A New Review and Answering Comments

Another Blog Tour review on Return of the Guardian King has come in from participant April Erwin. She's the one who didn't want to start the series at the end but had a friend who was already caught up and willing to read the book for a guest blogging stint. It's a great review, though it is very heavy on spoilers. If you've not read the book and don't want to know how it ends, you might take care to skip the parts she's marked off as spoiler-filled. If you have read it, enjoy the review en toto. I sure did. There are two parts and you can read them here: Part 1 and Part 2

Now for a few comments on yesterday's comments and the random musings they generated...

Rebecca said, "How do you say, "I loved it I loved it I loved it!" in a way that is both interesting and compelling?" She has a good point -- especially when you're trying not to give away important plot points in a review. I thought you did a fine job of doing it, though, Rebecca.

But I also wonder (and this is from looking at myself) why is it that all the specifics of what we don't like seem to come rushing up to the surface, whereas when we really like something it only seems to be emotion that rushes up. Maybe it's the emotion that makes us not really want to stop and pick the beloved apart. We don't want to think, we just want to revel in the feeling of being delighted. Hmm. Is that something like Love is Blind?

[Congratulations on your 100 rejection letters, Rebecca. I used to reward myself with a box of Sees with every 100 I collected -- papering the walls with them just did not seem that appealing. Now I think I've thrown them away. They were pretty repetitive anyway... "Dear Writer, thank you for your recent submission. Alas it did not suit our... "]

Shannon, the less than positives are really like cockatrice eggs for me. At first they have no effect. It's only when I go back to my work in progress that they hatch. Suddenly I can't write. "No one likes what I do anyway," moans the inner Eeyore voice, "so why try?" (Notice the instant switch there to global thinking: one person disliking one small aspect of something I'd written has ballooned into no one on the entire planet liking anything I've ever written and ever will. I understand this is a common writerly trait as well -- going instantly global in one's reaction. I'm learning to recognize it and put it aside.). I also get this reaction from reading negative comments about other writers' works.

Golden Fool... hmmm. Some of it I love. Some of it... I don't. The feminism. The gender issues with the Fool... Oh! Look! I'm being specific about the negatives... Hmph!

Okay, then, I shall set myself to be specific about the positives. I LOVE her writing. I love

"...when I drew the blade, it whispered death as it came free from the sheath and balanced like a bird on my fingers."

Or

"... all of life chafed against me. Then the wolf would heave himself to his feet with a sigh and come to lean against me. A thrust of his muzzle would put his broad-skulled head under my hand."

(that last was from the first book in the Tawny Man trilogy, Fool's Errand) I love the tidbits of truth that are sprinkled through her work. Like what the aforementioned wolf says to the hero, Fitz, in response to his chafing:

"Stop longing. You poison today's ease, reaching always for tomorrow. The boy will come back when he comes back. What is there to grieve over in that?"

Or this, which actually came before the part about chafing:

"There was nothing wrong with my life. I worked in my garden, I finished the repairs to my long-neglected cottage, and in the early morning and summer twilight, I hunted with my wolf. I filled my days with good and simple things. The weather held fine. I had the warmth of the sun on my shoulders as I labored, the swiftness of the wind against my cheeks when I walked the sea cliffs in the evening, and the richness of the loamy earth in my garden. Peace but waited for me to give myself up to it. The fault was in me that I held back from it."

How dead-on is that a description of so many of us as believers? Always, in every circumstance, the peace of God but waits for us to give ourselves up to it. The fault is always in us that we hold back.

I love the complexity of her stories, her world, her characters. I love that Fitz is a prince, a should-be king, and no one can know his true identty save a few at the very top -- queen, official prince, queen's counselor. I love when various other characters finally figure out who he really is. (Hmm, that story line does sound familiar, doesn't it?)

His trials are immense, and while I don't love that, something about it does draw me. When his wolf died, I related FAR too strongly. And yet go back to reread that scene again and again because she carried it off so exquisitely... There are successes, too. Not as many, or as great as I'd like, but enough. And there are just a zillion other things about the way the characters relate to one another, love one another, cause problems for one another...

I see I will have to do an entire post on this matter...

Marci, thanks for restraining your thorns and best wishes on your new born book.

Becky... you're right, I don't think writers realize how valuable commenting on the blogs is. I don't think I did. It just seems polite to express my gratitude. After all, no one out there has to pay even a moment's worth of attention to me or my work if they choose not to, so I'm always grateful when they do. And yes, I do have a list and will get to those promised spin-off posts. Right now I'm thinking one may appear tomorrow... so check back if you're interested in my attempts to "give an answer for the hope that is within you." (Not that I've been asked, mind. This is just practice in case I ever am.)

Grace,
Karen

Post Tour Reflections & Other Things

Echinocereus flowers

It's spring in the desert: the blue, blue sky overhead, the purple mountains looming at the end of roads lined by brilliant yellow paloverde... The cactus are all blooming, as are my amaryllis -- a white and a red. A pair of flycatchers are making a nest in the paloverde across the street, and yesterday I found five lemons on my poor lemon tree -- which was hit very hard by the snow this winter. Five lemons! Hooray.

The tour is over. Return of the Guardian King has been officially launched (as far as I'm concerned, anyway), and I want to say thanks again to all who participated. The praise was by turns extravagant, gratifying, embarrassing, hard to believe, heart warming, giggle-producing and sobering.

The complaints were... difficult. They're always difficult, and bring out my very human tendancy to put way more emphasis on the negative than on the positive. I could get twenty reader letters praising my work to the skies, but the one that tells me all the things the reader thought I'd done wrong -- that's the one I take to heart. For awhile anyway. It's weird how that is. We do the same thing in contemplating the future. A weird medical test comes back and we fear the worst instead of focusing on the best. We submit our book to an editor and it seems much more likely the editor will NOT like it, than it does that he (or she) will.

Or maybe some people are just like that -- those with a tendancy toward pessimism. The optimists are on the other side, always, and, sometimes even delusionally, assuming the best.

Delusions aside, I have to say that optimism in general is much more suitable for members of God's Royal Family than pessimism. We all know how our story ends, after all -- in heaven with our Loving Father forever. If God is for us, if He loves us with a perfect, intimate, never faltering love, how can we be pessimistic? We can't, and I have gotten away from the pessimism as I've grown. But taking negative comments too seriously is still a weakness I cave in to far too often.

On the other hand, the complaints do make you think. Do I agree with what's been said? Is this perceived fault actually a fault? Or just a preference? Or perhaps -- and I'm seeing this more and more -- the result of a reader bringing a different frame of reference to the work than I did. Change the frame of reference, change the template with which you view the events of the story and perhaps the fault will disappear. It might even become a strength. I have some things to say about that with respect to one of Dean Koontz's books as well as my own... But not tonight.

The vast majority of tour posts, though, were not complaints but fun, interesting, creative, instructive, enlightening and funny. I am so grateful that people took time out of their busy days to read my book(s) and then blog about them. And I learned many things from it all. I learned to sit back, relax and watch things unfold rather than jump to hasty conclusions. I learned that some readers came to my books in the first volume, struggled with elements they saw as flaws and faults and later, when their perception changed, looked at it all differently. I learned that people prefer to comment on thorns than rosebuds , and that some thorns can be quite amusing. I learned how bizarre it is to have one's work analyzed as some kind of standard for others to learn from. I learned that there are more typos in the book than just on page 185. (And participant Heather Hunt finally has her review of RotGK posted over at Title Trakk. Thanks Heather!)

John Otte's post on my depiction of Christianity in RotGK was particularly gratifying and his final Wednesday post, Sin Boldly, was great. If you've not read that one, I encourage you to do so.

I also learned through this tour that there really are Christians who do not believe that we have a sin nature, and do not believe the Scriptures teach that. I read those words with my mouth hanging open. Then I closed my mouth and decided I would challenge myself to lay out some of the reasons I do believe the Scripture teaches we have a sin nature, even as Christians.

But not tonight. Tonight I'm tired. I've stayed up way too late the last too nights reading Golden Fool (Robin Hobb), so I'm not going to strain my brain here. I want to be ready to work on Black Box tomorrow, after not spending even one minute on it in the last two weeks. Tomorrow I'll need to find a way to get back into it. My hubby helped me get started tonight on our walk around the park as we discussed electromagnetic pulses and how they might affect a vehicle going at a high rate of speed along a curvy desert road... I'm hoping if I don't push things too hard now I will have more energy for working tomorrow.

