind you, but to have a semi-regular obligation that might suddenly materialize is not something I care for. It gets me all out of whack mentally.

But it seems the Christian thing to do. Shouldn't I just trust God for all that and go for it? Here's a person in need. Aren't we supposed to meet their needs if we have means?

In the past I've always thought that when something seemed the Christian thing to do but was something I didn't want to do, I should just suck it up and step out of my comfort zone and do it. The only thing is, in every case when I've done that, it's never been the thing God wanted me to do.

I hoped for a clear answer in today's class, and one of the things said was that we're to take Jesus's yoke and not our own. His yoke is easy. If we are weary and heavy laden, we don't have His yoke. I also began to think maybe I should trust the feelings I have. That if it was God's will for me, I would want to do it. I have had experiences like that, where I've wanted to do and have done, things that are very unlike me, things that normally would be way out of my comfort zone.

But I have a book to write, the time for which has already been severely compromised. This arrangement with my neighbor -- with no mentioned endpoint -- would compromise it even more. Not just in the time actually taken, but in the distraction the whole situation would be to my mental and emotional state. I've wrestled with the fact that writing is my calling, and that unlike other folks, I don't get to go out and do a lot of the personal interaction and helping that makes you feel like you're actually doing something. I don't get to do it because I'm at home, working on the book. The time has to be guarded. But there is a price.

When you actually get to help someone personally, you get a little charge out of it. It makes you feel good. Jesus wasn't kidding when He said it is more blessed to give than to receive. That goes for everyone, believer and unbeliever alike. It really is pleasurable. When you have a calling like mine, you mostly don't get to see what your work is doing. You especially don't get to see it during the time you are doing the work. It's not until months or maybe even years later that you might hear back from readers who were pleased or positively influenced by it, but even then most people who read it won't give any feedback. That's fine. I know it comes with the territory. But it does make me eager to fulfill in a personal way the needs of others when they come up -- and thus makes me vulnerable to distraction.

"To see the need is not to hear the call."

I think I heard that in Bible class. Or maybe I read it. Or maybe both. Anyway, it was one of the things God brought to mind today. One of the good things about knowing what your spiritual gift is, is that you will be better able to choose what good things you will do and what good things you won't. You will be better able to discern distractions from what is important for you to be doing.

I had a lot more arguments with myself on this matter throughout the day, (and thus got no writing done) and kept asking the Lord to make it clear what I should do. More and more it seemed that what was clear was to guard my writing time, to focus on the calling He's given me. I told Him that, but also asked Him to straighten me out if I was going in the wrong direction. Gradually the question arose as to whether I really did have the means to fulfill the neighbor's request. In this case, the means is the time. And I don't believe I do.

It was a hard decision to reach, because a lot of people will look at it and think that I've been unloving. Ungiving. Unsacrificial. I suppose it depends on who the object is of the love, giving and sacrifice. If it's my neighbor, then perhaps yes. If it's my readers, then perhaps no. In any case, it's not the favor of man I'm to seek, but of God, and I already know how He sees me, regardless of what I do: perfect and blameless and holy.

Which changes the whole perspective.

Grace,
Karen

P.S. Quigley did great in the crate. So far as I could tell he never cried at all, and even played with his kong toy enough to get a couple of pieces of the dog biscuit out. His biting tendancies remain problematic, however. So far, despite many and varied suggestions, nothing has worked unequivocably. He still has times when you can't put your hand anywhere near his head without the teeth coming around and trying to bite. But he doesn't do it so hard, and sometimes he doesn't even really do it, just shadow-does it. His teeth might graze the side of your hand. He rarely draws blood any more. Today he mostly bit my sleeve and pants leg rather than me. Is that an improvement? I think it is. But still, it seems like we have a long way to go.

Six Non-Important Habits or Quirks

Well, even without the comments operational, I've been tagged again for one of those blogger memes. (For more on this see my blog post the last time I was tagged: I've been Tagged -- Twice ) This time Tim Waters, a regular reader of this blog, emailed to let me know he'd tagged me on his blog, The Abiding Life, to list six non-important habits or quirks about myself. Why anyone would want to know that, I'm not sure.

Of course there are meme rules which you're supposed to copy out and include, and then you're supposed to tag six others, but being the hermit-writer that I am, with no time, who rarely reads other blogs (though I did enjoy Tim's) I'm not going to do either. You'll just get the six, non-important habits or quirks.

