Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Let His Plan Unfold

Last week we had some lessons on Thought Testing: the thought conflicts that will inevitably arise in our souls brought on by the fact that we have an old sin nature and we live in the devil's world where we are constantly being bombarded with lies about what life is all about.

Today, I had the lab part of that class. Remember I said I wanted to have ch31/32 done over the weekend? Didn't happen. Then I thought it would be nice if I could have them done yesterday. Nope. They are developing, just very slowly. Today, then, I thought. But though I continued to progress today, they still aren't done.

Sometime around midmorning, when the approaching new deadline and my lack of progress got to me yet again, I went and dug out something I'd written about this very thing some time before...

Don’t try to plan too much, take control…let God’s plan and guidance unfold moment by moment with the book as you do with your day. There's always time to do the will of God.

I keep wanting to see it all now, but almost nothing does He do that way. He releases information slowly, whether it is about Himself, or about me, or, I see, about this book. It is a gradual, day by day thing that I cannot control, despite my repeated attempts to do so. When I think about the future, I only get frantic. I know this. I know I have to do it one day at a time and NOT think about the future. I have to come to work and see what He gives me and be satisfied with that. I have to keep living in the spiritual life really, truly trust that He WILL see it through. It will happen. But not by me doing... well, anything different than I'm doing. I don't think the fault lies with me. Except in my muleheadedness in continuing to demand my timing on all this. When I let go of that, everything's fine.

The thing is, the story is already there. God knows exactly what it’s going to be. He could dump it all into my mind in an instant, but He has not. Nor will He. Because it’s a privilege for me to struggle with it—to continue to have opportunity to be patient, to apply truth, especially as the time grows ever shorter. To remember that this is not “my” work. It does not have to be done according to “my” standards and in “my” timing. When I get upset and frustrated and desperate and guilty—that’s wrong motivation. That’s the old nature trying to take control and achieve. When this life is not at all about achievement.

Life is not at all about achievement. No. It's about mental attitude. It doesn't matter at all what you achieve as far as the world is concerned, if your mental attitude is wrong, if your thinking and motivation are wrong and you are operating in the wrong power (human, rather than the Spirit) then you've achieved wood, hay and straw. If your mental attitude is right, then even if what you're trying to do falls to nothing, you've got gold, silver, precious stones.

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