Grace,
Karen

And the Winner Is...

.....................................Drum roll.............................

Out of twenty-five entries (23 in the comments, 2 in the email) the winner of the autographed, four-book set of The Legends of the Guardian King is

rjb

also known as

Becki

Congratulations, Becki. If you would email me through the address given in my profile that'd be great. I need a snail mail address to send the books to, and also confirmation of who you want me to sign them to.

Condolences and thanks to the rest of you who entered the contest. And thanks to everyone for all the wonderful comments, reviews, mention, discussions, complaints (okay, maybe those weren't so wonderful...) etc, that made up this blog tour. It's been great, and spawned at least two and maybe three Blog Tour Spinoff ideas for posts that should show up in coming days. I hope some of you have been encouraged to read the books by all the interesting, informative and enthusiastic posts.

Grace,

Karen

Making the Invisible Visible

Though my books are often termed allegory, I have never really thought of what I do as allegory. According to the Encarta dictionary’s definition, allegory is “a work in which the characters and events are to be understood as representing other things and symbolically expressing a deeper, often spiritual, moral, or political meaning.” As I mentioned elsewhere you’re not supposed to blend the two. On the surface the thing that’s being allegorized should not actually show up in the work.

So, if I want to portray God in allegorical fashion, it’s okay if He shows up as a human father (or animal father) in a story, but not if he shows up as… well… God. The problem is, I know God exists. I believe that Jesus Christ is the second person of the trinity, took on the form of a man and came to earth to die for my sins. I love that. But that’s not really want I want to analogize. Those seem to me to be obvious, basic truths. I want to go farther than that. I want to analogize elements of the Christian life in order to get more at the truths embodied there. And to do that, it’s much easier on everyone if you just start out with God as God, or Eidon, in this case, and go from there.

So maybe I don't write allegory at all. Maybe what I do, as one of my friends suggested, is make the invisible visible.

The Christian life is largely invisible, since the most important aspects of it reside in the mind. Motivation matters more than what is actually done. Do good things in the wrong power system and it turns out to be wood, hay, straw. We can’t see what’s in each other’s hearts… so what looks to us like good might actually be failure and often what looks like failure (I’m thinking of the cross in particular) is great victory. The battle we face as Christians is also largely invisible. It’s not against people, “but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” It's really hard to fight a battle when you can't see the enemy and don't know where he's coming from.

So here is what I do. I study the principles of the Christian life on a day by day basis. This is a vast amount of information, of which I retain a pathetically small amount, but nevertheless quite a body of material from which to draw. This I assimilate into my thinking and then try to apply to my life, usually a process akin to learning to ride bicycle: there’s lots of wobbling, falling down and messing up. It’s an ongoing process wherein I learn about myself, the principles, how exactly they apply, and God – who He is, how He operates, and how He deals with me.

As part of that process I find myself making analogies of how a certain principle in God's word is like some physical aspect of life. Eg, the believer at salvation is to be like a caterpillar upon hatching – it eats and eats and eats until one day it’s eaten enough that its body can form a cocoon or chrysalis. Thus protected, its insides turn to mush and then reform into a butterfly…. (Lately I’ve been relating a lot to the mush part). I do this a lot as part of my own way of understanding truth, life and how it all fits together.

My stories are an outworking of this function. Fantasy is full of great analogous tropes, and so I’ve chosen it for the foundation of my work. The essay, In Defense of Fantasy on my website goes into this in detail so I won’t here. I enjoy using those stock elements in building a story that can fairly directly communicate what I’ve learned and what I value.

Of course life and especially the spiritual life is far too vast, complex and mysterious to be able to codify all the elements in a tidy, coherent one for one pattern. Even assuming I could understand it all, which I can’t. So I set up a few general parameters for the world and the magic, parameters that reflect essential truths in our real world, and go from there.

In Legends of the Guardian King, these include Eidon, Tersius, Moroq, the Light, the golden shield, rhu’ema, rhu’ema spawn and spore. This is my playground, as it were, and from there I start to build my story and world. At this point all the things I’ve chosen now have to be developed into something visible. Fleshed out, given background, interconnections, logical ramifications… Which is pretty standard world building/plotting practice.

That’s mostly a side issue though, because what I’m really interested in are the characters and their relationships with each other and with God. Most of the things I portray and struggles I deal with are reminiscent of struggles I’ve gone through and of the ways I’ve resolved them. Or else the ways I think I would resolve them.

And even all of this sounds way more cognizant that it seems in practice. (I feel like that caterpillar trying to explain how it walks.) Here’s what happens when I sit down to write. I know that the world of Eidon is different from ours, and yet for me, somehow, it’s the same. I’m made a different world, with creatures, physical laws, histories and spiritual aspects that are not our world. But similar to it. So I write it, and it relates and yet it doesn’t. I’m making visible what is invisible in our world. By that token it’s one for one. But I don’t sit down and plan it all out. More times than I wish things just appear in the story and I sit back and ask “What’s up with this? Where is this supposed to go?” Usually I think it’s cool, whatever it is, and conclude that the Lord has some purpose in it, so I let it stay and move on, trusting that eventually its place and purpose will become clear.

And eventually, for the most part, it does all come together. At least sufficiently to satisfy me, if not all my readers. :-)

Grace,
Karen

Highlights from the RotGK Blog Tour

Rebecca Luella Miller has started a three-part series discussing something very unusual when it comes to discussions of this sort -- what she thinks was done right in the Legends of the Guardian King series. I find that immensely refreshing and advise you to check it out on her Speculative Faith post for Monday, with follow ups Tuesday (today for those of you reading through Feedblitz) and Wednesday on her own blog, A Christian Worldview of Fiction.

Rebecca Grabill has posted a very clever and endearing "Review that... Wasn't." Thanks, Rebecca. I'm still chuckling. And lest anyone think she is all rosebuds with regard to reviewing the book (heaven forbid!), she has promised to present the thorns on Day Two. I can only hope it will be something along the lines of "The Thorns that...Weren't." ;-)

Beth Goddard is hoping to repost links to reviews of the earlier books in the series on Tuesday and is offering a contest of sorts for those who drop by and comment on "which of Karen's books, specifically which scene, affected you most in spiritual terms." She'll choose one of the commenters to win a free copy of any of my books they desire. I've really enjoyed the different scenes people are noting as having stood out for them. Why am I not surprised that they're all different?

Sharon Hinck also has a lovely review up of LOE, and offers a bit of retrospective as to how we became friends.

Gene Curtis has posted a very interesting piece on sales rankings, and has thrown out the suggestion of starting a targeted buying campaign to see if people can get Return of the Guardian King onto Amazon's best-selling list. I admit to skepticism, but I'd be fascinated to see if it really would make any difference. Check his blog for the details.

Kameron M. Franklin has posted a his take on the strengths and weaknesses of RotGK with regard to literary/craft aspects. While overall he enjoyed the book and would recommend it, he was nevertheless disappointed with it on account of some of those weaknesses and also some theological issues which he will discuss Tuesday.

(Kameron, let me thank you here for taking the time to read and review the book. I tried to leave a comment on your blog, but wordpress wouldn't let me. I appreciate the opportunity to get a glimpse of your viewpoint, and have to say I even agree with you on some of the weaknesses you cited.)

Likewise blogger John W. Otte, a Lutheran pastor, enjoyed the book overall, but found the ending less than he'd hoped for. "A good ending," he pronounced it, "but not a perfect one." In his opinion. (And I loved that he made a point of saying that!) He, too plans to discuss on Tuesday the theology or, as he puts it, the "depiction of Christianity in the series."

Other bloggers who promised reviews on Tuesday were Tina Kulesa, Chawna Schroeder, April Erwin, Wayne Thomas Batson (who has been all over with his fun and enthusiastic comments -- thanks Wayne!), Dawn King, and Karri Compton. Heather R. Hunt reviewed the book for Title Trakk and will be posting her review on her blog as soon as it is up on Title Trakk.

Also check back with Chris Deanne's and Shannon McNear's blogs for the completion of both the interviews each of them did with me. Shannon's interview questions were particularly challenging to answer because they were so different. (What did you learn through writing this book, spiritually as well as writingwise or any other way? How do you feel you've grown since Arena and Light of Eidon? How was the writing process different for RotGk than the others?) I hope you'll enjoy the results.