1) I have tea and cookies every afternoon around 4:30 or 5. I also have tea along with breakfast a few times a week. I only like Twinings English (or Irish) Breakfast tea. I strongly dislike Lipton, yuck!, which my favored (nearest) grocery store suddenly decided to carry shelves of while it discontinued all the Twinings teas as it remodeled and "expanded" its selections. Now you can get all sorts of Mexican cheeses and refrescas, prickly pear pads, other weird vegetables, but you can only get Lipton black tea and some Celestial Seasonings blends (which I also don't like). They even discontinued my Stash chai brand.

The cookies are almost always brownies or chocolate chip.

2) I chew my fingers -- not my fingernails, but the little bits of skin that come up from around the cuticle and fingernails. It's combination of a skin quirk I have with a writer's tendancy to be orally fixated. Or so I'm told. When I was first reading about "How to tell if you're a Writer," one of the characteristics is that writers tend to want to stick things in their mouths -- they chew their pens, fingernails, the ends of pencils, straws, gum, etc, or they are smokers, which is also related to oral fixation. If you believe in that sort of psychobabble. I'm not sure I do, but it's a convenient excuse for my habit.

I do it mostly when I'm thinking or reading, so I'm not usually aware of the fact that I'm doing it. It gets worse when I'm under stress. Attempts to break it have been futile. Putting bad tasting stuff on them doesn't stop the urge to chew and always ends up in my eyes, where it burns. The best thing is to keep my hands out of water and constantly slather lotion on them (I mean like every hour or so) but that's not something I can remember to do either. When I do, I always find myself ready to type next and don't want to get lotion all over the keyboard. Or worse, after I've rubbed the lotion in, circumstances conspire to where I'm immediately putting my hands in water again.

3) I think I might have an almost habit or maybe a quirk (a peculiar habit, mannerism or aspect of somebody's character) of eating avocado melt open faced sandwiches with Chai tea at least three times a week. I've been doing this for ... a number of years. Could be something like seven years. I started doing it when my favorite place for lunch, The Native Cafe (which served the avocado melts on sour dough bread) closed down.

It's one slice of 12-grain bread toasted, cream cheese, sprinkle of garlic, avocado, sprinkle of onion, sliced tomato, longhorn cheese, melted in the oven. I throw in some tortilla chips to heat along with it and have to eat it with the chai tea. Nothing else will do.

4) Speaking of "nothing else will do," I have to drink my coffee with my waffle or breakfast crepes when I'm in a restaurant. If I run out, I won't continue eating. I just sit there and let the food get cold until the waitress comes to refill the coffee cup. That definitely qualifies as peculiar, I think.

5) When writing in my journal, I alternate ink colors -- black one day, blue the next, then black again. This is "important" enough that I have spent ten or fifteen minutes searching for the appropriate pen so I can write.

Well, last time I listed one more than the meme stipulated, so it's only "right" that this time I list one less. Besides, I can't think of any other non-important habits/quirks. Housework routines (as per Flylady), Bible class and exercise habits are important. My life is too filled with surprises for me to establish very many non essential habits. Even using the routines is sometimes a challenge, especially now with Quigley and trying to write a book at the same time.

Speaking of Quigley, I brought him into the office today and he lay beside me, chewed his chew and finally fell asleep while I worked. It was very cool.



Have a great weekend
Karen

A Hound Wins Westminster

Well, Uno the beagle, a hound, won Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show, which is the US's biggest dog show event. And he did it baying and jumping on his handler and chewing on reporter's microphones. It's the first time a hound of any kind has won since 1983 and the first time ever for a beagle. They're saying his will be the "Ah-roo" heard round the ring.

Here are some excerpts from the stories on Fox News. I selected them because they are so typically hound!

Will a beagle take next step in '08?
NEW YORK (AP) - Uno barked at his handler, bayed at the crowd, tried to grab his leash and took a flying leap at a piece of pork loin. Oh, and he gnawed away at a newly printed sign.

Now that's one great beagle.

His white-tipped tail in perpetual motion, Uno turned the green carpet of Madison Square Garden into his own personal backyard Monday. He also took his first winning steps at the Westminster Kennel Club show, easily earning best of breed at America's No. 1 dog event.

"Snoopy would be proud," handler Aaron Wilkerson said. "He was being his merry little hound self."

While best in show will be presented Tuesday night, the precocious package of personality certainly deserved one early title: noisiest in show.

"Ah-rooo!" his howls echoed all over the arena. It didn't take much to get Uno going, either. A click of a spectator's pen, a wave of the judge's hand, any effort by Wilkerson to hush him. "Ah-rooo!"

