I went for my second therapy session yesterday. My physical therapist (Jeff) first had me put my arm in a tank of melted paraffin. That was pretty cool -- er -- hot, actually. But when I pulled my arm out and had a wax hand, that was cool. Then he wrapped it in plastic wrap, then some kind of quilted thingie that had been heating in a steam bath and finally a blanket. Then I sat there for a bit and let it all sink in. That was the good part.After everything was nice and warm, he took it all off, including the paraffin, and started cranking on my arm. The two places with the most limited range of movement are bending my hand back from the wrist, and trying to turn it over, palm up with elbow locked at the waist. Even with lots of work and pressure, the muscles/tendons hardly gave at all in either area. Progress is minimal. And of course my wrist, which doesn't care for such abuse, tends to swell and ache in reaction afterward. I do have a brace, but Jeff recommended I use it as little as possible.
At the moment, my most regular use of it is in the middle of the night, when I wake up to a throbbing wrist and grope around in the dark for the brace. Putting it on brings swift relief and I fall back to sleep until morning, when I take it off again.
The whole process has made me think of things spiritual and how much time, teaching and pressure it takes to transform us. How so often in our lives we see no progress at all, even as we know that God is at work in us. Staring at my stubborn wrist, especially when I'm trying to pull it around palm up, and seeing such resistance, seeing maybe a hair's breadth worth of movement, is a great visual aid to compare with things invisible.
And what of Black Box?, some ask. It's coming along slowly (I finished going through chapter 3 and making changes today), but I am not in the least alarmed. I just feel very calm, very placid, very much at peace about it all. It will get done in the right time. And I am no longer interested in stressing out about it.
So many things have happened lately in my life that have shown me that God really is in control of every little detail, I can hardly think otherwise. Relax, He has been telling me, and let life come to you. I have everything under control. The only thing you need to fear is not entering into the rest I've designed for you to live in. I've really seen it as a choice, and more than that. I've come to the realization that nothing the world has to offer is worth giving up this peace. Yeah, maybe I'll be so relaxed that I won't get the book out "in time" (whatever that is) and lose readers. But you know what? I no longer care. I'd rather have the peace.
Grace,
Karen
PS. The picture is of one huge, 4-parted kite that we saw on our beach walk in Oregon. It was cool, and reminds me of resting and relaxing... so I put it up. The biggest one on the bottom spun in the wind