And please note, the recommendation for Blog tour participants is that they post all three days. If they can't do that, then they're to put up at least one post relating to the featured subject sometime during the tour. So if you have cycled through all the names on the list Monday and found some bloggers who have not yet posted anything, check back Tuesday or Wednesday.

Enjoy the Tour and if you haven't signed up for the giveaway I'm sponsoring (an autographed set of all four of the Legends of the Guardian King books) please leave a comment telling me you'd like to be entered, or send me an email if Blogger won't let you comment. I'll announce the winner Wednesday evening (or Thursday through Feedblitz)

Here are the rest of the bloggers participating in this tour:

Nissa Annakindt; Jim Black; Grace Bridges; Jackie Castle; Valerie Comer; Frank Creed; CSFF Blog Tour; D. G. D. Davidson; Janey DeMeo; Linda Gilmore; Marcus Goodyear; Andrea Graham; Jill Hart; Katie Hart;Sherrie Hibbs; Christopher Hopper; Becca Johnson; Jason Joyner; Karen;
Lost Genre Guild; Kevin Lucia and The Bookshelf Reviews 2.0 - The Compendium; Rachel Marks; Caleb Newell; Nicole; Eve Nielsen; Robin Parrish; Rachelle; Cheryl Russel; Hanna Sandvig; Mirtika Schultz; James Somers; Tsaba House Authors; Steve Trower; Daniel I. Weaver

Grace,
Karen

CSFF Blog Tour: Return of the Guardian King

Monday (or today, depending on when you are reading this) marks the first day of the April Christian Science Fiction and Fantasy (CSFF) Blog Tour featuring the final volume in my Legends of the Guardian-King Series, Return of the Guardian King.

I have done interviews for both Chris Deanne's and Shannon McNear's blogs, and those should be up, if not Monday, then sometime during the tour. Check out other participants for reviews, commentary and discussion. Shannon is heading up the tour, so you can start with her blog for a list of participants or scroll on down for the list here.

It's an amazing thing for me to see this book released and in print. As I mentioned in the interview on Chris's blog, when I arrived at Mt. Hermon with Arena in proposal form in 1999, no one was doing fantasy. In fact, I was told that fantasy was a bad word and shouldn't even be used. The moment you said you were doing fantasy, you would immediately be compared to Tolkien or Eddings and no one can stand up to that. So, as I think some of you know, I called it "Speculative Historical Fiction."

When I sat at the tables with various editors and agents and it was my turn to say what I was writing, some of them literally shrank away. The lights went off, the shades were drawn and they went quickly on to the next person. Several editors were kinder -- they told me that they themselves loved the genre, but they'd never be able to get it past their editorial board. The result was the same... on to the next person

When Bethany House did buy the Guardian-King series -- solely on the basis of the reviews for Arena, not on any hard sales figures at that point -- they gave me a descending advance structure as I've mentioned. The signing advance for Return of the Guardian King was about 10% of the total advance, which was a pretty good indication the publishers thought it might not ever leave the nest. I'm so glad the Lord has seen fit to allow it to do just that.

In celebration of RotGK's release, the completion of the series, and of this blog tour, I'm holding a giveaway drawing. If you would like to be in the drawing for a complete autographed set of Legends of the Guardian-King, please leave a comment for me today through Wednesday saying so. I'll choose from the entrants' names Wednesday evening and post the winner Thursday. You only need to leave one comment telling me you want to be in the drawing. If Blogger won't let you comment, you can send me an email through the address given in the profile. Be sure you put something like Blog giveaway in the subject line so it won't get lost in the junk mail.

Coming tomorrow -- highlights of the tour and part one of my two part article, "Making the Invisible Visible."

Here are the other participants (If you checked earlier, links have been fixed now; sorry about that):

Nissa Annakindt
Wayne Thomas Batson
Jim Black
Grace Bridges
Jackie Castle
Valerie Comer
Karri Compton
Frank Creed
CSFF Blog Tour
Gene Curtis
D. G. D. Davidson
Chris Deanne
Janey DeMeo
April Erwin
Kameron M. Franklin
Linda Gilmore
Beth Goddard
Marcus Goodyear
Rebecca Grabill
Andrea Graham
Jill Hart
Katie Hart
Sherrie Hibbs
Sharon Hinck
Christopher Hopper
Heather R. Hunt
Becca Johnson
Jason Joyner
Dawn King
Karen
Tina Kulesa
Lost Genre Guild
Kevin Lucia and The Bookshelf Reviews 2.0 - The Compendium
Rachel Marks
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Shannon McNear
Caleb Newell
Nicole
Eve Nielsen
John W. Otte
Robin Parrish
Rachelle
Cheryl Russel
Hanna Sandvig
Chawna Schroeder
Mirtika Schultz
James Somers
Tsaba House Authors
Steve Trower
Speculative Faith
Daniel I. Weaver

Enjoy!
Karen

Book Availability

Notice!

Mark your calendars! The Christian Science Fiction and Fantasy Blog tour featuring Return of the Guardian-King is coming up NEXT Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, April 16, 17 and 18. There'll be reviews, book giveaways, commentary and at least a couple of interviews. Should be fun.

On to today's subject. I've been hearing from a few readers who've gone to various bookstores in their area looking for Return of the Guardian King only to leave empty-handed. I'm not sure if they asked the sales staff for the book/s or not, but if you do go to a store and don't find it, please do ask.

Some readers have reported that after asking, the sales person goes looking and finds the books arrived but still in a box in the back. Or on a book truck waiting to be shelved. Asking will also let you know if the store has the books on order and when they might be coming. At the least you can order one if they don't have any coming. All the Guardian King books are still in print, and should be available at the least by special order from any of your local bookstores. And if not that, there's always Amazon!

It's only with the huge sellers that publishers announce a release date, then force every bookstore who gets a shipment to wait until that date to make the books available for sale. They also make sure that all the stores have the books, sometimes for days in advance, and of course there is a great deal of publicity and hooplah to let everyone know when the books will be available. Then all the fans line up for hours to buy their books and maybe even get them signed by the author.

For lesser selling titles, this doesn't happen. The books don't burst out on the scene, they trickle. I've had experiences here in Tucson where one of my books was supposed to release August 1 and a friend went in to the local Christian bookstore to order it. First she was told they couldn't order it and to come back later. She did, and was able to order it then, but then the books didn't come and didn't come and finally she went to Barnes and Noble sometime toward the end of August and found a copy there. Two weeks later the Christian bookstore's copies had arrived. Their loss, I guess. (I'm sure they're crushed.)

I was in the store one day talking to the woman who does the ordering and she tried to explain their rather bizarre system. They all work through distributors. The distributors order a certain number of copies from the publisher. When they get the books into their warehouse then the smaller bookstores who do business with them can order the books. The distributor for our local store had four regions it serviced. Even though the other three regions had listings of my books available, the region that serviced Arizona did not. She had to wait until that region had books before she could order anything.

It seems very inefficient to me, but what do I know about running a bookstore? I know it is a difficult business. Also, they have only a limited amount of shelf space. And I've heard that publishers even pay for a certain amount of guaranteed space. I don't know how widespread this is, if all publishers do it, if they only do it for certain titles, or what, but the fact remains shelf space is a valued commodity. There are always new books coming out, so if the old books haven't yet sold, they will be pushed away to make way for the new. This is at the publisher's request, I'm told (I believe I've written about that here before.

Since my last release was in November of 2005, it's no surprise there might not be any copies of my books on the shelves in late March or even early April 2007. (One reason why publishers want writers to hurry up and turn out their successive series books swiftly; though I'm also told series books, once in demand, no longer are so desirable.)

Finally, there might be one other explanation for some of the difficulty readers have expressed in finding my books and that's because they've been sold out. I've heard from at least one bookstore manager where this was indeed the case, and they are ordering more. That was happy news!

But the biggest most helpful thing you can do as a reader in search of the book is to ask the salespeople about it. Do they have it somewhere? Have they ordered it? Have they sold out? Have they ordered any of the preceding volumes? Even if you don't end up buying the book there, you will have let the bookstore know that there is some interest in it. If they get enough requests, they might even start carrying it.