Uno the beagle makes history with Westminster win

NEW YORK (AP) - Good ol' Snoopy, a champion at last.

Barking and baying up a storm, Uno lived up to his name Tuesday night by becoming the first beagle to win best in show at the Westminster Kennel Club.

The nation's new top dog was clearly the fan favorite, and drew a roaring, standing ovation from the sold-out crowd at Madison Square Garden when he was picked.

Uno got right into the act, jumping up on handler Aaron Wilkerson and confirming his other title: noisiest in show. Years from now, he'll be known for the "ah-roo" heard 'round the ring.

Uno celebrated by chewing on the microphones of reporters who tried to interview his winning crew. Those had to suffice for the yellow, soft duck that's his favorite toy.

[snip]

When it came time to show, Uno was as precocious and precious as ever.With fans calling out his name and clapping, he soaked in the cheers as he paraded around the ring, the cheers becoming more thunderous with every step. And when he made his final stop in front of Jones, Uno went to town, baying over and over

[Check out the pictures of the other dogs who competed with Uno for Best in Show in the sidebar gallery on this last link. Especially the poodle!]

Grace,
Karen

Light at the End of the Tunnel

Quigley was really good today. Well, most of today. With me, not our guest... but hey, he was so good about the biting that it's cause for rejoicing.

A friend emailed me the other day about another technique to use in providing negative consequence for his biting, and that's where you place your fingers in his mouth from the side, and squeeze the roof of his mouth and top of his nose at the same time. I saw one of the technicians do this at the vet's office last Saturday, but had never had it explained until my friend's email. It works well. Another tool in the box to use against the biting.

Besides that there is making the sharp, short "AAA!" sound when he touches me with his teeth, immediately stopping play and turning away, or leaving his presence altogether, holding his mouth closed, reminding him "no biting", sticking my finger in through the side of his mouth so I pull the cheek with it over his teeth -- he bites me, he bites himself. We also stick his ear into his mouth sometimes or his leg (he seems happy to chew on them as well) or give him a chew or toy.

It's rapid fire, constant, intense... but! We ARE making progress. Tooth/skin contact has been greatly reduced and when it is made, it's far gentler. So much so I almost don't notice it sometimes. He gets praise for when he jumps beside me rather than on me, praise for when he licks instead of bites, praise when he bites the toy instead of me... There is light at the end of the tunnel. I have no new blood wounds today.

I'm also seeing the biting as a form of interaction and communication. The barking, too, which seems to be gradually taking over from the biting -- a good thing! Increased tendancy to bite comes when he's tired, and today he barked at me to tell me he wanted to go out, or eat or get in his bed, instead of biting me.

In addition to some success on the Quigley front, there was also progress on the writing front. I'm writing again on Chapter 14 after several days of thinking about the outline. No, the rest of the book is not clearly outlined, but it is outlined. More or less. And this time I have a lot more confidence about what I'm doing and where I'm going with it all. So that's nice. Hopefully I continue to progress tomorrow.

I also brought Quigley into the office with me today, not the first time he's been in here, but the first time in a few weeks. He was too interested in exploring everything for me to really work. But hopefully in a few days he will be able to come in and be here with his chew while I type.

Grace,
Karen

Q and A: On Studying and Writing

QUESTION: I wondered whether you study [God's word] according to what you're gonna write, or do you write according to what you've studied? As you study does an idea spring out at you and you write about it or is it the other way around? And how do you know it's God's idea and not your own? How do you perservere with the story? How did God inspire you to write things like 'The Guardian King' series?

ANSWER: As I've said in this blog before, I believe the Bible teaches that the Holy Spirit gives certain men the spiritual gift of pastor-teacher for the training and equipping of the saints for the Christian life (Eph 4:11,12) and that each of us are assigned to a specific man (I Th 5:12), as the man himself is assigned a specific congregation (1 Pe 5:2,3).

Having found one's right pastor-teacher, the Christian's "sacrifice" (Ro 12:1) is then to bring his body to the place where he can hear his pastor's teaching on a daily basis, either face to face (which is preferable) or by means of techology (which is what I've had to do). The pastor then is the one who decides what I'm going to study, not me.

Yes, I could pick and chose from among his many lessons, but I've learned that is not the best way to go about it. We need the whole realm of doctrine, not just the subjects that interest us or that we think we need. Plus God the Holy Spirit often speaks specifically through the pastor to me regarding events going on in my life at the time regardless of the subject matter of the lesson.

