Actually I started out asking the Lord for some encouragement. Sometimes it gets scary looking at how little I have accomplished in the month and how much appears to remain. Thoughts I'm not supposed to be entertaining start banging loudly on my door, demanding entrance. So I specifically asked for the encouragement to come in the form of some measurable progress. Could I please finish chapter 9 today? If not that, of course I would take whatever encouragement He gave since I knew He knew exactly what I needed.
Well, He said no to the measurable progress, but yes to the encouragement.
In the morning I did some nonstops, watched the penguins, sat at the back window and stared at the yard, walked laps, went to my desk and pulled out all the effects that resulted from chapter 7 and turned them into causes for chapter 9. I figured some things out, answered some old questions, came up with new ones, read through the notes several times... but nothing clicked. Was there something more I should be doing? Was I not concentrating enough? Should I be more decisive? Or was it just not ripe yet and I needed to wait some more? But, Lord... I protested, we're running out of time here!
Then about 5 pm, I tuned into Bible class -- live -- and from three thousand miles away the Pastor was talking about 2 Peter 1:4 and how we become partakers in the divine nature: by hearing and believing the promises God has given us. Then he started running through a bunch of them:
Casting all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. -- 1 Pe5:7
My God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. -- Phil 4:16
Do not fear. Stand by and see the deliverance of the LORD... the LORD will fight for you while you keep silent -- Ex 14:13,14
Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Hiim and He will do it. -- Psalm 37:5,6
I have set the LORD continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Ps 16:8
Wait for the LORD -- Have PATIENCE! -- Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD. Ps 27:14
"You've got to wait for the Lord," he said, "because if it doesn't come from Him you don't want it. It takes courage to have patience. If I search for it myself, grasp for it myself, it won't be from Him and it won't be right."
There were lots more, but the latter verse and commentary really struck me since that was exactly my question earlier in the day. Am I really just to wait for things to emerge? Yes.
Okay, then. To use my airplane analogy, I shall go back to my seat and relax and let the pilot fly the plane without me. God's the one with the deadline problem, not me!