Grace,
Karen

The Lady in the Water

Last weekend, on Saturday night, we watched The Lady in the Water. I tend to like M. Night Shyamalan's movies and this was no exception, though I thought at the beginning I might not. It starts with a goofy little story about sea people trying to reach out to humans to help them, if only the humans would listen. There is fear that the humans have perhaps lost the ability to hear...

The term "sea people" makes me think of demons, incarcerated under the sea, and I didn't the like the idea of them reaching out to help us, nor the little pictographs they used to illustrate the story. Humph. I don't know about this...

Then the first person you see is Paul Giamatti, who I really liked in The Illusionist, so I stayed with it. It is a bizarre little movie, about the manager of an apartment complex who rescues a woman from the complex's pool only to discover she is a character in a Chinese bedtime story (one of the aforementioned sea people) trying to complete the mission she was sent on and go home. Only trouble is, she has very little information as to the specifics of that mission, and there are nasty creatures trying to stop her from fulfilling it.

There were times when I noticed that it was moving a bit slowly, as I did in The Village, but I didn't particularly mind because I was intrigued. It has suspense, weirdness, off the wall, even whimsical moments, and when it was all over I found myself rather pleased. My first notion was that it was a wonderful metaphor for the body of Christ. For us trying to figure out what we're to do, where we fit, and who we are. Concepts of "not many mighty are called" came to mind.

The next morning I woke up and realized it's also an extended metaphor for writing a story. Complete with a critic. You'd think I'd have seen that part first since the girl's name is Story. But...I didn't. Once the doors opened, though, all kinds of things fell into place and I loved it. I think I might have to own it and see it again.

Grace,
Karen

Blog Tour Preparations

Yesterday I wrote my newsletter and got it set up and sent. I also think I rested after a very busy weekend, though I wasn't aware of it at the time. Instead I was dismayed to find myself with no motivation or initiative, and slipped into condemnation/frenzy mode. That is a weird and irrational state of mind wherein I fret and feel anxious while trying to decide if I should write the newsletter or work on Black Box, both seeming equally urgent. Finally, unable to decide, I leave them both undone and go off to talk on the phone or read a book, during which time I am completely relaxed. What's up with that? Actually, I think the real problem, as I said, was that I was more tired than I realized because when I woke up this morning I had no problem getting to work.

Today I also realized that I was once again trying to change time. I had the idea that I should do all my normal things in the new little routine I've made up -- housework, write, exercise, Bible class -- and in addition, compose the newsletter, sign, package and mail books, and write out the answers to one blogger's interview questions for the Christian Science Fiction and Fantasy Blog tour coming up next week (the one that's featuring Return of the Guardian King) all in the same amount of time.

I have this weird problem with time skewing. I remember once when we were driving up to Greer, AZ. We had a set amount of miles to go and we were traveling a constant rate of speed. Simple math proved it would take us a full hour yet I kept hoping -- fervently -- that it would only take us half an hour. I was doing that yesterday with all my "To Do's". I stopped doing it today. Obviously I cannot do double the work in the same time, so that meant I had to cut out some of the work. Black Box, the least urgent, is now "simmering" while I work on next week's interview.

The questions are good. They take a lot of thought and then, once I've answered, more thought and revision. I've also come up with two ideas and a good deal of text for my own posts next week. We'll see if they actually get posted.

I've also been getting some phenomenal responses to Return of the Guardian King as readers begin to contact me after having finished it. Not just simple "I loved it!" emails, but fairly lengthy missives detailing the reader's reactions. After months of not too much of this, and more months of wondering if the book was ever going to work, this is sweet, and I am very grateful.

A part of me is also giving the other part of me a stern shake and saying, "See what an idiot you were to doubt your Father? He knew all along, and you had no reason to lose your confidence in Him for even one moment." I know, I know. And every time this kind of thing happens, it's that much more of a store of things I have to fall back on when things get dicey again, as I know they will. I remember reading through my journals for previous books while I was writing RotGK and finding the same fears. But every time I sidestepped the truth with the claim that "this one is different." Well, it may be the book itself is different, and it may be that I am different, and the time is different, but the gift is the same and so is my Lord. Maybe on this next time I will really remember that.

Grace,
Karen

Passion of the Christ

Over the weekend a group of us gathered together to watch The Passion of the Christ as a prelude to our Resurrection Day celebration. Afterward we talked about it, and agreed that the whole time you're watching it, you're thinking doctrine. ("Doctrine" referring to the principles of the word of God that we have learned.) In celebrating Communion, part of the purpose is to bring into remembrance Jesus's spiritual death on the cross, His victory over Satan, and His Resurrection. Even though I wish every time that the movie would have brought in the deep supernatural darkness that covered the hill from noon to three when He was actually bearing the world's sins, it still does a phenomenal job of bringing what He did to remembrance. It gives you a visual picture, a taste of the fact that this was a real event, that this person was a real person, a real man who, because I have believed in Him, now lives inside me. Even as He's seated at the Father's right hand in heaven.

To think that it really happened, and that He did it for me is worthy of extended contemplation. As is the fact that everything in the movie still isn't as bad as it actually was (his face totally disfigured beyond even looking human, his clothing stripped away, his beard plucked out) or as bad as the last three hours of the ordeal, when he was being made sin for us on that cross.

To think He went through all that using the same power available to me now as a church age believer (the power of the Holy spirit, the power of the word...) is mind-boggling. It shouts of the need to take our spiritual lives very seriously, and not to squander the power we've been given.

To ask yourself if, after someone pays that kind of price to buy you out of a slave market, would you, the moment you stepped out of that market and into his possession, then run off on your own initiative gathering flowers to give him as thanks? Or rush about telling others what he's done? You're a slave. You aren't supposed to be running around. You're supposed to be with your master, whom you barely even know at that point.

Shouldn't you, if you are truly grateful for what He's done and aware that you are a slave, bought at a terrible price - shouldn't you want to focus on him intently to see what kind of man he is? What his likes and dislikes are? What he wants you to do? And only then go off to do his bidding?

Since He's invisible to us now, and we have only His word as our visible means of contact, doesn't it make sense to focus on what He said in it? All of it? If He is the creator and ruler of the Universe, and all other areas of study and inquiry into the workings of that Universe (physics, astronomy, biology, mathematics, etc.) are complex, big and full of hidden truth, doesn't it seem logical that the Bible is even more so? Something more worthy of greater study than any other discipline known to man? Indeed, how could there be any area more complex, more mysterious, more difficult to grasp, yet more vital to our lives, than the study of who God is and what He'd done for us?

And, no matter how excited or grateful one might feel, to run off immediately after salvation with the intent of doing great things for Him puts the cart before the horse. His thoughts are not ours, after all. What if your great things not what He wants?

In fact, I don't believe that is what He wants. He is the one who does the great things. We are the ones who receive them. We have to have the humility to realize that we don't know very much about Him, especially right after salvation. And just relying on what we think or what others might tell us, without looking to see if His word agrees seems a dangerous course of action to me. It presumes much that should not be presumed.

Hence the need to sit down and study His word from someone who can teach you -- your pastor who was given to equip the saints for the work of service. You study and wait until the Lord decides you're ready and moves you out into whatever area of service He has for you. And even then, it's Him who does the great things. Not us. As we are saved so we walk -- by faith, not by sight, not by the law, not by works.

Grace,
Karen

Resurrection Sunday

It's interesting how much attention Christmas gets compared to how much is given to the celebration of our Lord's Death and Resurrection. Is it truly more amazing that God the son, creator and ruler of the universe left his throne to come to earth to take on the form of a man -- a baby, no less -- than it is He should, as a man grown, allow other men, fallen men to distort laws He had given them, unjustly arrest and try Him, then beat Him until He no longer even looked human and finally nail Him to a cross like a common criminal? He knew exactly what He was getting into. He knew who He was and who they were. He didn't have to do it. He could have refused, could have refused in eternity past when the plan was drawn up. But He didn't.

He came, He lived and He died a horrible death, naked before everyone, and like a lamb before his shearers is dumb he opened not his mouth -- until those last three hours on the cross when darkness covered Calvary and the sins of the world were poured out on Him and judged by the Father. It wasn't His physical death that saved us, it was His spiritual death there on that cross in those three hours, when he was made sin for us and separated from His Father for the first time ever.