With that as my base, I might do an additional study on the side based on what I've chosen to write about. For example, I'm incorporating nephilim in my current book, so I've done a separate study on that (though of course, the whole idea for including them came from my pastor's teachings on them a couple years ago).

As to how exactly I choose what I'm going to write about... I go by what interests me, what I care about, what occurs to me. Frankly it's a mysterious process and usually I don't even know what I am writing about until I have at least a first draft.

How do I know if it's God's idea? It has to line up with scripture for one. And of course, I pray constantly for His guidance in the matter. After that, I don't much worry about it.

In the case of Black Box, I came up with the idea and submitted it, thinking there was no way Bethany House would want it. When they did, I knew it was definitely God's will for me to write it. With the Legends of the Guardian King series, which didn't get published for 25+ years after I started working on it, it was just that I loved it and couldn't give up on it. I know it was God's will and God's idea and that He intended me to do it. The idea and the desire just never let up, despite numerous disappointments and frustrations. It was something like Jeremiah's "burning in my bones" that would not be shut up.

Not to say I didn't struggle with doubt. I prayed about it, asking God if I should keep at it. Since the desire never left and I continued to have the time to pursue it, I concluded that I was to keep on. Moreover, I knew I was to write for God -- not for publication, nor other people, but because He'd given me a gift. I wanted to exercise it in that way, and I would trust Him to do whatever He wished with it. I knew that I was in His plan because I was obeying the commands to "worship by means of (the filling of the) Spirit and of (learning/applying) truth (God's word, of course)" and that was all that was necessary.

I wanted to do it, I believed God had given me the desire and the ability to do it (and others I respected agreed). I would take a risk on Him and go forward with it. Bottom line is, "sure" does not equal faith. If you are sure then there's no faith. And without faith it's impossible to please Him.

Grace,
Karen

Learning through Suffering

I saved this picture from the cover of Coonhound Bloodlines magazine, the December 1996 edition. It's watercolor for one, and it depicts my favorite dogs for another. Redbone Coonhound puppies are soooooo cute! This is pretty much what Quigley looks like now. When we take him to the vet, technicians have to come out to see him and pet him and coo over him.

Today was a good day. I got to go to church, Quigley was good, and my car is finally fixed. Hurray! Thursday was not good. I went on the internet and read about dog training. Pretty much everything I could find advocated "gentle, positive methods of training" where you never reprimand your dog, only find ways to redirect him so you can praise him, where you never make your puppy feel uncomfortable obeying you, or, it would seem in any of his interactions with you. As for biting, said one article, if your puppy bites hard enough to break the skin you have an aggressive dog and had better see a veterinarian behavior specialist to evaluate as soon as possible.

I was freaked. Looking back, I just want to slap myself upside the head and ask, "What were you thinking???" Everytime I go on the internet I learn stuff that freaks me out and turns out not to even be valid or relevant to my situation.

I tried some of their advice and it only made things worse. Quigley needs more than "Just leave the room for a minute when he puts teeth to your skin." Let's see, I'd be like a jumping bean, going in and out of the room every other minute. Quigley's kind of like an eel. At a certain point when you're petting him his mouth flies open and never closes as it swings back and forth after your hands... and he's sooo fast. Teeth are touching skin before you can even register it happened.

Well, so many things happened this weekend, that I'd be here all night, but the upshot of it was I realized I've been obsessing over the dog. Again. Instead of sitting back and trusting the Lord to handle things, I was thinking about the problem, trying to figure out what to do about it, and going to the world to look for a solution. Today I decided, Phooey. Back to business as usual, so much as I can. The Lord will have to protect Quigley from his strange appetites (the roots of bermuda grass, rocks, charcoal, wood, pine cones, roofing materials, weeds, leaves, sticks and anything else that comes into the yard) and He will be the one to fix him, not me. I will do what I do, what I'm led to do, what I've done with the past five dogs we've raised... Jake, Grumpy, Sam, Boomer, Bear...

It occured to me in Bible class the evening of the day I read all that stuff on the internet... Jesus learned obedience through the things that He suffered. We learn obedience through suffering. In fact, we often learn things through suffering we could never learn by any other way. The Lord sometimes deliberately puts us through it (this has all been in current Bible classes) so we can be alone with Him and learn things about ourselves and about Him.

Suffering is not a bad thing, through our society has made it seem so. People are constantly trying to make sure nothing bad ever happens to anyone. No one should ever suffer pain, mishap, injury, accident, disease, illness, being offended.