How do I know that? Becuase after all the torture He'd endured that day, it was the first time He screamed and the original language says He kept on screaming. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Because when it was over, while he was still on the cross and he was still physically alive, He said "Tetelestai!" It is finished, with the result that it keeps on being finished forever.

What He suffered for us we can't really even comprehend, save that it was worse than any suffering any man has ever endured. With it, He bought our freedom from sin and our entry into eternal life with Him, while we were still His enemies. If only we'll believe in Him.

That's the promise of the Resurrection.

Happy Resurrection Sunday to all of you!

Karen

Adventures in Computering

Yesterday I signed and packed up books, took them to the post office, dropped bookmarks off at the Christian bookstore and met my friends for lunch. Today I hoped to get back to work on Black Box, right after I wrote a quick first draft of my long overdue newsletter, and answered a bit of my once again lengthy backlog of emails. Alas...

Sometimes life is like a treasure hunt. You set out to find one thing and go on this convoluted trip through all sorts of other stops you never envisioned. I did indeed get down a rough draft of the newsletter, though first I had to download Textpad since it hadn't made the jump from my old computer to my new one.

That went off fine, but then, since my newsletter was going to link to an excerpt of Return of the Guardian King, I thought I'd better find one and get it posted on my website. But first I needed to compose a webpage for that book, which I hadn't done yet. So I got those done, no problem and then realized that in addition to Textpad, I also hadn't installed my ftp uploading software on the new computer.

The old program was on a disk, but for some reason wouldn't install on the new computer. So I went looking for another program, downloaded it, and began the task of trying to figure out how to use it. That's the experience that makes you feel something like a chimpanzee, pushing buttons here and there and suddenly something works but you have no idea what exactly, or why. I got the relevant pages uploaded (there were about five in the end) only to discover that the two most important ones had all their links corrupted. And after I painstakingly corrected them all, the excerpt refused to upload...

Frustrated, I finally went back to the disk with the old familiar program again, clicked on something I didn't think would lead to anything and discovered I could actually use it right off the disk, without having to install it. So that's what I did. I had to go back and fix all the corrupted links but once done, the old, familiar ftp program uploaded them just fine. After that it was time to go to the Y.

Oh, and for some reason Feedblitz is not sending out my posts this week, so I also spent some time trying to figure out why. I never did. And when I clicked the Feedblitz link to "contact us" I found myself faced with yet another wizard wanting to help me set up Windows Outlook on my computer so I could email Feedblitz. I don't use Windows Outlook, and didn't know the answers to the questions the wizard was asking me, so I just closed it and wrote to them through Windows Mail. Naturally there has been no response, and the irrational part of me fears it's because I refused to use Outlook.

So, after all that, I got no work done on Black Box. Oh well... There's always tomorrow!

Karen

Scientific Study of the Sin Nature?

Awhile back my friend Ed Willett did a column on why people resist doing what they are told. No one, it seems, likes to be told what to do. Especially if they don't see any good reason to do it. On the other hand, I do think sometimes people do like being told what to do, because then they don't have to think about what they're doing. But it doesn't take much to get them not to want to do what they're told.

Psycologists, says Ed, call this "reactance," and it generally happens when we perceive a rule or restriction as unfair. Recent research at Duke University shows this emotional and sometimes irrational "reactance" can be triggered even when we're unaware of it. But rather than quote from Ed's article, I'll simply send you over to it:

Why Won't You do what You're told?

I think it's endemic to our nature. The original sin of the original sinner was not eating fruit, but going off on a course independent from God's. I speak of Satan, of course, though basically that's what the woman did as well. And the man. All three decided that God's plan stunk and their own was much better. To a large degree that same mindset plagues us all, still, though we are very good at hiding it, camouflaging it, rationalizing it, or maybe, as in the experiment mentioned in Ed's article, not even realizing it. We have sick heads, deceitful hearts, we don't know our own motives half the time, and we are more than capable of carrying a lie in our right hand (the hand of power) and without even knowing it. Look at the Laodicean believers: they thought themselves were rich and wealthy and in need of nothing and did not know they were poor and wretched and miserable and naked. That's quite an indictment of self-evaluation! At least self-evaluation apart from the filling of the Holy Spirit and the truths of God's word.

Something to think about...

Grace,
Karen

True Wealth

One of the things that struck me on the Garden Tour last weekend as we were driving amongst the foothills mansions on Tucson's north side, was that as a child of the king I really wasn't as out of place there as might appear. The mansions' owners, on account of their great wealth, had surrounded themselves with beauty, luxury, security and ease. Whether I ever have that kind of lifestyle in my life on earth or not doesn't really matter, because I know that in not too many years I will have it forever. What is heaven but the ultimate in being surrounded by beauty, luxury, security and ease?

And in heaven we can be assured of enjoying it, while on earth, now in these fallen bodies, that is often not the case. Even if we were given a mansion and all the beautiful things that go with it -- fine furniture, koi ponds, soaring windows, cactus gardens full of exotic African plants -- after awhile we'd become familiar with them, and would gain little more pleasure than I get from finding new buds on my lemon tree after it froze so hard this winter, or from settling into my very comfortable bed at night, or curling up on the not-so-lavish -- but comfy -- couch with a good book.

Those wonderful things are pleasurable, but really only for a season and only in a limited manner. When troubles come, as they always do , all that luxury and beauty really won't bring peace or happiness. But as children of the ruler and creator of the universe, the Papa who owns all the gold and all the silver and the cattle on a thousand hills, we can have something far greater -- the mind of Christ. A mental attitude that finds beauty, luxury and peace in every day that comes along, and that's better than any wealth the world can offer.

Peace,
Karen

2007 Garden Tour

Every year about this time, my mother and I spend a Saturday attending the Tucson Botanical Gardens Home Garden Tour. There are usually from 7 to 8 homes sprinkled about the city that have been selected as part of the self-guiding tour, and they span the gamut from low cost to high, whimsical to contemporary, low-water use to lush and tropical. It's always a fun time, seeing all the different ways people have designed their gardens, both for beauty and for food.

The picture above is from the first house we visited which boasted an incredible cactus garden on a patio/veranda overlooking spectacular views of the city and the mountains. You can get a partial sense of that view from the picture at right.

This year's tour was one of the best we've been on. In fact, because of a usage conflict I had to bring a regular film camera and ran out of film in the front yard of the third house. Unfortunately that was also the one whose owners had transformed the back yard swimming pool and spa into a koi pond.

I had no idea how mesmerized I would be with those fish. They were huge! At least two feet long -- about 17 of them, many of them award winning fish -- and obviously quite weighty. They were drawn to people standing at the pool's edge, weaving back and forth through the water in an intricate dance with a powerful, even regal sort of grace. Mostly they were red-orange and white but there was also among them a golden one. I've read enough about the magical and rare golden carp that it had to have been added on purpose. After I'd stood there awhile, the owner came up and offered me a couple of handfuls of food to feed them with. Boy was that a kick, watching them rise out of the water with gaping, toothless mouths to shovel up food and water both.



I got no pictures of the koi, but I did get at least get a couple of the hedgehog type cactus (echinocereus) blooming near their front driveway. (The huge pink and yellow flowers in the shot at left)







At a different house, I got a big kick out of this entryway with a bright red gate and bright blue post foundations (there has to be a better name for those -- pilons?) Inside is a quiet courtyard with chairs, fountain and flowers. Oh, and the front door, too.


The weather was beautiful (as must be obvious from these pictures), and we had a fine time. You'll be seeing more shots from the various gardens from time to time in this blog. For now I'll end with this shot of the mountains to the north of Tucson, the Santa Catalina's (where a 40 minute drive takes you from saguaros and paloverde trees to aspen and spruce). Note, in particular the cloudless blue sky!


Grace,
Karen

Which Outlet?

One of my commenters on last Sunday's post said he had gotten so excited to learn of RotGK's release that he ordered it from Bethany House, even though he wasn't sure they'd even be ready to send it. That got me to wondering which venue is the quickest for receiving the new release of a not-best-selling book.

I'd love to hear from readers of this blog regarding where you ordered/purchased the book and when you got it. You can email me (see my profile) or leave a comment and I'll do a little report on the results. Since I have a theory that those closest to Bethany House (or the distributer) will get the books quickest, let me know the city and state where you got the book (received it in the mail, or bought it from a store).