Last year in our hundred year old Rodeo Parade, a five year old girl riding in the parade was killed when horses pulling a wagon behind her bolted and ran over her and her horse. It was a tragedy, but the little girl did know how to ride, so it wasn't totatlly unreasonable for her to be in the parade (though she was under age according to the rules). She'd been around horses all her life and everyone knows when you deal with horses, these things occasionally happen. Horses are big and stupid (though not as stupid as sheep, I will point out!) and they have a lot of strength and speed. People get hurt. Horses get hurt. Yet what was the unending refrain on every newscast relating to this story? "What can we do to make sure this never happens again?" "We must work hard to make sure this never happens again." "H0w could this possibly have happened?!"

I use this just as an example of how accidents are treated. Horror! Shock! The sense that no one should ever suffer anything under any circumstances. Yet that is not the Bible's view.

Well, anyway, I decided that if Jesus could learn through the things He suffered, if I could learn through the things I suffer (and, in fact, must with certain kinds of lessons), if my son learned obedience from the things he suffered, it doesn't seem like such a bad thing if the puppy has to learn things from suffering like all the rest of us. Of course by suffering I mean, reprimanding him, pushing him off the table when he jumps up to put his paws on it and see what he can steal, lifting my knee to bump his chest when he jumps up (more like hurls himself at me), telling him NO from time to time. It even means he can scream in his crate until he learns that he is not the only one who gets to decide when he's going to go into it.

And I will recall that I have a book to write, which I am called to do by the Lord Himself, and it takes precedence over the puppy.

Speaking of, I am currently engaged in trying to come up with a master outline. I have combined about four lists of events, plotlines and sequences into one master document (everything but the kitchen sink, it seems) and now have to make it coherent, logical and more streamlined. Not an easy task, but when it's done, I think I'll be able to write fairly smoothly, especially when I'm not requiring the writing to be anything but lousy!

Grace,
Karen

Reflections on Psalm 37

In Bible class the other day, Pastor Bob talked about how God has a fantastic plan. "He promises to give you the desires of your heart. But many of God's people say, 'Well I've been doing A, B and C for God, and He's not given me those desires.' Whynot? Bcause you wanted to give to God, serve Him, and honor Him to see what you could get out of it."

I asked myself, do I do that? At first I thought not. I serve and honor God because I love Him. Because what else is there? Who else is even remotely worthy? Who else has the power? But... most of that's kinda like sucking up to the king, now, isn't?

You recognize who has the power to bless and promote so you serve him, treat him well, do what he asks. And then, when he doesn't bless or promote like you'd like, you're angry and sulky. You feel sorry for yourself. You compare what he's given you with what he's given others and you feel resentful and jealous. As if you've been treated unfairly.

You've forgotten who you are and what He did for you. And you are most definitely serving for what you can get out of it. If you have any kind of reaction whatsover when you don't get what you wanted -- the sales, the approval, the recognition, people doing what you want them to do -- when you think you've been serving and doing what God wanted and yet you're not happy with how things have turned out... then you probably need to take another look at your motivation.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your paths. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. ~ Proverbs 3:5,6 ; Psalm 37:4

In all your ways acknowledge Him does not mean giving a nod to God as you go about your plans. Delight yourself in the Lord doesn't mean you like God and think well of Him. That word for delight really has the connotation of making love to Him. That means intense focus. That means you put aside all your own concerns and desires for the sake of the beloved. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, all your way of thinking, all your self. All of it His thinking, none of it your own understanding...

I memorized this series of verses long ago. I'll bet a lot of people have memorized them and claim them, but they are not unconditional promises. There are some things you have to do before the Lord is going to give you "the desires of your heart." And those things are huge.

This is not some surface thing, not yet another way of getting what you want out of life. All these words speak of major inner transformation and focus and devotion.

Pastor Bob said, "Not until you let go of your life, your personal goals and visions and recognize that God had a Plan -- He's put you here (not to be a successful, respected writer) but to live like Jesus Christ."

He's not even put me here so I can be a successful, respected Christian (from the world's point of view.) I'm here to be a witness in the legal trial that is the angelic conflict. To concentrate on thinking the right thoughts. On enduring. On taking all the doctrines I've learned and applying them to my life. On loving myself because of who and what He's made me to be -- a new creature, perfect in his sight. It's being a witness in the invisible war in which we fight. It's remembering always that the only thing I deserve is eternal condemnation. The only thing any of us deserve.