I also find it interesting that Amazon gives the release date as April 1, whereas Christian Book says April 20. Another interesting thing is that CBD no longer offers Arena, but Amazon's still selling it new -- though admittedly it's no longer "in stock" and takes 4 - 6 weeks to ship.

Whatever the case, it won't be long now...

Karen

More from Overcoming Writing Blocks

The first stage of any writing task is the training and gestation period.

"You know what you have to do and, overwhelmed as you may feel, you must prepare yourself properly for it. Just as you would prepare yourself for a footrace, so you need to develop basic fitness habits that will get you in shape for prose composition, especially if you know you have a tendency to block.

"More than anything else, your job as a writer at this stage is to cultivate a special quality of receptivity to make yourself as sensitive as possible to faint suggestions about the work that crop up in the back of your mind. Once you know what your task is, you begin to explore it, gathering information, trying out different leads, and generally seeking to encourage the texture of the piece to take clearer and clearer shape in your mind and in your notes."

Reading this I realized that this was smack dab where I was in the process continuum. Because I'd already worked on the book a bit, and even come up with a synopsis and proposal, I thought I was further along than I am.

For one thing, I came up with the the original idea years ago. I'm a different person now. The slot this book must fill is a totally different slot from the one I had conceived it for. So in many ways it really is like starting all over.

Yes, I already have a plotline and even potential scenes -- but those no longer seem appropriate. I don't like them any more. And even some of what I've written just seems lame. So I have to take it as something that is still very early in its gestational period. A period that isn't going to be completed in a day or two, despite my ridiculous hopes that it will be.

What I've decided to do is to just read through all the material without demanding that I make decisions about it. Stop demanding that I wrestle a plot out of it. Just keep reading through it and reading through it, noting whatever occurs to me and maybe doing a few nonstops. I'll read more in Overcoming Writing Blocks as well, for additional ideas of things I can do. And I will keep doing the research that I've started. But more on that later.

Grace,
Karen

Getting Started Again

Yesterday I started out with high hopes for getting in some good work on Black Box. I had my morning chores done quickly, I didn't have to go anywhere, I knew that I would have the whole day to devote to working on this book and I intended to use it to full advantage. After all the interruptions and delays and so forth that I'd encountered since my official beginning of the book, now, finally I was set to go.

Or so I thought. I started developing this book years ago, after I'd written Arena but before it sold -- during the year and a half that Steve Laube held it, waiting for the right moment to approach the editorial board. He'd said in a seminar at Mt. Hermon that if what you want to write is "C," but the market is at "A," you should write "B," that is, something that incorporates elements of the marketable A, but also the passion of your C.

So, operating on the premise that Arena might not sell, I wanted to develop a book that might be more palatable and yet also be a bridge to Arena. So I came up with Black Box -- an alternate world story set in our own world, but still almost as strange as Arena. I think I worked about 10 months on it before Arena sold. After the sale, Steve wanted to know what I was working on for a follow up but when I ran a brief summary of Box by him he nixxed it in about five minutes (literally).

I figured the Lord wanted me to go in another direction so I dropped it and started developing another novel. After that I went back to Eidon and then the Legends of the Guardian-King series. A year ago January I knew I had to present something new to Bethany House and took up Box again. But this time I had no time to spare, because every day devoted to that was another day away from Return of the Guardian King. I had to take the notes I had and come up with a story synopsis that made sense and was interesting and that's what I did. I also, at what I believe was the Lord's nudging, added a new and unexpected element to the story.

It sold, amazingly, but I was deep into RotGK by then and didn't give it a thought until well... this last month. March 1 I began ferreting out all my old files and notes from their various hiding places, collected them into my office and was completely overwhelmed. I have tentative plot lines, lists of possible events, index cards of notes on background issues, setting details, details of character, more possible events, research snippets, incidents or scenes, writings about where I'm going with the story, what kinds of things I might want to do... stacks and piles and folders.

Plus I have about 8 1/2 chapters written, some of which I like and some of which I don't. And over the course of this very distracted month, every time I came in to wrestle with the alligator, I found myself wanting to read email, or staring out the window, or ...

Well, here's a quote from Overcoming Writing Blocks that describes it quite well:

"The paramount symptom of blocking at this first stage is restless, anxious procrastination. You can think of a thousand things you'd rather be doing than sitting at your desk pushing your pen, and when you do finally force yourself to sit down, dozens of extraneous but apparently urgent thoughts bubble up, as your recalcitrant mind ingeniously struggles to distract itself from the task at hand. Then, when you do finally manage to focus your attention on the job, all you get is a dull blankness, or nothing but the most obvious banal truisms. There's no excitement, no inspiration about the whole project; it leaves a flat sour taste in your mouth."

I had forgotten about this. It is right on. Yesterday, when I had all those hours to really get working on the book, sometime in mid-afternoon I picked up the Robin Hobb book I'd started a couple of weeks ago (Fool's Errand -- it was lying enticingly on the dining room table) just to finish the chapter I was in the middle of... and read almost straight through until midnight (minus time to make dinner and watch 24).

Arg. Not at all part of my plan. When I woke up this morning, I refused to let myself go on the usual guilt trip, realizing instead that this was a familiar pattern. That it wasn't just lack of self-discipline, but that something else was going on. The work I had before me was hard, and the strategies I was using to tackle it were not working. I needed more. And so... back to Overcoming Writing Blocks. Check back tomorrow for the rest of the story...

Karen

A New Release

The Wednesday evening before I left for San Fransisco, I received from the UPS delivery guy a package from Bethany House containing my hot off the press copy of Return of the Guardian King.

It's always a little amazing to hold the first copy of your new book in your hands, but especially this one. I can't help remembering how it was at the beginning -- the warnings that the series might never actually be completed and the stories of others which hadn't. Of course at the back of your mind, you always hope the book will be a break out blockbuster success, but that's not been the case. Still, here it is, a real book sitting in my hands. Soon all those people who have written or told me in person how much they are looking forward to reading it, will at last read it.

Already a couple of reviews have come out... I read the first with trepidation, fearing the reviewer might have found the book incomprehensible. Or boring. Neither seemed to be the case, so that was a relief. Or maybe I should say a confirmation that once again the Lord came through, filling in the gaps my weakness left.

I probably won't read it myself for some time. Oh, I'll go through my author's copies (they arrived yesterday) to make sure there aren't any more disasters of signatures being omitted or doubled as with The Shadow Within... but I will wait to sit down and read it until I can get some decent distance on it. Until I can largely forget all the options I wrestled with, the false starts, the actual choices and see what it is that I have done. That will take months at least. And by then I'll be deep into Black Box.

Which I've not worked on much now for two weeks -- ever since the computer crashed. Next week, though I plan to dig in.

For now, I will revel in the Lord's faithfulness. It's amazing that after all the years of writing without apparent success, to realize that I have had five books published. And another in the works.

Grace,
Karen

San Francisco Conference

Last Thursday, Mar 15, I headed out for San Francisco for another weekend of learning God's word and fellowshipping in the company of like-minded believers from all over the country. This was the first time for the San Francisco group to hold a conference and it was wonderful. At left is the lobby of the Doubletree Hotel --San Francisco Airport -- where it was held.

Pastor McLaughlin was in fine form, opening the conference Friday morning in Revelation 3:14 where he began the last segment of his conference studies on the seven churches of Revelation. He started with a review of the seven churches which some take to represent different developments in the church throughout the church age, while others say they represent different types of churches in any generation and still others that they represent different types of believers in any given church during any given generation of the church age. I tend to think it's all three.

Again he stressed the importance of knowing which dispensation we are living in, for without that knowledge it will be impossible to live the Christian way of life.

From there it was on to the exegesis of Rev 3:14 which begins the passage on the church at Laodicea. The first word of note is aggelos which can be transliterated "angel" or translated "messenger," depending on its usage. When it refers to supercreatures, the transliteration "angel" is used; when it’s referring to something in the human realm, it should be translated "messenger." In Mt. 11:10, Mk 1:2, James 2:25 you find examples of when it’s used for people and translated messenger.

In this case, it refers to the pastors of each of the seven churches in Asia minor at the time, and also to the future pastors of the different types of churches in the church age, who are certainly God's messengers to us in these days. But the Pastor does not have a special in with God. He has a voice. Behind the voice must be thought and understanding of the word of God in the original languages, in the historical context in which it was written (Isagogics) and in the comparison of scripture with scripture.

The Bible is the most important textbook, historical tome, instruction manual known to man. It is the one book we can study constantly and still not learn all that it contains. It will survive all time and the destruction of all the present universe. It contains the very thoughts of God, given to us so we might know Him – who He is, what He’s done for us and what He wants us to do.

It has always seemed like a no-brainer to me that the Bible beyond all other books or sources of knowledge should be studied intensely -- like no other. In it are the keys to life in time and in eternity. In it are all the answers to any problem any person will ever face. It contains the answers to why we are here, how we got here, where we are going…

But we can’t all sit down and spend all day studying the word of God because we have to feed and clothe and shelter ourselves. Thus God provided the gift of pastor-teacher. To certain men He has given the gift of pastor teacher, and they are to be supported by those who are assigned to learn from him, so that he will be free to spend his days in the concentrated study of the word of God.

It's not an easy calling. In fact, the daily teaching that is the practical outworking of Our Lord's command to Peter to "feed my sheep" is the easy part. It's the studying that is the hard part. The part that requires discipline, dedication, preparation and a great deal of mental effort. It may take a man all day to unravel the meaning of a single verse – insights that may take but seconds for him to speak when he teaches his congregation.

I can never be reminded of this without feeling a depth of gratitude that God has given me a man who is willing to do all this. It's hard work and unfortunately there are pastors out there who do not wish to do it and so resort to other, easier routes.

More than that, there are many believers who do not wish them to. Believers content to scratch the surface of the love letter God has sent to us under the assumption that the deeper truths, the theological matters have no bearing on their day to day lives. They just want to get by. Or maybe they just want to get whatever they can out of it so as to have a nice life.

I was especially struck by the words Pastor McLaughlin spoke toward the end of his message:

The Lord Jesus Christ had many lovers of His heavenly kingdom, but few bearers of His Cross;

Many seekers of comfort, but few of tribulation;

Many companions of His table when He was prospering, but few in fasting.

Many desire even now to rejoice with Him, but few are willing to undergo suffering for His sake.

Many are eager to follow Him so they can eat of His loaves... but few that they may drink of His cup.

Many say they love Him, so long as there is no adversity.

And many will praise and bless Him so long as they receive comforts from Him. But if He withdraws Himself from them, they fall into complaint or even great deception...

As I said, it was a great beginning to a great weekend.

Grace,
Karen

Peace and Rest

In yesterday's post I made the statement that God wants us to be at peace and at rest. From one of the comments, I see I must clarify. Of course I meant we must be at peace and rest in Him...

My peace I give unto you, not as the world gives...

The world gives peace by having everything placid and in place, no problems, no questions, no doubts, no worries. All is going right. We're sitting on the quiet beach enjoying the quiet shusshing of the waves...safe and secure and content. That's not the peace our Lord gives. It's a peace, but it's one that everyone can have if the circumstances are right.

His peace is one that is not dependent on our circumstances. It's based in our mental attitude and our understanding of who we are and who God is. It's based on our decisions to think certain things and not think other things.

We are told in Hebrews that the only thing we are to fear is not entering into His rest. The ministry I'm a part of refers to that as faith-rest: We have faith that God has everything under control, that He is fully aware of everything that is going on in our lives and that He wants for us His highest and best -- which He is fully able to give. And we rest in that.

A few weeks back as I was settling down to sleep one night it occurred to me that when you are sleeping -- resting -- you are not thinking about your problems. You are asleep! When you are asleep you are not consciously trying to solve your problems. So it should be in life. We apply the appropriate truths to the situation and we stop thinking about it.

How does this relate to the question of the activities one takes on in one's daily life? Can you be at rest while doing things? Of course. It goes back to motivation. Why are you doing the things you are doing? If you are doing so many things you have no time to think, no time to sit and consider God, learn His word, pray. No time to remember him throughout your day because you are constantly consumed with doing the next thing, or the next five things, in a state of constant tension for fear of not getting done everything you've set for yourself to do...and then guilt over what you're obviously not going to get done -- that's not peace. Nor rest.

If we are moving through our days in the confidence that God is the one who will provide all our needs, that God is the one who keeps us alive, that ultimately everything is by His hand, then where is the need for frenzy? Where is the need for taking on more than we have the capacity to handle? If we have placed responsibility for our happiness and blessing totally in Him, why do we still have a mental list of things we have to have and do to make us happy? (Keep a clean house, bake cookies for the class party, have people think well of me...)

The tasks that God places in our lives are there to bless us and help us to grow. But we must stay in control of our mental attitude toward them, and not let the tasks turn into our masters. One of the ways a cult draws its new recruits ever deeper into the fold is to give them lots and lots to do. Keep them constantly busy to the point of exhaustion so they have no time to think about anything but the constant run of things to do. I think the kingdom of darkness does the same to people in general -- believers and unbelievers. Keep them so busy they never have time to think about what they're doing or, more important, why exactly they are doing it.

I know that I, at least, have a tendancy to make to do lists and things others claim are important to be my master. More and more "have to be done" things build up. If I don't stop and step back and take a look, I will run myself ragged, get grumpy and frantic and be completely out of fellowship with God. I try to do it all on my own, without any thought that maybe all these things I "have" or want to do are not God's plan for my life at all. ("They accomplish a plan, but not mine..." Is 30:1)

Thus my motto has become:

There's always time to do the will of God.

Karen

Simpify Your Life

Well, my glasses are starting to work (the problem's not the prescription, it's the length of time since I've had a prescription change coupled with a change in shape of the glasses themselves), my computer is doing well (I'm pretty happy with Vista) and I LOVE my new printer! Wow.

Today and yesterday I put in my first full days working on Black Box since I officially "began". The new routine and organizational principles I've been trying to implement are working pretty well with regard to most things in my life so far.

Here are some of them:

Do one thing at a time.

Clean up as you go and put things away when you're done.

Have a daily routine for things that have to be done regularly and stick to it pretty much no matter what.

I've also printed up a list of thirty easy meals we like to eat for dinner and put them in my planning notebook and a chart of the routine mentioned above.

All of those have to do with reducing the amount of decisions that I have to make on any given day, thus cutting into the amount of things floating around in my head. If I don't focus on doing one thing at a time, I will be flitting from one thing to the next as my eye falls upon it, leaving a trail of dropped items and half-done operations in my wake.

I've also been rereading some books on the matter -- first it was Simplify Your Life by Elaine St. John (see above). That's where I got "Do one thing at a time" which is number 81 out of her 100 suggestions. After giving two humorous illustrations of people multitasking (one talking on the phone with the boss while changing the baby's diaper then catching up with her mother-in-law on call waiting, and finishing a game with her three year old so the kids can have a snack before ten dinner guests arrive for the business meeting she's hosting for her husband...) she asks, "Do we really get more done trying to do it all? Perhaps. Does it really matter? Probably not. Are we happier at this frenetic pace? Most definitely not."

When you stop and think about it, it's amazing how many things there are in life to do these days, and how many voices are out there trying to get us to do them. And the voice inside is all too eager to hear and obey -- either out of guilt, fear, worry (everyone says this is the way to success so you have to do it), a misguided assumption of responsibilities God never intended us to take on, or things that just look fun. So many, many things that look like fun. Wow.

Anyway, that was my first step, I think. Do one thing at a time. Don't think you have to do all these things just because they're there. Don't think that you even CAN do all the things there are to do out there. Don't forget you have an enemy who would be delighted if you spent all your time on the fun things or even the alleged "responsibilities" of life so that you had none left for learning God's word or spending quiet time with Him, or fulfilling the calling He's put on your life the very best way that you can.

And God wants us to be at peace and at rest. Not in a frenzy trying to get a bunch of things done. He wants us to enjoy Him and all the precious moments in life that He gives us, to live in His rest and in His word.

Grace,
Karen

Quick Update

My computer is finally up and running again, and most of my files have been transferred, as well as my email addresses and messages. Only my Internet bookmarks remain to be changed over. Yesterday I set up my new printer. It's much heavier than the other one, and I've not had a chance to really try it out, but so far I like it a lot.