It is focusing on and appreciating all the great -- but often invisible -- things we've been given as believers in Christ, and not worrying about our plans, our work and whether it brings about the results we desire. It's God who's doing the real work, and it is bringing about the results He desires.

Karen

Q and A: Favorite Books, Part 2

QUESTION: How do you decide which book to take into your hands, and which book to stop reading if it goes too far, and how do you detach yourself from the content of it?

ANSWER: One of the important things I've learned about is the existance of "Divine Institutions", a social order of authority that God has set up for mankind. There are four of them and they are, 1) the sanctity of each person's individual volition in choosing things in life, 2) marriage (with the man in authority over the woman), 3) family (parents in authority over the children) and 4) nationalism (which includes military activity, which the Bible sanctions. Another huge subject). These institutions are not just for Christians but for everyone, and many unbelievers abide by them. Particularly in times past.

Many so-called "secular" books uphold these principles as they tell their stories. The Hornblower series comes to mind in this regard. Honor, courage, self-sacrifice and true principles of leadership and chain of command abound. As well as many other elements, including some analogies to Christ that I doubt the writer intended, but that I've found very illuminating.

Generally secular books portray people as they are without a relationship with Christ. Personally I'm not interested in reading about too much of this without the establishment principles -- I don't care for books that follow a person as he sins and sins and sins and that's the end. I want books that end well, where the characters learn something valuable and true, because the truth is, we who have a relationship with God through Christ do have a good ending ahead of us. Another truth is that people who live by the divine institutions as unbelievers will be blessed. I like books where justice and good prevail, because in the end they do. I can usually tell from the synopsis of the book or a review where it's going, and make my decision about reading a book accordingly.

As for how do I detach myself from the content, usually I don't do it very well. Which is one reason why I try to stop reading before I get far enough into it that I'm going to have a problem. And also another support for daily study of God's word. It helps to break the influence some books' worldly and evil contents might have gained over my thinking.

Grace,
Karen

Q and A: About Your Favorite Books List

QUESTION: "As a relatively new believer, I now read ... exclusively books written by Christian authors. I have seen the list of books you recommend, and many of those books are not written by people who believe. How do you select these books for you? How do you keep from being affected by views of people who may not know the truth? I know it is essential for you, being an author, to develop your skills through reading other authors, but how do you decide which book to take into your hands, and which book to stop reading if it goes too far, and how do you detach yourself from the content of it?"

ANSWER: The single most important way I protect myself is through the daily intake of the Word of God by means of the man I believe is my right pastor teacher. My pastor studies the Bible daily and deeply, then teaches (almost daily) based on his understanding of the original languages, the historical and cultural setting at the time of writing and how other pertinent scriptures in the Bible compare to the one being looked at.

After becoming saved, the new believer is challenged "to grow in grace and the knowledge of Jesus Christ." "God is spirit and we must worship Him in Spirit (the Filling of the Holy Spirit) and in truth (knowledge, belief and application of the word of God)." We are to "present our bodies a living sacrifice" (bring them to where they can hear the word being taught) so that our minds might be renewed or, more accurately, renovated. God's ways and thoughts are not our ways. There is a complete worldly/human way of thinking that is totally different from God's viewpoint. We must set ourselves to learn His viewpoint and make it ours.

In any subject we care to master (tennis, bridge, computer games, a foreign language, math) the more we study and practice it, the faster and better we learn it. Daily practice is the best. So why not apply that obvious principle to the most important thing of all: our spiritual lives and relationship with God? Through the daily study of God's word I come to learn what is truth and what is false.

It's not just knowledge of the word of God, however, that helps me choose my reading material. I also rely on the filling of the Holy Spirit to guide me. If I start a book and don't like the things I'm reading... I quit.

I suggest you do likewise. If you don't feel led to read a book at all, don't. If you read something by an author that you see is very much against the Word but is being presented as fine and even good or normal, stop and don't read any more by that author. I have a couple of authors whose past work I've loved but who are moving in directions I don't care for. Life is short. You don't have to finish every book you start and you certainly don't have to read all the books you think you might like to or that people tell you you should. (Also, if I'm not completely caught by a book in the first chapter or so, I often skim through to find out where it's going, how it ends. If I don't like it, I set it aside, which is just what I did -- standing in the store -- with Philip Pullman's Dark Materials trilogy .)

You're right to be concerned about all this. We are to take care what we hear and see and read...

Tomorrow, Part 2: A few things that help me to select and enjoy secular books.

Grace,
Karen