The thing with the antivirus problem resolved itself when I did an online chat with an HP support tech. Apparently the program's inability to run any LiveUpdates is as it should be until I purchase and install the complete version of Norton Internet Security (as opposed to the trial version which came with the computer.) The box said I was to get sixty days worth of complementary LiveUpdates. So then, why is the program telling me urgently, with throbbing red hearts, red X's and red exclamation points, that I need to run LiveUpdate and get my virus definitions up to date? Because it wanted me to freak out and buy the full program ASAP, I think.

I did buy it, but I had already planned on doing that. When I began to look into things more carefully I discovered that the option in the NIS settings to run automatic LiveUpdates was running properly -- right under the option with the red X telling me I needed to "run LiveUpdate for the latest protection updates." Though they aren't really presented as options.

I wonder how many people ignore all the furor, and how many fall into the trap like I did?

Anyway, the current storm is nearly over. Now I start round two on the glasses.

Karen

The Schedule Assaulted

Well, I thought I would start putting up two posts a week, seeing as I was moved to put one up last Wednesday. Unfortunately, I also started a routine. And sure enough, I'd barely executed one week of it, when it got blasted to smithereens.

I picked up my new glasses on Friday, and they were better than before, but still not good enough to wear for the drive home. I was told to start wearing them Saturday morning after a night's sleep, so I did. Uuughgh... I wore them much longer this time than last, but I was constantly feeling like I couldn't see. It was hard to do anything.

Also on Saturday morning, my computer crashed. Sort of. It would go on sometimes and not others. After it went on, sometimes it would get really slow and hang up, other times it would work fine for awhile and then get slow and then get fine again only to hang up again. I saved my writing files and a few other folders, but not much more. For one, it was because I didn't have enough time, and for another because I didn't really think it was crashing. I didn't save my email addresses.

Anyway, my husband decided the next day that I needed a new computer. Long story short, I have a new one. That part is really Cool!

The uncool part is that the old one is sitting beside me, no longer hooked up, with all my email addresses on it, and most of my other stuff. Worse, we tried to install our Norton antivirus program, but it's not compatible with the new operating system (we had to get Windows Vista because that's what all new computer packages are coming with these days). So then I tried to install the new Norton antivirus program, only to discover the old one is partially installed -- just enough to prevent the new one from getting any virus definition updates, but not enough to be easily uninstalled...

Did I mention that I also "started" working on Black Box last Thursday? This is too funny.

Oh yeah, and I finally gave up on the glasses by Monday. The thought of putting them on and then working on the computer was just too much. I was having headaches by then, a bit of nausea, and my left eye especially felt as if it was constantly trying to see, especially when working on the computer. They tell you that you might need to wear new glasses for two weeks before you get used to them. But when you can put on your old pair and relieve the discomfort and see better at the same time... I can't see why I should torture myself for two weeks trying to make the new pair work.

So anyway, just as everything was starting to fall into place, it was like a bomb dropped. But this morning as I opened up one of my older notebooks, I was reminded: we have a powerful, unseen enemy. "He is a hunter. He prowls about looking for ways to drag you down. He doesn't want God's truth taught or communicated and he will oppose that... If you're doing something to glorify God, He will be trying to drag you down, get into your soul, get you away from doctrine, and from God's predesigned plan and calling on your life."

The solution? "Hold your ground. Resist the devil and He will flee from you. Hold your ground in the day that evil attacks. Stand firm in your doctrine (the truths of the Word that you know and believe)."

Back to the trenches,
Karen

The Return of the Schedule

I've talked a lot in recent months about throwing out the schedule, about trusting God to see things through and not being such a control freak about everything. It's been my experience that every time I try to gain some control over the things in my life, something comes in to dash it to pieces. Rather than fret and fume and worry about not being able to get control, I chose the route of peace, shrugging it off and putting all in the Lord's hands.

Well, He did see things through, but they got very messy there at the end, and I didn't like it. Now that it's all over, I think maybe I misapplied. It's the nature of the spiritual life that we learn as we go, receiving the concepts in Bible class, then being set loose to try to apply them to our lives. We have success or fail entirely or maybe experience a combination of both. Probably that more than anything else. We thought we understood what the problem was, but as time and events unfold, we have second thoughts.

So it's been with me and... (I'm embarrassed to write this)... schedules. That's the drawback with writing a regular blog: all your foibles and misapplications come back to haunt you. Oh well. At least there is one thing of which I am sure: I am not alone when it comes to foibles and misapplications.

I have wrestled with this whole idea of routine and schedules -- for housework, for home schooling, for writing -- for more years than I care to recall. I've had schedules and I've followed them and they've fallen apart and I've fretted and fumed and become a slave to them. Not good. I've thrown them out the window and become a slave to my emotions and/or whatever person or events come along in my life. Also not good.

My pendulum tends to swing between scheduling and no scheduling. After the last year of virtually no scheduling, the pendulum seems to be swinging back. "Well," says I, "I sure didn't like the way that turned out. Let me try the schedule thing again."

But this time I want to think it out a bit more.

The Lord's already shown me that I was trying to do too much, and I've been making adjustments, pulling back from the networking and marketing which were the biggest time consumers... But that's not all that needs to be done. I think there does need to be a schedule -- to my housework, to my days, and maybe... to my writing. But I'm not going to tackle the latter until later.

Though we aren't to be enslaved to a schedule, I think the Bible is pretty clear we're to be organized, and routines -- schedules -- are part of organization. Recent lessons about self-control have brought this up, so I've been contemplating it. Asking myself why I think it's going to work this time when it's never really worked before. Wondering if maybe it worked better before than I realized, but that nothing is ever going to be perfect... Wondering if there might have been other reasons for the failure (my sin nature, the oppostion of the kingdom of darkness which will do whatever it can to destroy the routine in a person's life). Maybe I shouldn't have given up on it so fast.

Then, in going through the piles of paper in my office I came upon my notes from a class I'd listened to in October of 1999, buried among nonstops about Return of the Guardian King and writings about generating a storyline. Totally random. And not random at all.

It was exactly what I needed: the first thing those notes mentioned was that having self control means you have an organized life based on the fact that you recognize what is important. Those words leaped off the paper at me. Yes, I knew that. You set up your routine based on what you deem important. I thought I knew what was important. But now I realize I need to think that through a little more.

To be continued...

Karen

A New Printer & Blogging

Well, as you can see, I'm still here, blogging. I wanted to put something up yesterday, but ended up too tired when I actually had the time. I've spent the week cleaning out my office, catching up on email, going to jury duty, rereading Assassin's Quest and taking notes, researching printers and then buying a new one.... That was cool, because after I'd gone online to consumersearch.com and found out that Canon was the hands-down best brand according to the reviews, I went to my local Office Max to see if they had the model I was interested in and there was a guy there who actually knew something! I was amazed. Not only did he know lots about the model I wanted and the one I ended up buying, but he also explained why I had so much trouble with my HP.

For one thing, front paper loaders that have to fold the paper around the rollers as it's moved through the machine just don't work well for envelopes or heavier stock. I went through probably five envelopes for every one I actually got to print out right. Also, HP is known not to have reliable software for getting the labels and so forth to line up properly. Again, I don't know how many labels I wasted trying to get the thing to print right, and even when I found a combination that seemed to work, the next time it wouldn't. It was awful. I think it was a combination of the front loading/roller issue and the flaky software.

Another thing I like about what I got (Canon Pixma MP530) is that it has single ink cartridges for each color so you don't have to throw out the whole cartridge when only one color has gone dry. At least I like it all now, on paper. We'll see when I get the thing and try to use it.

Anyway, I ended up ordering it from Amazon, my first time to do anything like that. It's supposed to come this week.

As for the blog, after last week's post, I got several emails from readers asking me not to stop, that it wasn't marketing, but ministering. I have long thought of the blog more as a ministry than a marketing tool -- I never really intended it to be a marketing thing when I began it, actually. But when you dabble your toe in the water, you suddenly find there is this entire system under the waves: almost a force that urges you to read other blogs and comment on them so they'll comment on yours, to link to others so that your own will get linked to and noticed, the need to write appropriately interesting copy so that it will get popular, the idiotic fixation on "Did I get any comments?" that sets in, etc... That part was killing me. If I can keep all that at bay, and keep my thinking from going off into "ooh! that would be a good blog post!" when I'm supposed to be concentrating on the book, then I think I can stay with this. At least once a week, and lately I've been thinking maybe more, but we'll see.

Until next week (or sooner, if I am so moved)
Karen